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Turning old sixties tv shows into films


Guest Alfie Noakes

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Guest Alfie Noakes

So we have the man from uncle now released. David McCallum and Robert Vaughn were brilliant in the series and it was very much of its time. Hollywood seems to be devoid of original ideas, this has been going on for a couple of decades. Cannot think of a new idea so lets take something that was very popular and absolutely ruin it. You only have one real success of this method of plagiarism and that is mission impossible. Still a bag of shite compared to the original. A couple of recent flops were the Avengers and Lone Ranger reworks. 

I am still to be convinced that batman or superman have been done any justice recently either.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

"Oh no, its Selwyn Froggit" and I am thinking Matt Perry to play Bill Maynards character, they are both similarly unfunny.

Edited by Drew P Pissflaps
Luke & Matt error (not David or John) fucking bible
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How about Skipindah the Punjabi kangaroo?

Or Bagpuss- The Amphetamine years, a new hard hitting and gritty tale of redemption brought to you by Ken Loach. After years of inactivity, a jaded bagpuss becomes addicted to speed in an effort to put some oomph into his life. The drug coaxes out the inner cunt that is present in all cats, and his downward spiral into addiction culminates with him committing a series of homophobic hate crimes in 1990's Soho. He eventually learns to accept his own subconsciously repressed homosexuality with the help of a young, leather chaps wearing, kebab loving, south londoner. Together they find redemption and abandon bigotry, devoting themselves instead to the altar of the glory hole, literally living in sweet gay abandon

Edited by Decimus
Judge inspired addition
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Guest DingTheRioja

Three words.

Steve Martin. Bilko.

 

 

Fucking cunts, tainting my memories of a brilliant tv series, possibly the funniest in history.

Too true... Steve Martin cant do fuckall but that shitty sneer... Bilko was fucking ace, one of the few Murrican sitcoms that was actually funny...

Now... Happy Days...

Arthur Fonzerelli?  Jim Carey...

Jennifer Aniston as the mumsy milf Mrs Cunningham...

That oirish cunt off Mrs Browns to play Mr C...

 

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Three words.

Steve Martin. Bilko.

 

 

Fucking cunts, tainting my memories of a brilliant tv series, possibly the funniest in history.

One of the only films I've ever walked out of before it had finished. Complete and utter pile of fucking wank. It was my girlfriend at the time's idea to go see it, the stupid bitch.

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How about Skipindah the Punjabi kangaroo?

Or Bagpuss- The Amphetamine years, a new hard hitting and gritty tale of redemption brought to you by Ken Loach. After years of inactivity, a jaded bagpuss becomes addicted to speed in an effort to put some oomph into his life. The drug coaxes out the inner cunt that is present in all cats, and his downward spiral into addiction culminates with him committing a series of homophobic hate crimes in 1990's Soho. He eventually learns to accept his own subconsciously repressed homosexuality with the help of a young, leather chaps wearing, kebab loving, south londoner. Together they find redemption and abandon bigotry, devoting themselves instead to the altar of the glory hole, literally living in sweet gay abandon

Big fan of your work here

I always felt Andy Pandy had a faint whiff of the perve about it and certainly taking it into beyond a 'U' classification if it ever did make it to the big screen. That bear for starters - what the fuck was that all about? The lead character himself is / was gay beyond screaming tears and why can't I get this image out of my mind of Looby Loo dressed in naught but rubber knickers with in-built dildo and 'Siouxsie Sioux' make up, presiding over the whole affair, wielding a whippy tawse?

Certainly art-house cinema material, I'm thinking.....

Edited by Jiggerycock
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How about Skipindah the Punjabi kangaroo?

Or Bagpuss- The Amphetamine years, a new hard hitting and gritty tale of redemption brought to you by Ken Loach. After years of inactivity, a jaded bagpuss becomes addicted to speed in an effort to put some oomph into his life. The drug coaxes out the inner cunt that is present in all cats, and his downward spiral into addiction culminates with him committing a series of homophobic hate crimes in 1990's Soho. He eventually learns to accept his own subconsciously repressed homosexuality with the help of a young, leather chaps wearing, kebab loving, south londoner. Together they find redemption and abandon bigotry, devoting themselves instead to the altar of the glory hole, literally living in sweet gay abandon

Big fan of your work here

I always felt Andy Pandy had a faint whiff of the perve about it and certainly taking it into beyond a 'U' classification if it ever did make it to the big screen. That bear for starters - what the fuck was that all about? The lead character himself is / was gay beyond screaming tears and why can't I get this image out of my mind of Looby Loo dressed in naught but rubber knickers with in-built dildo and 'Siouxsie Sioux' make up, presiding over the whole affair, wielding a whippy tawse?

Certainly art-house cinema material, I'm thinking.....

I think we're witnessing the flourishing genius of the new Coen Brothers right here.

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Three words.

Steve Martin. Bilko.

 

 

Fucking cunts, tainting my memories of a brilliant tv series, possibly the funniest in history.

He also fucked up Inspector Cluesau as well.

Dennis Pennis shoved a mic under Martins nose and asked him why he wasn't funny anymore. Comedy gold

How about On The Buses- Journey into Terror?

Tom Cruise as Stan Butler, Tom Hardy as Stan, Gary Busey as Blakey and Winona Ryder as Olive. Vannessa Redgrave as the mum and Samuel L Jackson as the miserable cunt who was married to Olive.

A bomb has been placed under the 37 bus driven by our hero by serial baddy John Malkovic who is a rogue CIA agent. The terror of the passengers on the Shepperton to Teddington bus is palpable as Stan cannot go below 30mph. Original eh?

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Dennis Pennis shoved a mic under Martins nose and asked him why he wasn't funny anymore. Comedy gold

I remember that. His face just drops and he looks genuinely wounded by it.

Another similar one was when he asked Andrew Lloyd Cuntbreed Webber if he'd been writing songs then rubbing them out again; suggesting that people were saying he'd been "decomposing lately". Awful joke but Webber just looks gutted, stares back at the camera and at Pennis a few times each, then just fucks off the screen looking a little more than bemused. The soapy tit-wank that he is.

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Guest luke swarm

He also fucked up Inspector Cluesau as well.

Dennis Pennis shoved a mic under Martins nose and asked him why he wasn't funny anymore. Comedy gold

How about On The Buses- Journey into Terror?

Tom Cruise as Stan Butler, Tom Hardy as Stan, Gary Busey as Blakey and Winona Ryder as Olive. Vannessa Redgrave as the mum and Samuel L Jackson as the miserable cunt who was married to Olive.

A bomb has been placed under the 37 bus driven by our hero by serial baddy John Malkovic who is a rogue CIA agent. The terror of the passengers on the Shepperton to Teddington bus is palpable as Stan cannot go below 30mph. Original eh?

Arthur (Samuel L Jackson) " say what again, go ahead motherfucker I dare you, I double dare you to say what again" ..........Olive (Winona) "Mum, Can you tell him mum he's being horrible to me again". Mum (Redgrave) "Leave her alone Arthur you Zionist Oppressor  and eat your breakfast" etc. etc.

See Gyps doesn't work , now if Arthur was played by Winstone( "OI AV CAM TO KILL YOR MONSTA")  and Olive by that Miranda woman, THEN we would have comedy gold    

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Arthur (Samuel L Jackson) " say what again, go ahead motherfucker I dare you, I double dare you to say what again" ..........Olive (Winona) "Mum, Can you tell him mum he's being horrible to me again". Mum (Redgrave) "Leave her alone Arthur you Zionist Oppressor  and eat your breakfast" etc. etc.

See Gyps doesn't work , now if Arthur was played by Winstone( "OI AV CAM TO KILL YOR MONSTA")  and Olive by that Miranda woman, THEN we would have comedy gold    

I'm rethinking casting Jackson as Blakey. "Get that motherfucking bus out before I pop a cap in yo ass".

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Guest DingTheRioja

Arthur (Samuel L Jackson) " say what again, go ahead motherfucker I dare you, I double dare you to say what again" ..........Olive (Winona) "Mum, Can you tell him mum he's being horrible to me again". Mum (Redgrave) "Leave her alone Arthur you Zionist Oppressor  and eat your breakfast" etc. etc.

See Gyps doesn't work , now if Arthur was played by Winstone( "OI AV CAM TO KILL YOR MONSTA")  and Olive by that Miranda woman, THEN we would have comedy gold    

So long as someone gets that fugly monster, I think it's a go-er.... unlike her...

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Guest Bill Stickers

Big fan of your work here

I always felt Andy Pandy had a faint whiff of the perve about it and certainly taking it into beyond a 'U' classification if it ever did make it to the big screen. That bear for starters - what the fuck was that all about? The lead character himself is / was gay beyond screaming tears and why can't I get this image out of my mind of Looby Loo dressed in naught but rubber knickers with in-built dildo and 'Siouxsie Sioux' make up, presiding over the whole affair, wielding a whippy tawse?

Certainly art-house cinema material, I'm thinking.....

Perhaps a spin-off episode of Noddy would be good too. He could be swayed by the goblins to join them under the bridge smoking crack and drinking special brew.

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Perhaps a spin-off episode of Noddy would be good too. He could be swayed by the goblins to join them under the bridge smoking crack and drinking special brew.

Do you think?

I always had him down as a self-righteous little prig, but maybe that was just masking his deeply sociopathic nature.

Anyroad, you've clearly seen murky depths to our bell-toting, Parkinsons-addled, dwarf-friendly chump.

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