Decimus Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Not so long ago, I went to the funeral of Mrs. D's Grandfather, and it reminded me just how hypocritical we can be when it comes to death. Now this was a man unrivalled in his epic levels of cuntishness. Compared to him, Stickers would appear tolerant and compassionate and Neil's sinister deviancy would instead come across like the clumbsy fumblings of a 58 year old virgin. The man was a complete and utter fucking tosser. Yet to hear the eulogies and platitudes coming his way, you'd be fucking forgiven for thinking that you had travelled back in time and attended the funeral of Jesus of Nazareth. When I go, I'm stipulating that nothing but the truth shall be uttered."He was a cunt of the absolute highest order, who despised those less fortunate, intelligent and poorer than himself. The limits to his cuntitude knew no bounds, and he truly and vehemently hated every single one of you gathered here today." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 every single one of you gathered here today."you truly are an arrogant cunt. In all likelihood nobody will attend . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I intend to live forever, or die trying... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I intend to live forever, or die trying... try harder PLEASE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I don't do hypocrisy, I think you are a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 you truly are an arrogant cunt. In all likelihood nobody will attend . I imagine that there will be mile long queues at your funeral. Afterall, there are only a finite amount of people that can piss and shit on your grave at any one time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 try harder PLEASEyou miserable cunt, why can't you be like the other gays and be happy and bubbly. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 You'd be fucking forgiven for thinking that you had travelled back in time and attended the funeral of Jesus of Nazareth. I hope the cunt was nailed to the coffin just to be on the safe side. Perhaps with a stake through the heart for good measure.I told Mrs Baws she could dance on my grave when I go. Silly cunt doesn't know I'm being buried at sea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I imagine that there will be mile long queues at your funeral. Afterall, there are only a finite amount of people that can piss and shit on your grave at any one time.I don't think the cunt deserves a grave.Putting the cunt's decaying fetid corpse on a gallows would be more befitting of his social stature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Not so long ago, I went to the funeral of Mrs. D's Grandfather, and it reminded me just how hypocritical we can be when it comes to death. Now this was a man unrivalled in his epic levels of cuntishness. Compared to him, Stickers would appear tolerant and compassionate and Neil's sinister deviancy would instead come across like the clumbsy fumblings of a 58 year old virgin. The man was a complete and utter fucking tosser. Yet to hear the eulogies and platitudes coming his way, you'd be fucking forgiven for thinking that you had travelled back in time and attended the funeral of Jesus of Nazareth. When I go, I'm stipulating that nothing but the truth shall be uttered."He was a cunt of the absolute highest order, who despised those less fortunate, intelligent and poorer than himself. The limits to his cuntitude knew no bounds, and he truly and vehemently hated every single one of you gathered here today."Good riddance to old trash. I know one of those; although thankfully he is not a relative of mine the man is a complete and utter wanker and parasite . When this tosser pegs it, It would be better for the cunt to get cremated, otherwise I will shit on his grave and I am not just saying it. He ripped off his mother and his half-brother to the tunes of a quarter million pounds. As they both suddenly passed on, it was too late to press charges. When this tosser was making speeches at their funerals, I had the urge to put a bullet through this thieving, lying cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Not so long ago, I went to the funeral of Mrs. D's Grandfather, and it reminded me just how hypocritical we can be when it comes to death. Now this was a man unrivalled in his epic levels of cuntishness. Compared to him, Stickers would appear tolerant and compassionate and Neil's sinister deviancy would instead come across like the clumbsy fumblings of a 58 year old virgin. The man was a complete and utter fucking tosser. Yet to hear the eulogies and platitudes coming his way, you'd be fucking forgiven for thinking that you had travelled back in time and attended the funeral of Jesus of Nazareth. When I go, I'm stipulating that nothing but the truth shall be uttered."He was a cunt of the absolute highest order, who despised those less fortunate, intelligent and poorer than himself. The limits to his cuntitude knew no bounds, and he truly and vehemently hated every single one of you gathered here today."I bet your last will and testament will make interesting reading too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Not so long ago, I went to the funeral of Mrs. D's Grandfather, and it reminded me just how hypocritical we can be when it comes to death. Now this was a man unrivalled in his epic levels of cuntishness. Compared to him, Stickers would appear tolerant and compassionate and Neil's sinister deviancy would instead come across like the clumbsy fumblings of a 58 year old virgin. The man was a complete and utter fucking tosser. Yet to hear the eulogies and platitudes coming his way, you'd be fucking forgiven for thinking that you had travelled back in time and attended the funeral of Jesus of Nazareth. When I go, I'm stipulating that nothing but the truth shall be uttered."He was a cunt of the absolute highest order, who despised those less fortunate, intelligent and poorer than himself. The limits to his cuntitude knew no bounds, and he truly and vehemently hated every single one of you gathered here today."I plan to attend your funeral, Decs...if for no other reason than to say nice things about you and petition your canonization, knowing you can do fuck all about it. Secretly, I hope to achieve equal cuntitude to the aforementioned deceased cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 "He was a cunt of the absolute highest order, who despised those less fortunate, intelligent and poorer than himself.Strange that, because I despise those more fortunate, more intelligent and less poorer than myself as I think most cunts do. I just feel insufferably superior to those on the lower social scale...its the British way don't cha know. Even the most evil bad tempered cunt seems to become the life and soul of the party when they snuff it seems listening to the eulogys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 "We're her to celebrate the life of......ah, fuck him, the pubs are open, throw the cunt in a skip and get the beers in!"That'll probably be mine....hopefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Dennis Healey has just coughed it...await outpouring of insincerity and platitudes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Dennis Healey has just coughed it...await outpouring of insincerity and platitudes I thought he was dead already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Who?Was he another dodgy (in every way) MP or was he a 'normal' MP...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I hope the cunt was nailed to the coffin just to be on the safe side. Perhaps with a stake through the heart for good measure.I told Mrs Baws she could dance on my grave when I go. Silly cunt doesn't know I'm being buried at sea. Fuck my old boots, i can't believe that even one of you nerds would drag this one up. Speaking of dead fucking cunts Tony Blair snuffs it (Hurrah!!!) and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates. Peter tells him he is going to visit Heaven and Hell and the next day he can decide where he will spend Eternity. "Fair Enough" says Tony, "Let's move on." They go down in the lift to Hell and when the doors open there is an immaculate 18 hole golf course. He plays a round with Sevvy who gives him tips on his swing and putting etc. Then they go to the clubhouse where they have a slap up meal and loads of champers served by lovely birds with their tits hanging out. All the Prime Ministers of the past line up to slap him on the back and tell him what a great job he did. Lady Thatcher is particularly complimentary and offers him a BJ which he politely refuses. Princess Diana forgives him for arranging her murder and also offers him a BJ which he happily accepts. Then Peter takes him up to heaven, the doors open and there are just a load of cunts sitting on clouds and playing harps. The next morning Peter poses the question about his eternal destiny. Tony chooses Hell and they go down in the lift. When the doors open there is just a desolate burning wasteland with loads of pox ridden old hags hobbling around on walking sticks. "What the fuck happened" says Tony, "it wasn't like that yesterday you cunt!" Peter says, "yesterday we were campaigning, today you voted". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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