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Crisp eating sloth cunts.


Guest Extremecunt

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Guest Extremecunt

I'm sorry to say that my mom and missus falls into this species of cunt. During an awesome episode of wind in the willows, I have cunts that spend 30 mins trying to open a packet of crisps, 30 mins trying to eat the cunts and 45 mins crinkling up the packet and throwing it away.

I'm sure they do this on purpose lol.

 

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I was in a pub years ago when a bearded bastard walked in with two huge fuck off bloodhounds of some sort. The fucker decided to purchase a bag of crisps with his beer. As he sat there scoffing the crisps, the two dogs sat there watching him and started drooling. By the time he finished, each dog had a pair of white foamy drool strings hanging from their mouths. Then at precisely the same time shook their heads vigorously, sending the drool spraying all over the place. Up the walls, ceiling and over some poor cunt on the next table tucking into a steak and ale pie.  Fucking hilarious 

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1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I used to make Nesquick sarnies when I were a kid. Banana powder between two slices of mothers pride. Until fucking social services raided our caravan site. 

Sugar, butter, and bread. I don't know how I don't have diabetes today but I was a strange child. I used to drink undiluted orange squash and headbutt things alot, too.

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2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Sugar, butter, and bread. I don't know how I don't have diabetes today but I was a strange child. I used to drink undiluted orange squash and headbutt things alot, too.

When you think of the shit we used to eat, it's a miracle any of us are still alive. And the cuts and scrapes whilst playing out that should have caused tetanus, sepsis and gangrene on a daily basis. Are we the first generation to live longer than our fat, myopic, allergy ridden kids?

Now we have millions of child health experts and the little fuckers are getting fatter, weaker and more fucking useless by the day. My solution. Shoot all the fucking experts, feed the kids crap and drop them 20ft (6.28m) through tree branches and face down onto dog shit covered gravel, twice weekly.

Voilà. Dr. Manky, saviour of children's health.

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5 minutes ago, Manky said:

When you think of the shit we used to eat, it's a miracle any of us are still alive. And the cuts and scrapes whilst playing out that should have caused tetanus, sepsis and gangrene on a daily basis. Are we the first generation to live longer than our fat, myopic, allergy ridden kids?

Now we have millions of child health experts and the little fuckers are getting fatter, weaker and more fucking useless by the day. My solution. Shoot all the fucking experts, feed the kids crap and drop them 20ft (6.28m) through tree branches and face down onto dog shit covered gravel, twice weekly.

Voilà. Dr. Manky, saviour of children's health.

Drop them through a corrugated roof would be better 

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1 minute ago, Manky said:

When you think of the shit we used to eat, it's a miracle any of us are still alive. And the cuts and scrapes whilst playing out that should have caused tetanus, sepsis and gangrene on a daily basis. Are we the first generation to live longer than our fat, myopic, allergy ridden kids?

Now we have millions of child health experts and the little fuckers are getting fatter, weaker and more fucking useless by the day. My solution. Shoot all the fucking experts, feed the kids crap and drop them 20ft (6.28m) through tree branches and face down onto dog shit covered gravel, twice weekly.

Voilà. Dr. Manky, saviour of children's health.

I nicked that like from one of Quincy's posts, so it's extra special :)

It's because they all sit inside on Nintendo or playing the Minecrafts these days and have weak immune systems as a result. The flipside is they all get mobile phones at 5, so give it a couple years and they'll all be victims of brain tumours or muggings. They should all be sent to real-life mines seeing as they're such fucking experts these days.

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1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Drop them through a corrugated roof would be better 

Done that as well. Bitten by rabid dogs. Drank pure sewer water. Got 90% burns in grass fires. Wore my scars with pride.

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6 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I used to make Nesquick sarnies when I were a kid. Banana powder between two slices of mothers pride. Until fucking social services raided our caravan site. 

Untrue. Social services dont go anywhere near you cunts.

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Guest DingTheRioja
On 21/11/2016 at 1:37 PM, Roadkill said:

Sugar, butter, and bread. I don't know how I don't have diabetes today but I was a strange child. I used to drink undiluted orange squash and headbutt things alot, too.

I fuckng loved undiluted orange squash, but not that Robinsons shit, that tasted like flour.

On 21/11/2016 at 3:55 PM, Manky said:

When you think of the shit we used to eat, it's a miracle any of us are still alive. And the cuts and scrapes whilst playing out that should have caused tetanus, sepsis and gangrene on a daily basis. Are we the first generation to live longer than our fat, myopic, allergy ridden kids?

Now we have millions of child health experts and the little fuckers are getting fatter, weaker and more fucking useless by the day. My solution. Shoot all the fucking experts, feed the kids crap and drop them 20ft (6.28m) through tree branches and face down onto dog shit covered gravel, twice weekly.

Voilà. Dr. Manky, saviour of children's health.

I am a full on walking scar tissue sample ...

possible_injuries.gif

On 21/11/2016 at 4:01 PM, camberwell gypsy said:

Drop them through a corrugated roof would be better 

Done that. Rusty one.

On 21/11/2016 at 4:07 PM, Roadkill said:


Aye, one of those crusty asbestos ones that would shatter like slate and give you some gnarly infected cuts to show your mates afterwards.

 

And that.

 

Nothing at all to do with the undiluted orange, sherbert dibdabs, wham bars and a trying to impress an older brother and his mates...

I was, however, the local go-to idiot for new BMX stunts... most of which I could pull off...

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24 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

The crisp mongs, fuck me can't these cuntbreeds get it over and done with quickly, i once took a packet of crisps off a mate and threw them in the bin because the daft cunt was taking a lifetime to eat the fuckers, was putting me off debbie does dallas so they had to go.

Lets not forget the other type of crisp mong Fender? A Downs Syndromer who's got burned to death. I mean, even you'd take your time eating that fucker

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On 21 November 2016 at 3:55 PM, Manky said:

When you think of the shit we used to eat, it's a miracle any of us are still alive. And the cuts and scrapes whilst playing out that should have caused tetanus, sepsis and gangrene on a daily basis. Are we the first generation to live longer than our fat, myopic, allergy ridden kids?

Now we have millions of child health experts and the little fuckers are getting fatter, weaker and more fucking useless by the day. My solution. Shoot all the fucking experts, feed the kids crap and drop them 20ft (6.28m) through tree branches and face down onto dog shit covered gravel, twice weekly.

Voilà. Dr. Manky, saviour of children's health.

When we were kids we used to breathe in copious amounts of exhaust fumes containing vaporised lead residue. "Experts claimed that this contributed to reduced brain function, lower IQ etc'. As a result of said experts findings, for the last 20 years or so the lead has been eliminated from the atmosphere. Why then is it now virtually impossible to find a 14 year old capable of naming four capital cities of the world or performing simple numerical feats without resorting to the calculator facility on their phone? Maybe it's simply because we had a better education system and didn't spend 16 hrs a day wiping out cartoon aliens on a fucking X Box, and fuck all to do with 4 star petrol.

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