Guest luke swarm Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Mrs Swarm brought home from Tesco a slab of Carlsberg Lager as it was on offer. it is a repellent metallic rats piss filtered thru a sweaty sock and probably unfit for human consumption. Mixed with cheap cider it is barely palatable but still a chore to drink.The bastard cuntish brewers are getting wise to people looking for the old "brewed under licence in UK" and are now saying on the can "brewed in the EU"Obviously they are aware that their beer is shit otherwise why this deception...FOSTERS, KRONENBURG, CARLING,STELLA.....Its all the same , utter shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Try Tesco Value Lager....... and then you will be clammering for a can of EU/UK brewed Stella.... not Fosters... but definately the stella... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 FOSTERS, KRONENBURG, CARLING,STELLA.....Its all the same , utter shite. How very dare you. Larger is a temporary solution from all life's problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 For at least the 1000th time, the only British-made drink worth even the slightest fuck is Buckfast. Breakfast of champions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 I like weak fizzy lager, best type of alcamahole there is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Shit lager got me through some awful times in the early to mid 80s. It put me to blissful sleep on peoples floors and gardens and it even bought me 6 weeks in a police cell so its been a big part of my life. Still shit though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted August 5, 2015 Report Share Posted August 5, 2015 For at least the 1000th time, the only British-made drink worth even the slightest fuck is Buckfast. Breakfast of champions!Benedictine Shandy makes a satisfactory rehydrating eye opener. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 5, 2015 Report Share Posted August 5, 2015 I think Skol must be a contender. As far as I can tell only available in Iceland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 I have not seen Skol since the eighties, it was my first drinking experience I think....those little 1/2 size cans from the offie....2 were enough to get me pissed and only 20 pence or so. I think they were only about 2.5% strong but they seemed to be the height of sophistication in the Smethwick Massif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 I have not seen Skol since the eighties, Same with Tuborg. Then I ran across it on draught recently in a pub in Copenhagen and it was fucking lovely, which sort of supports your original point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 I've noticed that you can get beer from all over Europe in the UK but you can't get UK beer as a standard anywhere in Europe. What does that tell us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 Someone once said that female hops make lager and male hops make bitter. Is this true or was the person making a fool of the gypsy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 Someone once said that female hops make lager and male hops make bitter. Is this true or was the person making a fool of the gypsy?I saw Camberwell on the news today, off the back of all that Camilla Batshitjelly bollocks. Jesus fuck, but it looked like one of the less salubrious slums in downtown Mogadishu! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 If you ever try a bottle of Rolling Rock here`s a top tip. Bring it out of the fridge. Let it stand for a few minutes. Proceed to lick the bottle condensation. Repeat until para. Trust me, you`ll save time and you`ll get a better buzz off the condensation than you will off the beer. Fucking lamentable brew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 6, 2015 Report Share Posted August 6, 2015 I saw Camberwell on the news today, off the back of all that Camilla Batshitjelly bollocks. Jesus fuck, but it looked like one of the less salubrious slums in downtown Mogadishu!U never been down Camberwell Grove then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) Don't be a cunt and drink real ale instead? Edited August 7, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 I've noticed that you can get beer from all over Europe in the UK but you can't get UK beer as a standard anywhere in Europe. What does that tell us?It tells us all we need to know Gongers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 It tells us all we need to know Gongers.I had to put a cunt straight at work the other day about British beer 'bitter' being served warm. "It's not served warm it's served at room or cellar temperature so shove your misconceptions up your arse!" I've promised to get him a couple of bottles of IPA to prove my point that 'some' British beer is actually very good despite the twigs floating around in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 I had to out a cunt straight at work the other day about British beer 'bitter' being served warm. "It's not served warm it's served at room or cellar temperature so shove your misconceptions up your arse!" I've promised to get him a couple of bottles of IPA to prove my point that 'some' British beer is actually very good despite the twigs floating around in it.Their only used to drinking Heineken where you are.Was in Alemere port last week. Very nice place. Ever been there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Don't be a cunt and drink real ale instead?Most of those 'real ale' beers are thrown together by micro breweries that are about six months old as opposed to say Belgium Trappist beers that are centuries old and seeped in tradition. Micro breweries try but fail miserably in my opinion after going to an English beer festival in Venlo a few years back. They called it a festival but it was just a promotional gig where hardly anyone turned up. All the English in attendance were crowding out the cafes in town sampling our run of the mill Dutch and Belgium grog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Their only used to drinking Heineken where you are.Was in Alemere port last week. Very nice place. Ever been there?No never been there, I'll put it on my list of place to go on one of our weekend city breaks. The main beers drunk nationally are Heineken, Grolsch, Amstel and Hertog Jan except in the deep south where it's Dutch Brand beer and Leeuw beer and the Belgium Jupiler. Palm and Trappist beers. I live ten minutes from the German border where most of the beer sold here is German both in the shops and cafes . So it depends on the location as to what beer you drink. They don't sell much in the way of Heineken around these 'ere parts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 No never been there, I'll put it on my list of place to go on one of our weekend city breaks. The main beers drunk nationally are Heineken, Grolsch, Amstel and Hertog Jan except in the deep south where it's Dutch Brand beer and Leeuw beer and the Belgium Jupiler. Palm and Trappist beers. I live ten minutes from the German border where most of the beer sold here is German both in the shops and cafes . So it depends on the location as to what beer you drink. They don't sell much in the way of Heineken around these 'ere parts. Jupiler. Headache in a bottle. Fucking Belgians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Jupiler. Headache in a bottle. Fucking Belgians.There's nothing you can tell the Belgians about brewing beer. Belgium beer is the last word in beer, even any Dutchman will tell you that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 There's nothing you can tell the Belgians about brewing beer. Belgium beer is the last word in beer, even any Dutchman will tell you that.Still gives me a banging head whatever they say. Not that I'd understand the Flemish cunts anyway,, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Still gives me a banging head whatever they say. Not that I'd understand the Flemish cunts anyway,,It's funny as I understand and speak Belgium Flemish better than the bastardized local Dutch dialect where I live now. The dialects here actually change from village to village where they have a hard time understanding each other. I've actually had to translate between two people living only fifteen kilometres apart as they just don't understand each other. A lot to do with that is that the stubborn cunts refuse to speak common everyday Dutch, even the local newspapers are in dialect and it's a situation I find absolutely abhorant . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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