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Posted

Has there ever been a bigger dog turd of a programme?,fronted by 2 inane fuckwits,one a northern monkey so bland he makes Andy Murray sound interesting,that cackling Welsh bint can fuck right off too,pair of cunts

Guest Gong Farmer
Posted

A shitfest for the dumbed down easily pleased thick and hard of understanding. Fucking muck.

Posted

Never watched it. What is it about?

I believe it's about One.

Hence the title The One Show.

I hope that helps.

Posted

Never watched it. What is it about?


To quote the much-missed Applescruff - it's a cuntfest.

More. it's a cuntfest that can't decide what it wants to be. Channeling the ghost of the old Nationwide with 'skateboarding ducks' a-plenty, it'll then career off into 'That's Life' consumer protection territory.

However it's real soul is in Comedy.

They have a 'sleb on every night - as usual, there to promote their latest book / film / genital piercing. Mostly 'H' listers and below but occasionally they'll turn up a real superstar whose agent has lost the plot and booked them onto this farce.

The 'sleb has to sit there throughout the entire show, and offer up faux interest in whatever shoite is being shovelled at the viewers that evening. However, the real hilarity ensues when said 'Sleb has to comment on said shoite which leads to all manner of great conversational cameos, viz:

"So, Robert de Niro, what do you think about Female Genital Mutilation among sub-Saharan tribeswomen then?"

"We've got Gene Simmonds with us tonight. You must have an opinion on the demise of Phones-4-U and the monopoly position it seems to confer on The Carphone Warehouse?"

If that doesn't make you laugh, you're dead already
  • Like 1
Posted

Ah Nationwide. I do remember Bob Wellings and Frank Bough. Didn't the latter get caught going into knocking shops?


Is it more acceptable to snort cocaine off a prozzer's arse than a rent boy's helmet? .... Yes, in my view.
  • Like 1
Guest DingTheRioja
Posted

Is it more acceptable to snort cocaine off a prozzer's arse than a rent boy's helmet? .... Yes, in my view.

 

Are we into Angus Deyton territory here?

Posted

Ah Nationwide. I do remember Bob Wellings and Frank Bough. Didn't the latter get caught going into knocking shops?

seem to recall old boughy had a penchant for the C&A look in knitwear ....... or something like that.

Posted

The last major howls of outrage on the 'One Show ' were when a seedy English pensioner from Stockport was jailed for being gay in Morroco.
They failed to report or discuss the fact that the Morrocan was a male prostitute and money had changed hands in a country where prositution is illegal.
Why change an established agenda ?


Good point. My guess is that there is little sympathy for this daft old bugger anyway. Let's face it, he wasn't locked up for being gay, he was locked up for engaging the services of a prozzer.
Posted

From what I've seen of it, they usually ask for people to send in a picture of themselves doing something stupid. And silly bastards actually do. The bottom end of tv methinks.

Broney must be a regular on the show.

Posted

From what I've seen of it, they usually ask for people to send in a picture of themselves doing something stupid. And silly bastards actually do. The bottom end of tv methinks.


I might send them a picture of me watching this fucking wank, then.
Posted

Perfect view from the back windows for a cunt with a sniper who wanted to stop broadcasting of this utter horse shite pig spittle diarrhoea!

I would switch over from Antiques Road Trip for that footage!

  • 4 years later...
Posted
On 18/02/2015 at 21:01, Neil said:

Has there ever been a bigger dog turd of a programme?,fronted by 2 inane fuckwits,one a northern monkey so bland he makes Andy Murray sound interesting,that cackling Welsh bint can fuck right off too,pair of cunts

Is she really Welsh? I thought she was taking the piss. 

Posted

She mentions it slightly less more times that James 'fuckwit' Martin says he's from Yorkshire.......both shitholes by the way

Guest Miles
Posted
3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Is she really Welsh? I thought she was taking the piss. 

I'm from Crewe .. just sayin'

Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches
Posted
On 18/02/2015 at 21:01, Neil said:

Has there ever been a bigger dog turd of a programme?,fronted by 2 inane fuckwits,one a northern monkey so bland he makes Andy Murray sound interesting,that cackling Welsh bint can fuck right off too,pair of cunts

No never. No steaming turd ever has emerged from a hound's arse to stink like the One Show. IThe name of it is a lie too - not a show at all, just a bunch of smug bastards plugging books and films and counting their cash from the cunts who watch it. And the turds who've presented it (sat talking smug bollocks) are the sort of greedy sods of the Chiles, Evans and Bleakley calibre. Time to rethink the licence fee.

That is all, I'm nauseous now because of you.

Guest Miles
Posted
33 minutes ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

No never. No steaming turd ever has emerged from a hound's arse to stink like the One Show. IThe name of it is a lie too - not a show at all, just a bunch of smug bastards plugging books and films and counting their cash from the cunts who watch it. And the turds who've presented it (sat talking smug bollocks) are the sort of greedy sods of the Chiles, Evans and Bleakley calibre. Time to rethink the licence fee.

That is all, I'm nauseous now because of you.

Richard & Judy.

Guest Miles
Posted
5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

That man deserves a fucking medal.

Judy-Finnigan.jpeg

What's she like when she takes the make-up off?

Guest 'eavensabove
Posted
20 minutes ago, The Guard said:

What's she like when she takes the make-up off?

The Guard

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