Major Cunt

How's the Christmas tree flogging going, Bill? I've heard it's the only time of the year when you've got wood in your palm. 😄

We're always on the look out for new talent, Lord C. Like Premier League scouts except we don't interfere with you. I think you could be a contender...

I reckon Jacob Rees-Mug is waiting in the wings for a chance in the big seat. However, you're right, Harry, putting this in football management terms. What we need is a Harry Redknap type figure with decent man management and a clear plan of action. Unfortunately there's no Winston Churchill's or Harold Wilson's on the horizon...

I'm not a betting man, Ed, but I reckon William Hill would give you a 1000/1 on correctly identifying Punkers amongst that crowd.

There's many a punter on the Corner who originally hail from London and the home counties, and will have no doubt planned Christmas trips back to the ethnically cleansed wastelands they once left. So despite a pointless month long lockdown which has done little to slow the spread of Covid, its been decided that Southern England needs a taste of the tier system that worked so well up North. Watching the so called experts debating the merits of whether a slight increase in Covid was justifiable in preventing numerous suicides, and pensioners isolated over the festive season they all look forward to. Boris and Co are also now pushing a story of a much more virulent strain putting down roots in the South East. The incompetence of this fucking government is staggering, and the timely produced drug having a 70% efficacy doesn't look promising. The Russian Sputnik vaccine has an efficacy of over 90% and has is being delivered to the Russian populace as a type. Cancelling Christmas. Fuck right off, Boris!

Further down the aisle is Drew's bird gathering the weeks cider quota.

Now that's either an incredibly vivid or depraved imagination. On the subject of those furloughed I had the misfortune earlier of having to take a dump in a public convenience, and after layering the seat with bog roll as a makeshift barrier I spotted the name Punkape, accompanied by a phone number above a crude circular hole. The advert didn't mention rates, so I gather this a hobby... Harvey Proctor indeed.

A lengthy ban for the 6ft beast is well overdue. I'm thinking 3 months at least considering it's constant infractions.

It's highly unlikely that I'd see you later as I don't frequent Canal Street, work a faggot sex line, or pretend to play golf...

Pen, your games mentioning random fucking place names that no cunt apart from Dr Beeching* has ever heard of. *employed by the government in the 60's to strip away one third of the country's train stations, and making travel by train an almost Third Reich experience bar the free fair.

How ironic coming from a once champion greyhound who's only contribution now is a shit in the local park... You really are finished here, but that's why you invested in the site, a desperate attempt to remain relevant!

You can try, Weary, but the foreman of the jury has just returned a guilty verdict...

What establishment are you currently serving time in? The only reason I ask is so that I can inform the screws that you're hiding more up your cavernous sphincter than Winston's mamba. I'd wager that on a cavity search they'd find half of B wings phones and chargers. You've been rumbled...

I've featured on the leaderboard many a time but have never felt the need to message other members for reassurance and a pat on the head. The only reason you reached number two was by using the tired and tested caged primate technique, chucking enough shit at the board in the hope that some of it sticks to a like... Your inability to initially edit a post just reinforces the Corner tenant that all northerners are fucking thick, bar @Roadkill who as a geordie is immune to the belief. Stop the arse kissing and start making us laugh. You're lucky @judgetwi has died of Covid as one of his many prejudices are scousers and brown noses.

You are Eric Knowles. I therefore claim an incredibly suspect clutch bag from Frank, and a Christmas card from Jewdy...if he's still alive!

I certainly could, Ed. Sporting a fedora and a hideous pastel coloured sports jacket.

Well, they both go hand in hand. Old Franco stated on a previous thread about longing to eat some "Timothy's Cadbury's". I'd like to think everybody's jaw dropped upon this revelation, but I doubt even an eyebrow was raised.

More than likely. He's trained his geese to perform fellatio on him before the act due to being both geriatric and a fowl deviant... That's the French for you.

Let's be thankful we don't live there, Harry. I'm sure it will become a place of pilgrimage for the likes of Dodgy Dom, Cuntish Cove, and the rest of the hard-line Cuntservative who see her as a deity. A statue of Harrold Wilson would be far more befitting, considering he's the last people's Prime Minister.

Wouldn't it be cheaper and more befitting to have the sculpture cast in iron. I hope it becomes the local pigeons favourite convenience.

Indeed. However, there's a widespread conspiracy theory that the top echelon of the 'SS' fled to a secret base in Antarctica. The plot is mainly fuelled by America's 'Operation High Jump' of the late 1940's. They sent an armarda of ships, planes, soldiers and an aircraft carrier to investigate under the guise of an expedition. The leader of the expedition Admiral Richard Byrd claimed his planes controls suddenly locked up mid flight, and was then guided to an oasis via automation and meeting a race of 7ft Aryan's. Byrd claimed during this flight that the interior was snow free in places being heated by geothermal springs. Along with discovering vast deposits of coal, gold and many other rare minerals. The interesting part of the story is that he was planning on publishing his diary's, but ended up jumping out the window of a military psychiatric hospital. He'd been sectioned despite no prior mental illness... The Antarctic Treaty is also the longest observed treaty in history. That's why there's no mega corporations mining there, and considering it was once joined to South Africa gold's a certainty!

You could be Shaking Stevens for all I fucking know, but it's gotta be better than a skinny Greek cunt I heard the other day, murdering a 'Kooks' number from a cafes kitchen.

I'm sure old Panz senior was guiding in the odd U-boat via torch during WW2. Hitler probably would have built a retreat somewhere near Shannon, and turned the rest into a concentration camp. Expect the first of many ferry's containing your quota of duskies in the coming months. Leo's got fuck all else to bargain with, baby...

The only reason we suffered less than some other allies is due to us being an island nation. Hitler never wanted a war with Britain due to our Royal Navy, and the likelihood of Uncle Sam rolling up his sleeves. Your average first world European is more concerned with keeping his job and the cost of essentials down. Britain leaving is the first step to the EU falling like dominoes. Several other nations are considering referendums on their own sovereignty, and I hope the results will be favourable... Joe Biden's a cunt, and also an alleged Savilist, but you won't find that on CNN. The Don's run is finished no matter how many lawsuits and lawyers he employs. Here's to 2021!

That's not very nice, Lina, is it? I would have thought that a gender equality championing photographer from Torquay would be more understanding.