Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Saw an advert on the telly today for a mattress with in-built sleep tracking technology. This is the kind of lame, useless bollocks only somebody like Ding would think is useful and cool. What a colossal waste of money for those who think a bit of gimmicky tech improves any product out there. The fucking thing syncs up with an app on your phone, and a wrist-watch style tracking device, so wankers like Ding can analyse their sleep data set on the commute to Wernham Hogg paper merchants. Some of the things the website boasts the mattress can track include the 'time you got out of bed', 'your usual bed time', 'your usual wake up time', and 'number of hours slept' because looking at a fucking clock is such hard work. What possible fucking insights can you gleam from this? That you didn't sleep very well between the hours of 2 and 3 for fuck knows what reason. Or maybe that during your working hours, the movement on the bed suggests your wife is getting ploughed by the Amazon delivery man every day. Pile of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Next time you're being buried face first in the mattress by the Amazon delivery bloke, please forget to breath in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Just now, DingTheRioja said: Next time you're being buried face first in the mattress by the Amazon delivery bloke, please forget to breath in. Ah Ding, a pointless and shit comment posted within 3 minutes. Record time. What a fucking bland little man you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 9 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Saw an advert on the telly today for a mattress with in-built sleep tracking technology. This is the kind of lame, useless bollocks only somebody like Ding would think is useful and cool. What a colossal waste of money for those who think a bit of gimmicky tech improves any product out there. The fucking thing syncs up with an app on your phone, and a wrist-watch style tracking device, so wankers like Ding can analyse their sleep data set on the commute to Wernham Hogg paper merchants. Some of the things the website boasts the mattress can track include the 'time you got out of bed', 'your usual bed time', 'your usual wake up time', and 'number of hours slept' because looking at a fucking clock is such hard work. What possible fucking insights can you gleam from this? That you didn't sleep very well between the hours of 2 and 3 for fuck knows what reason. Or maybe that during your working hours, the movement on the bed suggests your wife is getting ploughed by the Amazon delivery man every day. Pile of shit. Possibly the worst nom for 6 months. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: Possibly the worst nom for 6 months. Possibly, once we've excluded all of the bollocks you've churned out from your first year halls after another bucket bong in the communal kitchen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 well, you did start a (shit) nom just before I posted something, so the "Next Unread" showed up this shit.... and if you and your boyfriends stopped obsessing over me like a bunch of deranged schoolgirls at a Take That Boyz Direction reunion gig and including me in every other fucking nomination, then I might not have to point out how shit you are. Again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Just now, DingTheRioja said: well, you did start a (shit) nom just before I posted something, so the "Next Unread" showed up this shit.... and if you and your boyfriends stopped obsessing over me like a bunch of deranged schoolgirls at a Take That Boyz Direction reunion gig and including me in every other fucking nomination, then I might not have to point out how shit you are. Again. We've been through this Ding. The only thing that matters on this site is the leaderboard. It's what we are all judged against as human beings. There's not much point being on this site if you're not in the top 5. You haven't managed to 'rank' despite posting 4,248 posts. It could be because I have a load of multi IDs and run a like farm (remember when Detective Roops outed me about that?), it could be because me, Dec and Bubbles have a black market circle jerk going on (remember when Detective Roops outed that too?), or it could just be because you're a boring little cunt of no merit. Likes are everything, and you've got nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: We've been through this Ding. The only thing that matters on this site is the leaderboard. It's what we are all judged against as human beings. There's not much point being on this site if you're not in the top 5. You haven't managed to 'rank' despite posting 4,248 posts. It could be because I have a load of multi IDs and run a like farm (remember when Detective Roops outed me about that?), it could be because me, Dec and Bubbles have a black market circle jerk going on (remember when Detective Roops outed that too?), or it could just be because you're a boring little cunt of no merit. Likes are everything, and you've got nothing. Your noms are shit but Dings are flat, flaccid and disappointing. Much like his fumblings with members of the same sex.... Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 1 hour ago, Punkape said: Your noms are shit but Dings are flat, flaccid and disappointing. Much like his fumblings with members of the same sex.... Lol. I've never had any fumblings with members of the same sex... normally I would say "I bow to your greater experience" but that would put me in a vulnerable position. Prickless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Next time you're being buried face first in the mattress by the Amazon delivery bloke, please forget to breath in. Alternatively face down on a leaking water bed and take deep breaths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 3 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: Saw an advert on the telly today for a mattress with in-built sleep tracking technology. This is the kind of lame, useless bollocks only somebody like Ding would think is useful and cool. What a colossal waste of money for those who think a bit of gimmicky tech improves any product out there. The fucking thing syncs up with an app on your phone, and a wrist-watch style tracking device, so wankers like Ding can analyse their sleep data set on the commute to Wernham Hogg paper merchants. Some of the things the website boasts the mattress can track include the 'time you got out of bed', 'your usual bed time', 'your usual wake up time', and 'number of hours slept' because looking at a fucking clock is such hard work. What possible fucking insights can you gleam from this? That you didn't sleep very well between the hours of 2 and 3 for fuck knows what reason. Or maybe that during your working hours, the movement on the bed suggests your wife is getting ploughed by the Amazon delivery man every day. Pile of shit. What a pointless purchase for the boudoir that would be. Well done for bringing it to my attention Bill. I will avoid such frivolousness when purchasing my new authopedic, memory foam, self reclining, piss sheet mattress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 5 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: Saw an advert on the telly today for a mattress with in-built sleep tracking technology. This is the kind of lame, useless bollocks only somebody like Ding would think is useful and cool. What a colossal waste of money for those who think a bit of gimmicky tech improves any product out there. The fucking thing syncs up with an app on your phone, and a wrist-watch style tracking device, so wankers like Ding can analyse their sleep data set on the commute to Wernham Hogg paper merchants. Some of the things the website boasts the mattress can track include the 'time you got out of bed', 'your usual bed time', 'your usual wake up time', and 'number of hours slept' because looking at a fucking clock is such hard work. What possible fucking insights can you gleam from this? That you didn't sleep very well between the hours of 2 and 3 for fuck knows what reason. Or maybe that during your working hours, the movement on the bed suggests your wife is getting ploughed by the Amazon delivery man every day. Pile of shit. Perfect description of this nom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Perfect description of this nom. I can't remember anything you have ever nominated Sleeve. I don't doubt you have nominated in the past... in fact I wouldn't rule out you nominating things several times a day. I just know that much like your personality, your noms would be bland, forgettable, socially maligned arse shag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 10 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Alternatively face down on a leaking water bed and take deep breaths. Can I burry you face down Gobbler, it'll be the best 5 seconds of your life?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 38 minutes ago, Fatty said: Can I burry you face down Gobbler, it'll be the best 5 seconds of your life?? And the last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 11 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: What a pointless purchase for the boudoir that would be. Well done for bringing it to my attention Bill. I will avoid such frivolousness when purchasing my new authopedic, memory foam, self reclining, piss sheet mattress. What is this , is it ' National I Can't Spell Day ' , or are you a true 365/24/7 thick cunt ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 1 minute ago, witheredscrote said: What is this , is it ' National I Can't Spell Day ' , or are you a true 365/24/7 thick cunt ? Bit rich coming from someone who doesn't know where to place spaces in their sentence. Continental idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Fatty said: Can I burry you face down Gobbler, it'll be the best 5 seconds of your life?? Here is another one . Fatty , if you spent more time with your face in dictionaries instead of pork pies there might be some hope for you, you thick cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Fatty said: Can I burry you face down Gobbler, it'll be the best 5 seconds of your life?? What the fuck does burry mean? And no, you can't. You fart pounder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 1 hour ago, witheredscrote said: Here is another one . Fatty , if you spent more time with your face in dictionaries instead of pork pies there might be some hope for you, you thick cunt. Withers, how you have the audacity to comment on a nom about mattresses when your slumber is normally atop a bed of hay is beyond me. You also missed 'matrresses' and 'gleam', but Bill's iPhone screen is fucked, apparently. Now fuck off back to the boules yard you greasy Gallic fuckwit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 3 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: I can't remember anything you have ever nominated Sleeve. I don't doubt you have nominated in the past... in fact I wouldn't rule out you nominating things several times a day. I just know that much like your personality, your noms would be bland, forgettable, socially maligned arse shag. Is the search function too complicated for you? Unlike many here, when an idea for a nom presents, I search to see if it's been done before. If so, I post my rant in an existing topic. It's called chat board etiquette, and clearly, you missed school the day that was covered. On a side note, isn't the trend here to slate the posts and ideas of others? You seem to have blazed new paths in that regard. I suppose every cunt has their moment of glory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: Is the search function too complicated for you? Unlike many here, when an idea for a nom presents, I search to see if it's been done before. If so, I post my rant in an existing topic. It's called chat board etiquette, and clearly, you missed school the day that was covered. On a side note, isn't the trend here to slate the posts and ideas of others? You seem to have blazed new paths in that regard. I suppose every cunt has their moment of glory. What a boring, irrelevant, winding load of shite to try and justify the fact that you aren't fit for nominating anything, and only capable of riding off the coat tails of your intellectual betters and biting the hand that feeds. For shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 26 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: What a boring, irrelevant, winding load of shite to try and justify the fact that you aren't fit for nominating anything, and only capable of riding off the coat tails of your intellectual betters and biting the hand that feeds. For shame. If anyone posts virtually anything, you and your trusted band of fart catchers immediately launch into them. You produce little of any consequence and I can only attribute this to the fact that you are past your sell-by date. You are redundant. You have run out of steam. You are past it. Devoid of originality. Just a pathetic old keyboard warrior. A troll. And ultimately, a total cunt. Fuck off and die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 1 minute ago, Manky said: If anyone posts virtually anything, you and your trusted band of fart catchers immediately launch into them. You produce little of any consequence and I can only attribute this to the fact that you are past your sell-by date. You are redundant. You have run out of steam. You are past it. Devoid of originality. Just a pathetic old keyboard warrior. A troll. And ultimately, a total cunt. Fuck off and die. Whereas you offer what manky? All inclusive, highly intellectual, topical and insightful debate? Cunts in glass bungalows as they say, shouldn't throw little pebbles out their pram. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 3, 2016 Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 Just now, Bill Stickers said: What a boring, irrelevant, winding load of shite to try and justify the fact that you aren't fit for nominating anything, and only capable of riding off the coat tails of your intellectual betters and biting the hand that feeds. For shame. In a case of Turkeys voting for Christmas, the cunt once had the audacity to nom this: http://www.cuntscorner.com/index.php?/forums/topic/59939-those-magnificently-cuntish-yanks/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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