Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) It was only recently I was feeding some slut oysters down at Wishart's on the shore when I noticed an elephantine monstrosity of a woman sitting opposite, moaning to the waiter in that way only fat cunts are wont to do. Although I couldn't hear fuck all, I could tell that in essence, her bleating about the salad was really a peevish attempt to somehow offload culpability for her being such a greedy fat cunt onto the waiter. Before I could leap over the table and plunge my Sancerre glass into her gut, imagine my revulsion to note a second waiter appear with a fuck-off brick of sticky toffee pudding whilst the other carted of the 'inedible' salad. Naturally the pudding was inhaled like a fucking dust mote- no bother at all! I only then began to ponder on why so many fat cunts sing such a loud, smug (and suspicious) tune about being veggies. Dont get me wrong, i've nothing against veggies, aside from their selfish, awkward demands on any host and the self satisfied cunt manner they exude, but that's another story. I do draw the line at fat cunt veggies. Now, when I hear this spouted by one of them I immediately think "your fridge is busting with fucking buns you cunt" - a quick glance at someone else reveals them thinking "you must eat a fuck load of vegetables eh?", and another "aye, hippos are veggies and all" and so on. I find these cunts an affront to the species whose religious assertion on diet clearly brackets them as prey animals fit only to fill the spaces inside dog food tins. At the very least they are consuming far more than their fair share of vegetables from this biome so for that reason alone should fuck off to another better able to support their glutton and body mass, by which I mean the ocean with the rest of the fat fucking whales. Edited November 20, 2015 by Quincy Cockfingers Thick cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 At last, a topic Judge can't find any fault with...err...nevermind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I wouldn't mind this sort of sanctimonious cunt if it weren't for the fact that everything they eat is flavoured in an attempt to taste like meat. what do vegetarian worms eat? Linda McCartney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 8 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: I was feeding some slut oysters down at Wishart's on the shore... Hey, big spender! Did you take her down to Luca's for ice cream afterwards? 8 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: diet clearly brackets them as prey animals That. Just.... that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 8 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: It was only recently I was feeding some slut oysters down at Wishart's on the shore when I noticed an elephantine monstrosity of a woman sitting opposite, moaning to the waiter in that way only fat cunts are wont to do. Although I couldn't hear fuck all, I could tell that in essence, her bleating about the salad was really a peevish attempt to somehow offload culpability for her being such a greedy fat cunt onto the waiter. Before I could leap over the table and plunge my Sancerre glass into her gut, imagine my revulsion to note a second waiter appear with a fuck-off brick of sticky toffee pudding whilst the other carted of the 'inedible' salad. Naturally the pudding was inhaled like a fucking dust mote- no bother at all! I only then began to ponder on why so many fat cunts sing such a loud, smug (and suspicious) tune about being veggies. Dont get me wrong, i've nothing against veggies, aside from their selfish, awkward demands on any host and the self satisfied cunt manner they exude, but that's another story. I do draw the line at fat cunt veggies. Now, when I hear this spouted by one of them I immediately think "your fridge is busting with fucking buns you cunt" - a quick glance at someone else reveals them thinking "you must eat a fuck load of vegetables eh?", and another "aye, hippos are veggies and all" and so on. I find these cunts an affront to the species who's religious assertion on diet clearly brackets them as prey animals fit only to fill the spaces inside dog food tins. At the very least they are consuming far more than their fair share of vegetables from this biome so for that reason alone should fuck off to another better able to support their glutton and body mass, by which I mean the ocean with the rest of the fat fucking whales. I don't keep buns in the fridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I have nothing to add to this. A modern literary masterpiece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I was trying to work out what 'slut oysters' were for about 20 minutes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 It never occurred to me that you can be a veggie and a fat cunt at the same time. When I want to lose a few pounds I just eat out of the veg basket and the salad drawer. It seems some fat cunt has developed a new meaning of the word vegetarian. Don't eat meat - eat cake instead. Fuck that, when I fancy a good feed I'm off to Cafe Spotto for one of his all day breakfast of champions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: At last, a topic Judge can't find any fault with...err...nevermind! If she was of a dark skinned persuasion he would be wanking himself senseless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I love sushi but it is hard to find places where they cook it properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 38 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: It never occurred to me that you can be a veggie and a fat cunt at the same. When I want to lose a few pounds I just eat out of the veg basket and the salad drawer. It seems some fat cunt has developed a new meaning of the word vegetarian. Don't eat meat - eat cake instead. Fuck that, when I fancy a good feed I'm off to Cafe Spotto for one of his all day breakfast of champions. To quote that fat cunt bob mills, people are always amazed to discover that he's vegetarian. And his stock reply is "well, I can eat an awful lot of cheese pasties." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 3 hours ago, Gurt said: I wouldn't mind this sort of sanctimonious cunt if it weren't for the fact that everything they eat is flavoured in an attempt to taste like meat. what do vegetarian worms eat? Linda McCartney Well said Gurters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 Got one of these hypocritical cunts at work. A little fat bastard with about three chins and his stomach hanging over his trousers who, without a hint of irony, will look at you like you've killed a member of his family if you eat meat in front of him. So I do, always, as close to him and as visible as is humanly fucking possible. Eating that is, not killing his family. Not yet anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Hey, big spender! Did you take her down to Luca's for ice cream afterwards? That. Just.... that. Why, I left her staring sightless at the underside of my crazy paving with all those other whores I "corrected". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 2 hours ago, cuntspotter said: I don't keep buns in the fridge. Sorry Mr Hollywood , you fat cunt, they'll not make it past your garden gate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 2 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: I have nothing to add to this. A modern literary masterpiece. It is my Magnificent Octopus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said: I was trying to work out what 'slut oysters' were for about 20 minutes A poor man's hairy clam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I thought a slut oyster was coughing up a greeny for lube Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 13 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: It is my Magnificent Octopus I'm out of likes. Which is by the by because you wouldn't be getting one anyway you dim witted fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said: I'm out of likes. Which is by the by because you wouldn't be getting one anyway you dim witted fuck. Ooh baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 Quince, this was an absolute fucking gem. Sadly I'm off on my hols this morn for the next few weeks so I won't get to see whether you break the second album curse. Usually my understudy Bill is the self appointed top dog during my absence, but I've got a feeling that you will be the new regent, that is if you haven't drank yourself to death within the next couple of days. Bon voyage you loathsome cunt, I'll bring you back a dose of the clap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 1 hour ago, Manky said: I love sushi but it is hard to find places where they cook it properly. Do you know someone called punkape? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 on the subject of faddy eaters , ever noticed the cunts who frequent the holland and barrett "health" food shops ... they invariably look like fucking death warmed up and always schlep past greggs with a sneer but also the "oooh - if only" glance of envy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 54 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: Do you know someone called punkape? Read the name on here. Thats all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 2 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Sorry Mr Hollywood , you fat cunt, they'll not make it past your garden gate Fuckin' A. In the fucking trolley and down the fuckin' 'atch. Same with pies and cakes. You anorexic fuckstick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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