Guest MikeD Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 It seems that cases of TB, cholera, scurvy, scarlet fever and even the plague are increasing in Britain. At least it'll make a sickie more convincing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 1 minute ago, MikeD said: It seems that cases of TB, cholera, scurvy, scarlet fever and even the plague are increasing in Britain. At least it'll make a sickie more convincing. It's those pesky Welsh coal miners bringing it in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 3 minutes ago, Eddie said: It's those pesky Welsh coal miners bringing it in. Bloody foreigners, coming over here and mining our coal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 I was assuming that you were referencing our very own Admins A.I.D.S, Hepatitis C and virulent, non-curable form of gonorrhea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Just now, Decimus said: I was assuming that you were referencing our very own Admins A.I.D.S, Hepatitis C and virulent, non-curable form of gonorrhea. The old ones are the best. Diagnosed in the morning, dead by lunchtime. No fucking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 1 hour ago, MikeD said: It seems that cases of TB, cholera, scurvy, scarlet fever and even the plague are increasing in Britain. At least it'll make a sickie more convincing. My brother had gas gangrene. Fucking gas gangrene. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 I've got Frankitise , not terminal but a pain in the fucking arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 46 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: My brother had gas gangrene. Fucking gas gangrene. I'm probably going to regret asking this gobbler, but what in the actual fuck is that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 28 minutes ago, scotty said: I'm probably going to regret asking this gobbler, but what in the actual fuck is that? Gas gangrene (also known as clostridial myonecrosis and myonecrosis) is a bacterial infection that produces gas in tissues in gangrene. This deadly form of gangrene usually is caused by Clostridium perfringens bacteria. It is a medical emergency. About 1000 cases of gas gangrene occur yearly in the United States. Myonecrosis is a condition of necrotic damage, specific to muscle tissue. It is often seen in infections with C. perfringens or any of myriad soil-borne anaerobic bacteria. Bacteria cause myonecrosis by specific exotoxins. These microorganisms are opportunistic and, in general, enter the body through significant skin breakage. Gangrenous infection by soil-borne bacteria was common in the combat injuries of soldiers well into the 20th century, because of nonsterile field surgery and the basic nature of care for severe projectile wounds. I thought everyone new that Scotters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 32 minutes ago, scotty said: I'm probably going to regret asking this gobbler, but what in the actual fuck is that? What snatch said. It's fucking awful, it kills you in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 8 hours ago, nobgobbler said: What snatch said. It's fucking awful, it kills you in no time. How did your brother get it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 6 minutes ago, scotty said: How did your brother get it? First they thought he got it from cutting back a hawthorne hedgerow but they tested him for that and it was negative so its a complete mystery. It just starts off like a black bruise which gets bigger by the second. You think you're looking at a bruise but you are literally watching this agressive form of gangrene eat you alive. You haven't got long to get treatment and that's if you can find a hospital with a doctor who can diagnose it and treat it there and then. If you're lucky and its in your arm or leg that can cut it off to save your life. Now that cancer has become as rife as the common cold, let's hope gas gangrene isn't the new cancer. And they dont know how he got it, fucking hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 31 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: First they thought he got it from cutting back a hawthorne hedgerow but they tested him for that and it was negative so its a complete mystery. It just starts off like a black bruise which gets bigger by the second. You think you're looking at a bruise but you are literally watching this agressive form of gangrene eat you alive. You haven't got long to get treatment and that's if you can find a hospital with a doctor who can diagnose it and treat it there and then. If you're lucky and its in your arm or leg that can cut it off to save your life. Now that cancer has become as rife as the common cold, let's hope gas gangrene isn't the new cancer. And they dont know how he got it, fucking hell. Holy shit. I'd honestly never heard of it until now, sounds hideous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: First they thought he got it from cutting back a hawthorne hedgerow but they tested him for that and it was negative so its a complete mystery. It just starts off like a black bruise which gets bigger by the second. You think you're looking at a bruise but you are literally watching this agressive form of gangrene eat you alive. You haven't got long to get treatment and that's if you can find a hospital with a doctor who can diagnose it and treat it there and then. If you're lucky and its in your arm or leg that can cut it off to save your life. Now that cancer has become as rife as the common cold, let's hope gas gangrene isn't the new cancer. And they dont know how he got it, fucking hell. I'd never heard of it either until now. Looked at some photos on the net and fuck me it's a cunt alright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 2 hours ago, nobgobbler said: First they thought he got it from cutting back a hawthorne hedgerow but they tested him for that and it was negative so its a complete mystery. It just starts off like a black bruise which gets bigger by the second. You think you're looking at a bruise but you are literally watching this agressive form of gangrene eat you alive. You haven't got long to get treatment and that's if you can find a hospital with a doctor who can diagnose it and treat it there and then. If you're lucky and its in your arm or leg that can cut it off to save your life. Now that cancer has become as rife as the common cold, let's hope gas gangrene isn't the new cancer. And they dont know how he got it, fucking hell. I don't think it will be the new cancer Nobbler. It has been about since man walked the planet. My grandfather was in the WW1 trenches and the only thing he would ever talk about was trench foot and gas gangrene. The fields in Belgium & N. France were fertilised with horse shit ( unlike Frank's garden , 100% bullshit ) and the bacteria was transferred from the shit to open wounds. Whatever its a real cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 minute ago, witheredscrote said: I don't think it will be the new cancer Nobbler. It has been about since man walked the planet. My grandfather was in the WW1 trenches and the only thing he would ever talk about was trench foot and gas gangrene. The fields in Belgium & N. France were fertilised with horse shit ( unlike Frank's garden , 100% bullshit ) and the bacteria was transferred from the shit to open wounds. Whatever its a real cunt. Yes that's true but not in this case. He was tested for all known causes and they are all negative. You only need to have a low immune system or diabetes or bad circulation to be, shall we say, susceptible. If you only consider everybody who's had cancer having a low immune system, that's about a third of the population gagging for a dose of rotting black flesh. I don't wanna worry about it, lets change the subject. How may id's has frank got? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 3 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: How many id's has frank got? It'd be easier to ask who he isn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 13 hours ago, nobgobbler said: What snatch said. It's fucking awful, it kills you in no time. Oooo, can someone infect ProfB please, I thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, Properkhunt said: If it's green, get it seen. If its red, you're fucking dead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 24 minutes ago, Fatty said: Oooo, can someone infect ProfB please, I thank you Any luck with the slimming virus yet, fat lad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, Decimus said: It'd be easier to ask who he isn't. Jacko tried to insinuate that you are frank, what a fucking wheeze, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 Just now, Alfie Noakes said: 1 hour ago, Decimus said: It'd be easier to ask who he isn't. Jacko tried to insinuate that you are frank, what a fucking wheeze, eh? I've never been more fucking insulted, Alf. A bit of deflection from our kilted cunt I think, to cover his own worthless porridge dripping tracks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: Any luck with the slimming virus yet, fat lad. Who you calling fat?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: Any luck with the slimming virus yet, fat lad. Are you up for a bit of grooming Gobbler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 This is the ticket! None of that pansy autism bollocks. ADHD? I fucking shit it! Cholera, typhoid - bring it and lets have some rickets and diphtheria to keep 'em company Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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