Guest Ollyboro Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 I've just turned the telly on to be informed, by a blonde woman with a mic, that the ex-swimmer cunt she was interviewing had "....spent 20 years as a swimmer IN THE WATER!" Despite gasping with incredulity at the sheer stupidity of the woman, I managed to switch channels. Fuck me, if it wasn't a repeat of the opening ceremony. The first thing I see is a bunch of cunts climbing a wall. The cunt commentator suspected that this was a nod to something called "Sports Climbing" becoming an Olympic sport, in 2024. Team GB should piss that by dredging Liverpool for talent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Apparently the water there is so polluted locals in the know have been advising sailing and boating competitors "don't go under". One local said he saw a dead horse float by. Marvellous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 21 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I reckon we will piss the Shooting. That is if they have adopted my suggestion of holding it on the local Tube system and have the Met firearms team competing for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Big day for me tomorrow. It's the start of the Women's Beach Volleyball, when I'll be going for a personal best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 I saw a man walking through Rio with a long pole over his shoulder. I said "Are you a Pole Vaulter?". He said, "Yes, I am Polish, but how did you know my name is Walter?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 49 minutes ago, Manky said: I reckon we will piss the Shooting. That is if they have adopted my suggestion of holding it on the local Tube system and have the Met firearms team competing for us. Fuck the Met Police! There's nothing I like better than pumping several rounds from the old love-musket into some poor unsuspecting Brazilian. .......I've got hold of the wrong end of the stick again, haven't I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 48 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: Big day for me tomorrow. It's the start of the Women's Beach Volleyball, when I'll be going for a personal best. Very true, olly. Last time round I watched Sweden v Brazil. There was a wrist injury within 5 minutes, but I was alright by Wednesday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 41 minutes ago, scotty said: Very true, olly. Last time round I watched Sweden v Brazil. There was a wrist injury within 5 minutes, but I was alright by Wednesday. I was in the form of my life for that game, Scotty. I managed several spikes, before bringing myself off early doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 instead of showing the opening ceremony they should have showed the rioters clashing with the police. It would have been more entertaining. Probably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 1 hour ago, scotty said: Very true, olly. Last time round I watched Sweden v Brazil. There was a wrist injury within 5 minutes, but I was alright by Wednesday. Finland have been represented at beach volleyball by identical twins Emilia and Erika Nystrom. First you see double, then you go blind. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 I think they should introduce torturing politicians as an olympic sport..i would enter every category and bring home a shit load of gold medals for team GB.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 16 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Finland have been represented at beach volleyball by identical twins Emilia and Erika Nystrom. First you see double, then you go blind. Don't be fooled Bawsy. Look at their hands,they're giving it the Gangsta gun thing there. They'll be saying Yo and Homie and using the N word on the beach before the weeks out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 5 minutes ago, Snatch said: Don't be fooled Bawsy. Look at their hands,they're giving it the Gangsta gun thing there. They'll be saying Yo and Homie and using the N word on the beach before the weeks out. Snatch, they can pop a cap in my ass any time. Word! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 4 hours ago, Ollyboro said: Big day for me tomorrow. It's the start of the Women's Beach Volleyball, when I'll be going for a personal best. You wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 I see they have a refugee team as well. I expect they will be good at the swimming events, and pole vault. They should have allowed ISIS to have a team too. Exploding rucksacks on the end of a javelin would have been great to watch. The IOC missed a trick there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 22 minutes ago, Degenerategambler said: I see they have a refugee team as well. I expect they will be good at the swimming events, and pole vault. What flag will they use. Perhaps it should be that ISIS snot rag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 33 minutes ago, Degenerategambler said: I see they have a refugee team as well. I expect they will be good at the swimming events, and pole vault. Not sure about the rowing events though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Finland have been represented at beach volleyball by identical twins Emilia and Erika Nystrom. First you see double, then you go blind. Beach volleyball...one of the better examples of pure sporting competition. It's the love of the game played by those for whom it was invented, the fittest athletes in proper kit. The opening ceremony was quite camp in comparison to four years ago, but I don't watch for the poncey, poofy pageantry, I watch for the selection of sport with the worlds best athletes competing. It's a welcome change from the usual shit we are given as entertainment. Ill see how I feel at the end of it all. I might end up begging for the return of corrupt politics, greedy fucking bastard bankers, and the ongoing intake of Johnny fucking foreigner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 14 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Not sure about the rowing events though... They'd be good at rowing with German neo-Nazi's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Finland have been represented at beach volleyball by identical twins Emilia and Erika Nystrom. First you see double, then you go blind. I can't believe no-one has mentioned that Audi needing a good servicing ... or that Nokia needs plugging in... .. fucking slacking the lot of you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 5 hours ago, Ollyboro said: Big day for me tomorrow. It's the start of the Women's Beach Volleyball, when I'll be going for a personal best. Will you watch it for 10 minutes and then have a ciggy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 47 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Not sure about the rowing events though... They should dominate the sailing events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 Apparently, Adam Yates has got a bright green helmet. He should see a doctor about that. Bdum tssh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 I hope the Brazilians don't win any medals,they'll never get the ribbon over their fucking heads! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted August 6, 2016 Report Share Posted August 6, 2016 5 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Finland have been represented at beach volleyball by identical twins Emilia and Erika Nystrom. First you see double, then you go blind. Jesus Christ! In the highly unlikely event that I ever had a crack at those two, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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