Wolfie Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said: Far from being homophobic my brother in law is gay, you see now? He and I hate closetted queers like punkape, pooftahs and loud mincing queens. I have no trouble with homosexuals. Therefore you must have a gay brother – or your sister's husband is a secret cocksmoker. Please explain yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 1 minute ago, Wolfie said: Therefore you must have a gay brother – or your sister's husband is a secret cocksmoker. Please explain yourself. No, my wife's brother (my brother in-law), maybe smaller words next time will help you. That is quite enough family details for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 19 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Your brother-in-law, by definition, is married to either your brother or your sister. Either your brother is gay too, or your sister and he are acting out some sort of closeted queer charade. I was never confused. Fucking pedants, then my wife's brother. Fucking bellends pair of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: No, my wife's brother (my brother in-law), maybe smaller words next time will help you. That is quite enough family details for now. Ah, I see. Rather like Cuntybaws, I was having a blonde moment. I'm sure you know how this feels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 I saw a woman in the supermarket earlier, struggling to control her kids and looking very stressed out. Turning around quickly, she accidentally knocked over and smashed a bottle of milk. All of a sudden she dropped to her knees and burst into tears, surrounded by the spilt milk. It reminded me of something my dear old Dad used to say to my Mum when I was a boy, so I walked over and said "Get a fucking grip, you stupid cunt." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 36 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Ah, I see. Rather like Cuntybaws, I was having a blonde moment. I'm sure you know how this feels. On an unfortunately regular basis. Age, pain meds and too much weed! Reasons, not excuses. Must try harder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 51 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Therefore you must have a gay brother – or your sister's husband is a secret cocksmoker. Please explain yourself. Reported once from each of my multi Ids for a most flagrant breach of the most arbitrary of rules. You've got 12 outstanding reports and counting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Your brother-in-law, by definition, is married to either your brother or your sister. Either your brother is gay too, or your sister and he are acting out some sort of closeted queer charade. I was never confused. Is it Punkers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 4 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Fucking pedants, then my wife's brother. Fucking bellends pair of you. You're actually quite correct in your terminology, I just felt it important to clarify the position now that we know you lied about the boat. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it.The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 3, 2017 Report Share Posted August 3, 2017 A 12 year old boy gets hit by a car at a busy intersection. A woman witnesses the entire event and runs over to the little boy, who’s lying on the ground in a pool of blood. She gently cradles the boy’s head in her arms and whispers, “Do you need a priest?” The boy moans, “How you can think of sex at a time like this?” A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps. She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later. "Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty nappies!" the doc says. "Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled. "No, you've got bowel cancer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 7, 2017 Report Share Posted August 7, 2017 A teacher is trying to explain maths to some children. "If you have 3 apples and your father gives you one what do you have?" she asks. A kid at the front puts his hand up; "3 apples and a sore arse, miss" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted August 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 @ratcum I'll never forgive the Germans for the way they treated my grandfather at Auschwitz. Three times he was passed over for promotion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted August 11, 2017 Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 4 hours ago, scotty said: @ratcum I'll never forgive the Germans for the way they treated my grandfather at Auschwitz. Three times he was passed over for promotion. There seems to be a growing number of holocaust survivors, which rather puts paid to claims of German efficiency. Your granddad was a workshy nob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 11, 2017 Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 A lesbian friend of mine was ranting at me, "Show me anything that you can do that I cant." So I produced my raging hard on from my trousers, "You're move." I said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 11, 2017 Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 21 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: A lesbian friend of mine was ranting at me, "Show me anything that you can do that I cant." So I produced my raging hard on from my trousers, "You're move." I said. There are a lot of similar misconceptions among wimmin folk Wiz, this reminded me of an argument with my feminist neighbour in January. "Women can do anything men can do" she said smugly. Not so smug after I wrote 'FUCK OFF' in the snow with yellow ink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 12, 2017 Report Share Posted August 12, 2017 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: There are a lot of similar misconceptions among wimmin folk Wiz, this reminded me of an argument with my feminist neighbour in January. "Women can do anything men can do" she said smugly. Not so smug after I wrote 'FUCK OFF' in the snow with yellow ink. She does have one very unique talent...she can turn on her inner hetero, and attract a literal army of blokes who can do the same thing, and convince them to show up on your front garden. Sadly, she'd hate herself forever, and possibly top herself. Who'd want that on their conscience? Spiteful cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl. She asked me for my number. I told her that we usually use names. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 2 minutes ago, Bubba C said: A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl. She asked me for my number. I told her that we usually use names. quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 9 minutes ago, Bubba C said: A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl. She asked me for my number. I told her that we usually use names. A while ago I had a jewish date with a blind girl She asked me for my number So I stole her purse and fucked off 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 36 minutes ago, ratcum said: A while ago I had a jewish date with a blind girl She asked me for my number So I stole her purse and fucked off Nice. What do you think of the French? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 7, 2017 Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 13 hours ago, Bubba C said: Nice. What do you think of the French? as little as possible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 7, 2017 Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 2 hours ago, ratcum said: as little as possible Correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 My grandfather died at Auschwitz. He fell out of his machine gun tower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2017 I wish my wife went down as often as sickipedia. Yes, it's fucking disappeared again. Can't say I'm amazed, the new version was pretty shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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