Otherwise Physically Healthy Cunts Under The Age Of 70 Who Voluntarily Choose To Live In A Bungalow

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Mrs D has just come home with a litre bottle of Grouse...

...see you in a few days...

 

(and to any fucking whiskey fucking snobs... it's a litre bottle, so fuck off...)

So that's where she's fucking got to. I've reached an all new low. Mrs. D. has left me for Ding, and I'm drinking Carlsberg green. Carlsberg cunting green. On a fucking train!

[Cuntybaws]

5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

So that's where she's fucking got to. I've reached an all new low. Mrs. D. has left me for Ding, and I'm drinking Carlsberg green. Carlsberg cunting green. On a fucking train!

I had to Google Carlsberg Green, the concept was so alien to me. I wish now I hadn't, but you can't put the genie back in the bottle.

"It is served in a stylish proprietary bottle that upholds its super premium image. At the heart of this is a redefinition of its brand proposition that took place in April 2011, which celebrates Carlsberg's heritage and values, while connecting with today's active, adventurous generation of beer drinkers."

[Guest DingTheRioja]

1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

I had to Google Carlsberg Green, the concept was so alien to me. I wish now I hadn't, but you can't put the genie back in the bottle.

"It is served in a stylish proprietary bottle that upholds its super premium image. At the heart of this is a redefinition of its brand proposition that took place in April 2011, which celebrates Carlsberg's heritage and values, while connecting with today's active, adventurous generation of beer drinkers."

...is fizzy pop shit.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

What, you mean It's going to take a few days for it to work its way back out from her duodenum?

Honestly, the lengths you Yorkshire folk will go to just to avoid a bit of excise duty...

That was nothing to do with the excise...

[Decimus]

2 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

...is fizzy pop shit.

At 3.8%, you can understand my shame.

[Guest DrCunt]

17 hours ago, Decimus said:

Fuck me. First Drew, now you! You're both giving the county a bad name, there appears to be fucking bungalow's all over the show!

Hate to tell you this Decs.. Me too...

South Norfolk cunting Council wouldn't let me build two stories as I'm right on the Broadland boundary... A bunglow with a footprint approaching the size of Rutland though... no problem. Cunts.

[camberwell gypsy]

4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I had to Google Carlsberg Green, the concept was so alien to me. I wish now I hadn't, but you can't put the genie back in the bottle.

"It is served in a stylish proprietary bottle that upholds its super premium image. At the heart of this is a redefinition of its brand proposition that took place in April 2011, which celebrates Carlsberg's heritage and values, while connecting with today's active, adventurous generation of beer drinkers."

I'm sure when it was first brewed in Denmark it was nice. But as its now brewed in shithole Northampton, it tastes like most of the piss that passes for lager in this country.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

7 hours ago, DrCunt said:

Hate to tell you this Drew... Me too...

South Norfolk cunting Council wouldn't let me build two stories as I'm right on the Broadland boundary... A bunglow with a footprint approaching the size of Rutland though... no problem. Cunts.

3 cunts in fucking bungalows! I despair, I really fucking do.

Does anyone else have anything to confess at what is rapidly becoming Coffin Dodgers Anonymous?

[Guest DingTheRioja]

I had a rental bungalow, but that doesnt count, I never lived there...

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Fuck me, maybe dec and I are the outsiders here. What a total bunch of cunts.

[Guest Snatch]

I believe spunkape lives on the 10th storey of a 12 storey house and out of generosity he let's poor jobless foreigners occupy the other 11 stories.

He overlooks the roof of the local Tesco.

[nocti]

Fuck me swinging, so basically this is the online version of Pontins. I'm surprised half of you cunts can see your keyboards under all the werthers originals wrappers and newspaper cut-out coupons. That is to say, those of you who aren't using some old bastard dictation software i.e. a half-naked middle eastern boy typing your drivel out for you.

I can almost smell the subtle mixed aroma of cat food and just for men you fucking old cunts.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Are most of the visits to this site from Eastbourne IP addresses?

I expected this kind of shit from that decrepit cunt spotter but not Neil. I assumed he had at least 2 stories, one being a basement kitted out as some kind of abduction chamber. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

55 minutes ago, Properkhunt said:

At 44 years of age, I am one of the junior cunts here. Never mind about all that old cobblers that Bill says about him being 25 years old. It is not possible to develop into that much of a cunt in such a short space of time.

I've already explained that I never witnessed the fabled crusty white dog turds people talk about. That puts me at the very least under 30. 

It does worry me that I have all this misery bottled up inside me at a relatively young age. However, I'm quite cheery in person and feel this site is therapeutic. 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

2 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

I've already explained that I never witnessed the fabled crusty white dog turds people talk about. That puts me at the very least under 30. 

It does worry me that I have all this misery bottled up inside me at a relatively young age. However, I'm quite cheery in person and feel this site is therapeutic. 

You lying cunt, I saw one of those the other day.. first one in years mind....

 

[Bubba C]

On 22 March 2016 at 7:32 PM, neil298 said:

Guilty as fucking charged,I was a healthy 40 year old when I decided to build my bungalow,stairs are for cunts.You just wait until your bladder gets fucked and when you get up and have to navigate a flight of stairs and you piss and shit yourself before you can get to the khazi,I'll be having the last laugh as i just have to saunter up the hall to open the bomb bay.When I croak it I wont have to be carried downstairs as I'll already be near the door(undertakers have a hard enough job as it is without having to carry a fat cunt down a set of stairs).Stick your fucking houses up your arse

Neil, I like you, you seem like an alright sort for the most part. However, this shit can not go unmentioned. 

I live in a house as my knees and brain function normally. When I'm downstairs and need a piss or shit, I use the downstairs toilet, or cloakroom, if you will. Similarly, when upstairs and need to relieve myself, the bathroom is where I do my business. 

And if I want a wank, whichever floor I'm on, I just make sure the curtains are drawn and the dog isn't watching, he kills my vibe. 

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

9 hours ago, Bubbles said:

Neil, I like you, you seem like an alrigcloakroomor the most part. However, this shit can not go unmentioned. 

I live in a housI as my knees and brain fun tion normally. When I'm downstairs and need a piss or shit, I use the downstairs toilet, or cloakroom, if you will. Similarly, when upstairs and need to relieve myself, the bathroom is where I do my business. 

And if I want a wank, whichever floor I'm on, I just make sure the curtains are drawn and the dog isn't watching, he kills my vibe. 

You sellfish cunt. Think of the task ahead for the undertakers if you decide to swig from the bottle of Mulled Bleach next to your upstairs khazi. In fact i strongly suggest you relocate all the bleach into your downstairs cliakroom.