England Cricket Cuntbreeds

[Jake The Muss]

On 11/23/2017 at 1:11 PM, The Beast said:

Agree. They haven't surrendered on day 1, far from it. All the Aussies have done is talk up their chances before this series. England will let their cricket do their talking.

They should of got more than 300 batting first to be fair, but considering all the negative talk, not a terrible start.

[applescruff14]

5 hours ago, Fender777 said:

They should of got more than 300 batting first to be fair, but considering all the negative talk, not a terrible start.

Its the same old story with England, missed catches galore and not able to break partnerships quick enough. I knew Smith would get a high score, still think they will have a first innings lead. They trail by 89 with 3 wickets remaining but Smith is still there and has nearly scored more than what Vince did, we have let them back into the game.

[applescruff14]

18 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Fucking hell Apple!

You been mixing anabolic steroids with the anti-depressants?

No, just want England to win.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 minute ago, applescruff14 said:

Its the same old story with England, missed catches galore and not able to break partnerships quick enough. I knew Smith would get a high score, still think they will have a first innings lead. They trail by 89 with 3 wickets remaining but Smith is still there and has nearly scored more than what Vince did, we have let them back into the game.

He hasn't scored that many runs today so England's bowling strategy has been on the mark. If they can keep him quiet, and skittle out the tail for less than 50 then it's a job well done*

*Just listened to Geoff Boycott on radio. 

[Jiggerycock]

Get a lead of 180 and we win this

Australia aren't all that

[Stubby Pecker]

1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

Get a lead of 180 and we win this

Australia aren't all that

I kind of agree. If we had stokes this would be the moment he'd take the game away from the Aussie shitcunts with a 150 partnership in a session. We need one guy to stand up and make a ton with the others supporting and the scoreboard pressure will be too much for the weak willed convicts, bar smith, although an ugly cunt with a stupid technique he's a class act. If we can get him cheap in both inns of the other tests we'll win easy.

its about time Bairstow and Mo got runs

[Jiggerycock]

We're 7 for 2 on a wearing pitch against a one-man (batting) team

[Jake The Muss]

9 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

Its the same old story with England, missed catches galore and not able to break partnerships quick enough. I knew Smith would get a high score, still think they will have a first innings lead. They trail by 89 with 3 wickets remaining but Smith is still there and has nearly scored more than what Vince did, we have let them back into the game.

A poor first innings score from England batting first, should make over 400 batting first to set up wins. I still think we have a chance, depends how we bat second innings.

[Jake The Muss]

9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He hasn't scored that many runs today so England's bowling strategy has been on the mark. If they can keep him quiet, and skittle out the tail for less than 50 then it's a job well done*

*Just listened to Geoff Boycott on radio. 

You cheat Gypsy, i thought that was your knowledgeable thoughts on this.

[Jake The Muss]

4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Get a lead of 180 and we win this

Australia aren't all that

That would certainly give us a slight chance, but apart from Smith, if Warner goes on one at the top of the order then that total will soon disappear. Need Warner out early as well.

[Jiggerycock]

36 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

That would certainly give us a slight chance, but apart from Smith, if Warner goes on one at the top of the order then that total will soon disappear. Need Warner out early as well.

Yeah - but he gets done wofting to midwicket too often and I think England have sussed him (like in the first innings). Khajawa's a walking 'gimmee' for Ali and the rest, apart from Smith (who is a total class act)? Okay, they're resilient and won't ever give up but the way people - especially the BBC - are talking down our chances is not squaring with the same matchI'm watching.

[Jake The Muss]

3 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I kind of agree. If we had stokes this would be the moment he'd take the game away from the Aussie shitcunts with a 150 partnership in a session. We need one guy to stand up and make a ton with the others supporting and the scoreboard pressure will be too much for the weak willed convicts, bar smith, although an ugly cunt with a stupid technique he's a class act. If we can get him cheap in both inns of the other tests we'll win easy.

its about time Bairstow and Mo got runs

Agreed Stubby, Stokes does leave a gap in the batting line-up, Root has to show some authority in the second innings and a nice ton from him wouldn't go a miss. Would set his tone for the rest of the series.

[Jake The Muss]

11 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Yeah - but he gets done wofting to midwicket too often and I think England have sussed him (like in the first innings). Khajawa's a walking 'gimmee' for Ali and the rest, apart from Smith (who is a total class act)? Okay, they're resilient and won't ever give up but the way people - especially the BBC - are talking down our chances is not squaring with the same matchI'm watching.

Here's looking forward to Wanker Warner Wofting another one.

[Jiggerycock]

21 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

Agreed Stubby, Stokes does leave a gap in the batting line-up, Root has to show some authority in the second innings and a nice ton from him wouldn't go a miss. Would set his tone for the rest of the series.

Yeah - I think Cook is a busted flush now (relieving him of the captaincy has had the opposite effect to that intended on his batting) so with the one Australian headline act steping up in their first innings, maybe ourcan do likewise in our second knock.

Stokes is fucking huge miss though. Would love to see Bairstow played up the order as a specialist batsman (at three in stead of the 'hit and miss' Vince) and Foakes (who's a bloody decent batsman) coming in at 7, but all else being equal, would love Stokes to be striding out at 6 or 7!

[applescruff14]

13 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Yeah - I think Cook is a busted flush now (relieving him of the captaincy has had the opposite effect to that intended on his batting) so with the one Australian headline act steping up in their first innings, maybe ourcan do likewise in our second knock.

Stokes is fucking huge miss though. Would love to see Bairstow played up the order as a specialist batsman (at three in stead of the 'hit and miss' Vince) and Foakes (who's a bloody decent batsman) coming in at 7, but all else being equal, would love Stokes to be striding out at 6 or 7!

This is a cuntfest,  130/6 technically. 

[applescruff14]

19 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Get a lead of 180 and we win this

Australia aren't all that

We won't win, we are shit and Australia keep coming. 

[applescruff14]

14 hours ago, Fender777 said:

Agreed Stubby, Stokes does leave a gap in the batting line-up, Root has to show some authority in the second innings and a nice ton from him wouldn't go a miss. Would set his tone for the rest of the series.

That was a good patient 51 from from but the game is lost. They cheated anyway. 

[applescruff14]

16 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Yeah - I think Cook is a busted flush now (relieving him of the captaincy has had the opposite effect to that intended on his batting) so with the one Australian headline act steping up in their first innings, maybe ourcan do likewise in our second knock.

Stokes is fucking huge miss though. Would love to see Bairstow played up the order as a specialist batsman (at three in stead of the 'hit and miss' Vince) and Foakes (who's a bloody decent batsman) coming in at 7, but all else being equal, would love Stokes to be striding out at 6 or 7!

That Broad decision from upstairs was a farce, not out and Ali wasn't out either, cheating biased bastards. 

[southerncunt]

They are an international mixed bag, the review umpires, scruff.

I can see why you lot wouldn't like Warner, but you cant argue with results. Its the same reason we hate that arrogant toffee nosed cunt Broad, although he has toned down the cunt behaviour a bit this series. Root is showing good crafty leadership. A good close ashes series would be a great thing for cricket, I love the long game, and I don't know what its like over there for up and coming players, but over here all the young blokes strive for the baggy green. Thats great for test cricket.

[Jiggerycock]

Competed for three and a half days, unfortunately it's a five day game.

Australia with their tails up are going to be harder still than Australia with parity.

I still maintain that neither side is particularly great and both are capable of a shocking session or two. Stokes is an obvious huge miss for us but at least some of the 'who are they then?' players have put a marker down. Could do with Cook coming to the party and us getting more overs into either Ball or Overton.

[Last Cunt Standing]

Things to remember on this crisp Autumn Sunday morning;

1) we hold the urn; a drawn series means they still come home with Root.

2) The Gabba is not for us ; the convicts haven’t lost there since 1988. The d/n at the Adelaide and the shiny track of the WACA might be a bit more receptive to the Jimmy and Stu show.

3) Cook will get big runs. Eventually. 

4) Avon and Somerset Police can come to the rescue yet and get The Ginger Ninja on a plane.

so do not despair... they aren’t Ponting/Warne/McGrath any more. Starc is a streaky cunt. Cummins’ bowling is as ugly as him. 

quick Q for Southern; why was Brisbane half empty today? Everyone at bloody church?

[southerncunt]

42 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Things to remember on this crisp Autumn Sunday morning;

1) we hold the urn; a drawn series means they still come home with Root.

2) The Gabba is not for us ; the convicts haven’t lost there since 1988. The d/n at the Adelaide and the shiny track of the WACA might be a bit more receptive to the Jimmy and Stu show.

3) Cook will get big runs. Eventually. 

4) Avon and Somerset Police can come to the rescue yet and get The Ginger Ninja on a plane.

so do not despair... they aren’t Ponting/Warne/McGrath any more. Starc is a streaky cunt. Cummins’ bowling is as ugly as him. 

quick Q for Southern; why was Brisbane half empty today? Everyone at bloody church?

Brisbane was half empty because they are Queenslanders and they are fucked in the head. And bored.

[camberwell gypsy]

3 hours ago, southerncunt said:

Brisbane was half empty because they are Queenslanders and they are fucked in the head. And bored.

Didn't a lot of them fuck off early to watch the rugby ?

[Earl of Punkape]

13 hours ago, southerncunt said:

They are an international mixed bag, the review umpires, scruff.

I can see why you lot wouldn't like Warner, but you cant argue with results. Its the same reason we hate that arrogant toffee nosed cunt Broad, although he has toned down the cunt behaviour a bit this series. Root is showing good crafty leadership. A good close ashes series would be a great thing for cricket, I love the long game, and I don't know what its like over there for up and coming players, but over here all the young blokes strive for the baggy green. Thats great for test cricket.

We lost the first test.

You fucking convict, Skippy buggering cunt.

[applescruff14]

14 hours ago, southerncunt said:

They are an international mixed bag, the review umpires, scruff.

I can see why you lot wouldn't like Warner, but you cant argue with results. Its the same reason we hate that arrogant toffee nosed cunt Broad, although he has toned down the cunt behaviour a bit this series. Root is showing good crafty leadership. A good close ashes series would be a great thing for cricket, I love the long game, and I don't know what its like over there for up and coming players, but over here all the young blokes strive for the baggy green. Thats great for test cricket.

14 hours ago, southerncunt said:

They are an international mixed bag, the review umpires, scruff.

I can see why you lot wouldn't like Warner, but you cant argue with results. Its the same reason we hate that arrogant toffee nosed cunt Broad, although he has toned down the cunt behaviour a bit this series. Root is showing good crafty leadership. A good close ashes series would be a great thing for cricket, I love the long game, and I don't know what its like over there for up and coming players, but over here all the young blokes strive for the baggy green. Thats great for test cricket.

Sorry, you guys cheated. Ali wasn't out and neither was Broad, its a farce. Enjoy your Urn that you've cheated to win.