England Cricket Cuntbreeds

[applescruff14]

9 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

As long as there is a company, there will be a do.  The question is will you still be with the company and will you be welcome.  As for pissing a few yards from your car, you should probaboy be thankful it wasn't done ON your car.  

I hope so but I doubt the job will be as I know it now. The bloke was absolutely sozzled, I don't drink alcohol, I'm more caffeine myself. I cant go down the alcohol road as I drive.

[applescruff14]

9 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Ponting was spot on with his comments. Roots cheeky chappie routine is all well and good when we're hammering sides at home but he looks fucking clueless when in a full on battle looking down a 5 nil arse fucking. We need some hard men who instead of a gay head but, smashes their teeth down their throat. On the point of Bancroft the wank stain had fucked off to Somerset from my beloved glos, where he did fuck all. See 1000 runs before June along the line of one of our overseas greats Kane Williamson, who was utter shite for the shire, not look at the cunt.  

Spot on about Victoria.

I totally agree with Ponting, he is spot on. Root is a useless captain and hasn't got a clue. Putting him as captain was admitting defeat in the Ashes before a ball was bowled. Australia will win all five tests and win the next series in England. The Ashes are going to be like they were before where Australia dominate every test. I'd never heard of Bancroft before this series which I guess isn't a bad thing.

Never been but flew over it when I went from Sydney to Perth, I remember that flight well, the Pilot was some kind of nutcase.

 

[applescruff14]

On ‎21‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 7:01 PM, nocti said:

Comparing his Christmas do to ours would be like comparing... I don't know. If only there was a suitable analogy.

Rolf Harris to Rembrandt

Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln

[Guest Snatch]

On 12/21/2017 at 8:01 PM, nocti said:

Comparing his Christmas do to ours would be like comparing... I don't know. If only there was a suitable analogy.

Applescruff to someone with a life.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

11 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

I hope so but I doubt the job will be as I know it now. The bloke was absolutely sozzled, I don't drink alcohol, I'm more caffeine myself. I cant go down the alcohol road as I drive.

I do limit my alcohol intake if I have to do any driving.  I rarely ever get pissed, usually if the in-laws are going to be turning up, I'll imbibe.  I enjoy watching drunks falling down, hurting themselves, or crashing their cars into trees and killing themselves.  Good times!  

[Jake The Muss]

On 12/23/2017 at 5:18 AM, applescruff14 said:

You could say that, I keep seeing that woman's face in my mind. I was never really interested anyway, just humouring her. It's good as I havn't seen her since. Comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.

Treat yourself to a brass for Christmas, you need to get your dick wet.

[applescruff14]

14 hours ago, Snatch said:

Applescruff to someone with a life.

Hail Sir Ringo. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

Root on the Radio this morning saying Pontings’ remarks were “a load of rubbish”. He almost squeaked. No attempt to deconstruct the analysis, to reflect back his own appraisal of his performance, or to provide insight into what he will be doing differently at the MCG. Mike Brearley he is not. 

I suspect even in the face of a 5-0, the ECB will stick with Root, partly as no one else wants the job. Bit like Theresa May in that respect. It’s a mistake for Root personally to stay on though in my view, and he’d get respect if come January he announced the job was too big for him and he would in future focus on his batting. 

Merry Christmas Cricket Cunts. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

The only thing to be out in Melbourne today is the Sun.

Root’s face when he lost the toss was reminiscent of a toddler filling his nappy. 

Ten quid says they make five hundred plus. 

[applescruff14]

5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

The only thing to be out in Melbourne today is the Sun.

Root’s face when he lost the toss was reminiscent of a toddler filling his nappy. 

Ten quid says they make five hundred plus. 

Smith is on course for a century. Look on the bright side, we can win the coin toss either 2-3 or 1-4.

I think Anderson is level with Courtney Walsh on wickets, if he can go a few more years he could overtake McGrath. 

Wouldn't have made any difference who won the toss as Australia will win anyway. 

[applescruff14]

22 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Root on the Radio this morning saying Pontings’ remarks were “a load of rubbish”. He almost squeaked. No attempt to deconstruct the analysis, to reflect back his own appraisal of his performance, or to provide insight into what he will be doing differently at the MCG. Mike Brearley he is not. 

I suspect even in the face of a 5-0, the ECB will stick with Root, partly as no one else wants the job. Bit like Theresa May in that respect. It’s a mistake for Root personally to stay on though in my view, and he’d get respect if come January he announced the job was too big for him and he would in future focus on his batting. 

Merry Christmas Cricket Cunts. 

He should never have got the job, my heart sunk when he got it. 

I totally agree with Pointing, not often I go Aussie over English but he's spot on. 

5-0 Australia 🇦🇺 

[southerncunt]

On 24/12/2017 at 3:13 AM, Last Cunt Standing said:

I must disagree, Scruff. Victoria is beautiful, Melbourne the best Australian city, and the MCG when full is a sight to behold. 

I see Ponting has been playing the traditional Aussie game of bait the Captain with an honest appraisal of Roots’ captaincy, and straight into the psychological bear-trap walks one Jonny Bairstow. I give up on these cunts. Put Alex Ferguson or Dr Steve Peters in charge for fucks sake, or even Bernard and Jonno of Salford City FC. 

I tried to post a photo of Melbourne today, my backyard in particular, but the file was too big and I am too stupid to work out how to downsize it. Anyway, it’s 30 degrees, full sun and just enough breeze to be nice. Melbourne can be a cunt of a place, but when it turns it on.....

I agree, the MCG when heaving with people is a phenomenal experience. The place just breathes. I am taking my son and a few mates tomorrow. The SCG is prettier, but the ‘G is the spiritual home of cricket in the Southern Hemisphere. Only Lord’s could match it for pure sense of occasion. 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

2 hours ago, southerncunt said:

I tried to post a photo of Melbourne today, my backyard in particular,

Melbourne

[applescruff14]

2 hours ago, southerncunt said:

I tried to post a photo of Melbourne today, my backyard in particular, but the file was too big and I am too stupid to work out how to downsize it. Anyway, it’s 30 degrees, full sun and just enough breeze to be nice. Melbourne can be a cunt of a place, but when it turns it on.....

I agree, the MCG when heaving with people is a phenomenal experience. The place just breathes. I am taking my son and a few mates tomorrow. The SCG is prettier, but the ‘G is the spiritual home of cricket in the Southern Hemisphere. Only Lord’s could match it for pure sense of occasion. 

You can get photo programs that do all that. I use one called Photoscape, you can download it free. 

Australia are on course to win this test already. 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

5 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

You can get photo programs that do all that. I use one called Photoscape, you can download it free. 

Australia are on course to win this test already. 

picasa will also do it.

[Rick_B]

8 hours ago, southerncunt said:

I tried to post a photo of Melbourne today, my backyard in particular, but the file was too big and I am too stupid to work out how to downsize it. Anyway, it’s 30 degrees, full sun and just enough breeze to be nice. Melbourne can be a cunt of a place, but when it turns it on.....

I agree, the MCG when heaving with people is a phenomenal experience. The place just breathes. I am taking my son and a few mates tomorrow. The SCG is prettier, but the ‘G is the spiritual home of cricket in the Southern Hemisphere. Only Lord’s could match it for pure sense of occasion. 

http://www.shrinkpictures.com/

[applescruff14]

22 hours ago, southerncunt said:

I tried to post a photo of Melbourne today, my backyard in particular, but the file was too big and I am too stupid to work out how to downsize it. Anyway, it’s 30 degrees, full sun and just enough breeze to be nice. Melbourne can be a cunt of a place, but when it turns it on.....

I agree, the MCG when heaving with people is a phenomenal experience. The place just breathes. I am taking my son and a few mates tomorrow. The SCG is prettier, but the ‘G is the spiritual home of cricket in the Southern Hemisphere. Only Lord’s could match it for pure sense of occasion. 

Australia will set England at least 450 to win this test. Apparently Vince left the crease when he shouldn't have done, plonker. 

[applescruff14]

On 25/12/2017 at 11:35 PM, Last Cunt Standing said:

The only thing to be out in Melbourne today is the Sun.

Root’s face when he lost the toss was reminiscent of a toddler filling his nappy. 

Ten quid says they make five hundred plus. 

The England players were saying they were going to treat these two tests like a mini series. 

A mini series that Australia will win 2-0.

I do agree with Stoneman that Australia are no better than what we are and someone also said that Australia are vulnerable beyond their first choice bowling attack which is also true. 

[southerncunt]

34 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

The England players were saying they were going to treat these two tests like a mini series. 

A mini series that Australia will win 2-0.

I do agree with Stoneman that Australia are no better than what we are and someone also said that Australia are vulnerable beyond their first choice bowling attack which is also true. 

I was there today, and England had a good day. Shame it is a dead rubber

[applescruff14]

13 hours ago, southerncunt said:

I was there today, and England had a good day. Shame it is a dead rubber

England will collapse in the first session, won't even get what Australia got. 

[Stubby Pecker]

On 26 December 2017 at 6:42 AM, southerncunt said:

I tried to post a photo of Melbourne today, my backyard in particular, but the file was too big and I am too stupid to work out how to downsize it. Anyway, it’s 30 degrees, full sun and just enough breeze to be nice. Melbourne can be a cunt of a place, but when it turns it on.....

I agree, the MCG when heaving with people is a phenomenal experience. The place just breathes. I am taking my son and a few mates tomorrow. The SCG is prettier, but the ‘G is the spiritual home of cricket in the Southern Hemisphere. Only Lord’s could match it for pure sense of occasion. 

I saw Damian Martyn make a test ton there, Lara bat like a cunt in a one dayer in one of warnies comeback games and some mulleted apes with stupidly nut hugging shorts play some kind of cross between rugby and girls netball

[applescruff14]

Well done Alastair Cook

[Last Cunt Standing]

4 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

Well done Alastair Cook

Any double ton is worth a doff of the cap. But his form has still been awful for far too long, and there’s an after-the-Lord-Mayors-show feel to this now. As I said before The Aussies will win an early knockout, before England traditionally rally in the dead rubber games, thus avoiding a media beasting and the sack on their return, because they only just edged it 3-2 (though still feel a draw is likely). It’s an old story. The Aussies have taken their foot off the gas, and the MCG pitch is a featherbed. 

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

One wicket to go, when Anderson goes for his usual duck it will save Root from a "sporting declaration" as it backfired on him against the West Indies.

[Stubby Pecker]

Fuck!

If only these wankers had done it on the flat deck at the Gabba, cunts!