Emergency meeting at Buck House.

[Stubby Pecker]

All tigers, wildlife in general and dusky skinned chaps are breathing a sigh of relief this old cunt has hung up the hunting rifles. Hopefully he'll do what the prince of Nepal did and gun down the other inbreed, swan eating fuckers before he pegs it.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

8 minutes ago, Snatch said:

I'm not doubting what he did during the war, credit where credits due. What pisses me off is these "royal experts" in the TV that kiss arse and seem to think he won the war on his own.

Meabwhile the old man that lives on his own gets mugged by some young cunts for his pension money and its just a statistic. 

I didn't know about his war record until today when one of his war mates, a lowly rating phoned into LBC. The bloke had served with him during the Sicily offensive saying he only got out of there alive because he had extremely competent commanding officer. I bet if you asked the poor old cunt that got mugged for his pension money what his opinion was on the Duke of Edinburgh it would be that of utter respect. They both served in the same military and both went their own separate ways after the hostilities had ceased. The one that couldn't wait to get out of uniform married Doris from Clapham, the other one who wanted to stay on to kick some more arse ended up marrying some posh totty called Bet.

 

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Punkape said:

Phil's gaffes......my favourite.

1995: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test." To a Scottish driving instructor.

Fair point well made 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

43 minutes ago, Gong Farmer said:

I didn't know about his war record until today when one of his war mates, a lowly rating phoned into LBC. The bloke had served with him during the Sicily offensive saying he only got out of there alive because he had extremely competent commanding officer. I bet if you asked the poor old cunt that got mugged for his pension money what his opinion was on the Duke of Edinburgh it would be that of utter respect. They both served in the same military and both went their own separate ways after the hostilities had ceased. The one that couldn't wait to get out of uniform married Doris from Clapham, the other one who wanted to stay on to kick some more arse ended up marrying some posh totty called Bet.

 

If nothing else, as with like the Queen Mother, the Royals seem to boost this country's morale at certain times for many. Personally, I can take them or leave them and despite the fact that they all piss me off, this country is seen as being better off for them, to the proper outside far away world, of which we are not a part of.  

[Guest 'eavensabove]

I 'spose that Prince Flip could be worth something, on the open market. He could even be worth swapping for an Emperor for example or as a lookalike for the F.A. Cup... He's got weird ears to me, and I don't like this defect upon any pedigree.   

[Cap'n Cunt]

5 hours ago, Roadkill said:

I like the old bastard. At least he speaks his mind, unlike most snivelling do-gooders in the public eye today.

Yeah, but bear in mind, he fucks the Queen. Not any old queen, but Her Royal Highness, who is like the boss of you and everything you own. She probably has to gag on his wizened Greek cock before he gives her one up the scuttle, then spurts his Mediterranean jism all over her regal tits. If he was Nigerian and doing all that shit to your monarch, I bet you wouldn't fucking like him then. 

[Stubby Pecker]

5 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Yeah, but bear in mind, he fucks the Queen. Not any old queen, but Her Royal Highness, who is like the boss of you and everything you own. She probably has to gag on his wizened Greek cock before he gives her one up the scuttle, then spurts his Mediterranean jism all over her regal tits. If he was Nigerian and doing all that shit to your monarch, I bet you wouldn't fucking like him then. 

Funniest thing on the corner for a least 3 months

Bravo skipper

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Yeah, but bear in mind, he fucks the Queen. Not any old queen, but Her Royal Highness, who is like the boss of you and everything you own. She probably has to gag on his wizened Greek cock before he gives her one up the scuttle, then spurts his Mediterranean jism all over her regal tits. If he was Nigerian and doing all that shit to your monarch, I bet you wouldn't fucking like him then. 

It must be a bit of an ordeal for the poor old sod though, she's not as fit as she looks on the stamps.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

27 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It must be a bit of an ordeal for the poor old sod though, she's not as fit as she looks on the stamps.

She isn't as flat as she is on the stamps either.

[Guest nobgobbler]

4 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

If nothing else, as with like the Queen Mother, the Royals seem to boost this country's morale at certain times for many. Personally, I can take them or leave them and despite the fact that they all piss me off, this country is seen as being better off for them, to the proper outside far away world, of which we are not a part of.  

We'll soon see how much better off we are when we're forking out for two fancy funerals in the near future. Hopefully they'll do the right thing and leave this mortal coil in a suicide pact so we can get a buy one get one free deal with the co-op.

[PANZER MURPHY]

Insomnia nobs?

Panzerknacker 

[Guest nobgobbler]

5 hours ago, Snatch said:

Frank? 

You could be on to something snatch. They are both greasy Greek cunts after all.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

20 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

The Telegraph has  reported this morning  that Liz has called an emergency meeting of her entire staff including those from Balmoral. They say it is very serious. I am not one to speculate, but could it be his Duckship Phil the Greek on his way out? One of her corgis has shit in the fireplace? Has Punkape choked to death on a fish bone at her dining table?

Punky probably buggered said Corgi which gaped the poor dog into shitting in the fireplace.  

[Guest DingTheRioja]

 

11 hours ago, Gong Farmer said:

Well said. By all accounts he survived the war by the skin of his teeth. He purposely put himself in danger needlessly as is expected of all good officers. In one account he ran towards the enemy with nothing but a rifle and a small band of naval ratings when the whole of the US infantry were running away, Sicily 1943. 

To be fair, that could be said of any British Officer when the yanks were around...

11 hours ago, Punkape said:

Phil's gaffes......

Spoiler

 

1966: "British women can't cook".

1969: "What do you gargle with, pebbles?" To Sir Tom Jones after a Royal Variety Performance.

1981: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." During the 1981 recession.

1984: "You are a woman, aren't you?" In Kenya after accepting a small gift from a local woman.

1986: "If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed." To a group of British students during a royal visit to China.

1988: "It looks like a tart's bedroom." On seeing plans for the Duke and Duchess of York's house at Sunninghill Park.

1992: "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." In Australia when asked to stroke a koala.

1993: "You can't have been here that long, you haven't got a pot belly". To a Briton he met in Hungary.

1994: "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" To a wealthy islander in the Cayman Islands.

1995: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test." To a Scottish driving instructor.

1996: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" In response to calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting.

1997: "Bloody silly fool!" Referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who did not recognise him.

1999: "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." Speaking to a group of young deaf people in Cardiff who were standing near a steel band.

1999: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." Referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh.

2001: "You're too fat to be an astronaut." To 13-year-old Andrew Adams who told Prince Philip he wanted to go into space. 

2002: "Still throwing spears?" Question put to an Australian Aborigine during a visit.

Image copyrightPA

2002: "You look like a suicide bomber." To a young policewoman wearing a bullet-proof vest on Stornoway, Isle of Lewis.

2009: "There's a lot of your family in tonight." After looking at the name badge of businessman Atul Patel at a Palace reception for British Indians.

2009: "Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?" To designer Stephen Judge about his tiny goatee beard.

2010: "Do you have a pair of knickers made out of this?" To Scottish Conservative leader Annabel Goldie Pointing while pointing to some tartan in Edinburgh.

2010: "Do you work in a strip club?" To 24-year-old Barnstaple Sea Cadet Elizabeth Rendle when she told him she also worked in a nightclub.

2012: "I would get arrested if I unzipped that dress." To 25-year-old council worker Hannah Jackson, who was wearing a dress with a zip running the length of its front, on a Jubilee visit to Bromley, Kent.

2013: "The Philippines must be half empty as you're all here running the NHS." On meeting a Filipino nurse at Luton and Dunstable Hospital.

2013: "[Children] go to school because their parents don't want them in the house." To Malala Yousafzai, who survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban and now campaigns for the right of girls to go to school without fear.

2017: "You look starved." To a pensioner on a visit to the Charterhouse almshouse for elderly men.

 

 

I think 95% of those are actually accurate, not necessarily PC, but certainly on the money.

11 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

He is obliged too. As are also all other members of the Royal Household. Charles could have a go in his youth. He was also well trained. History recalls that most Kings of a Realm fought beside or at the head of their troops, and so it should be today. Harry, tarting about with a group of mentalists is hardly what I'd call a prince's duty. He should be on the front line of Syria. He may have the body of a feeble woman, but his heart beats like a muppet. 

Harry did do Afghanistan, and Andrew flew in the Falklands despite the Govt trying their best to remove him from line of fire.

8 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Yeah, but bear in mind, he fucks the Queen. Not any old queen, but Her Royal Highness, who is like the boss of you and everything you own. She probably has to gag on his wizened Greek cock before he gives her one up the scuttle, then spurts his Mediterranean jism all over her regal tits. If he was Nigerian and doing all that shit to your monarch, I bet you wouldn't fucking like him then. 

Queenie was quite hot at one point, somewhere around her 20s she was pretty fit

[Roadkill]

13 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Yeah, but bear in mind, he fucks the Queen. Not any old queen, but Her Royal Highness, who is like the boss of you and everything you own. She probably has to gag on his wizened Greek cock before he gives her one up the scuttle, then spurts his Mediterranean jism all over her regal tits. If he was Nigerian and doing all that shit to your monarch, I bet you wouldn't fucking like him then. 

Well someone has to do it, I guess. As long as he isn't jizzing on my tits I don't care what he does with his royal sceptre.

[Cap'n Cunt]

16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It must be a bit of an ordeal for the poor old sod though, she's not as fit as she looks on the stamps.

Back in the days when you had to lick stamps,  the adhesive was made from Royal Fanny Batter. My grandad used to harvest it from HRH and Princess Anne every morning, mix it with some of his 'special substance' and take it to the stamp factory. He did try to harvest the Queen Mother once or twice, but her minge butter was a bit too crusty. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

43 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Back in the days when you had to lick stamps,  the adhesive was made from Royal Fanny Batter. My grandad used to harvest it from HRH and Princess Anne every morning, mix it with some of his 'special substance' and take it to the stamp factory. He did try to harvest the Queen Mother once or twice, but her minge butter was a bit too crusty. 

Nice one Cap, Indeed, and it is also believed that Diane Abbot was the inspiration behind the Penny Black. 

[Eric Cuntman]

46 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Back in the days when you had to lick stamps,  the adhesive was made from Royal Fanny Batter. My grandad used to harvest it from HRH and Princess Anne every morning, mix it with some of his 'special substance' and take it to the stamp factory. He did try to harvest the Queen Mother once or twice, but her minge butter was a bit too crusty. 

Margaret had plenty of it, but most of it was squirted out on the island of Mustique, until John Bindon broke her gearbox anyway.