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Guest 'eavensabove

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2 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Reported for racism.

Actually he exists.........

The Reverend Canaan Banana.....

In 1997, Banana was arrested in Zimbabwe on charges of sodomy, following accusations made during the murder trial of his former bodyguard, Jefta Dube.Dube, a policeman, had shot dead Patrick Mashiri,an officer who had taunted him about being "Banana's homosexual wife".] The charges related to allegations from the state prosecutor that Banana had misused his power while he was president to coerce numerous men in positions of service (ranging from domestic staff to security guards, and even members of sports teams for whom he had acted as referee) into accepting sexual advances. Banana was found guilty of eleven charges of sodomy, attempted sodomy and indecent assault in 1998. He denied all charges, saying that homosexuality is "deviant, abominable and wrong", and the allegations made against him were "pathological lies" intended to destroy his political career.[7] Janet Banana later discussed and accepted her husband's alleged homosexuality, even though she considered the charges against him to be politically motivated.

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5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's actually his private physician, Dr Kgabe Zulu Um Bongo, who has a medical degree from the Lagos institute of medicine, lawn mower repair and credit card fraud. His family gave up everything they had to buy his photocopied diploma, including both goats and a towbar for a '96 HiLux. He has never had a complaint filed by one of his patients, they're all dead.

I wonder if Punkape ever received the $15,100,000,000 bank transfer promised to him by Dr Kgabe Zulu Um Bongo when he provided his account details.

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5 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Actually he exists.........

The Reverend Canaan Banana.....

In 1997, Banana was arrested in Zimbabwe on charges of sodomy, following accusations made during the murder trial of his former bodyguard, Jefta Dube.Dube, a policeman, had shot dead Patrick Mashiri,an officer who had taunted him about being "Banana's homosexual wife".] The charges related to allegations from the state prosecutor that Banana had misused his power while he was president to coerce numerous men in positions of service (ranging from domestic staff to security guards, and even members of sports teams for whom he had acted as referee) into accepting sexual advances. Banana was found guilty of eleven charges of sodomy, attempted sodomy and indecent assault in 1998. He denied all charges, saying that homosexuality is "deviant, abominable and wrong", and the allegations made against him were "pathological lies" intended to destroy his political career.[7] Janet Banana later discussed and accepted her husband's alleged homosexuality, even though she considered the charges against him to be politically motivated.

I remember this. Canaan Banana was previously a well known religious celebrity figure and inspired much jealousy from Archbishop Desmond Tutu, for having a stupider fucking name.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
6 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

Please tell me you don't live in Bexhill, the original above ground cemetery

There is quite a stretch between Brighton and Worthing and itis not Bexhill or Hastings, both shit holes.

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8 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

There is quite a stretch between Brighton and Worthing and itis not Bexhill or Hastings, both shit holes.

You haven't got a proper home on the Sussex coast have you?  I bet you have got a big chrome & white caravan that you park in various lay-bys. Wasn't your Renault Trafic  powerful enough to tow it, and that's why you got rid of it. 

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Guest Alfie Noakes
4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

You haven't got a proper home on the Sussex coast have you?  I bet you have got a big chrome & white caravan that you park in various lay-bys. Wasn't your Renault Trafic  powerful enough to tow it, and that's why you got rid of it. 

Shame you are wrong, my houses are all bricks and mortar. Inheritance is a wonderful thing!

My British Landrover can pull most caravans, the grotty little French oil burner (kangoo not trafic) was for my staff to use for work.

Oh yes fuck off!

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On 05/07/2017 at 11:12 PM, Eric Cuntman said:

Have you thought about applying to the Samaritans to work on their switchboard? If you can't convince your callers that their life is worth hanging onto, just tell them about yours and I'm sure they'll cheer up a bit.

Not a bad idea actually.

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Guest 'eavensabove
3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It's got sustainability going for it Apple, the world gets worse, the population grows, the number of suicidal people can only go up. You'd have a job for life.

I think that the truth of the matter is that he's work-shy. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
5 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

This year has been the worse ever.

Something tells me you'll be saying the same next year too. Best to give up the idea of work altogether Scruffs. You're obviously not cut out for it. 

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Guest Wizardsleeve
5 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

This year has been the worse ever.

When things are at their lowest and worst, they can only go up from there.  Chin up old bean!  

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Guest 'eavensabove
3 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

Not a bad idea actually.

I tell you what... As you're a mate and all that, I'll give you a few pointers in the right direction by play-rolling a suicidee for you to counter-react with. You know, a few things to get along with at your interview. You need to show them that you care...

Ring ring, ring ring:  "Councillor Scruffs at your disposal, how may I help you?"

" I feel like toppin' meself "

Think about Scruffs, quickly, as the man is in peril...  His life may depend on it, this could be Your chance of great acclaim & success!  What will say to save him?

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Guest Wizardsleeve
22 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

I tell you what... As you're a mate and all that, I'll give you a few pointers in the right direction by play-rolling a suicidee for you to counter-react with. You know, a few things to get along with at your interview. You need to show them that you care...

Ring ring, ring ring:  "Councillor Scruffs at your disposal, how may I help you?"

" I feel like toppin' meself "

Think about Scruffs, quickly, as the man is in peril...  His life may depend on it, this could be Your chance of great acclaim & success!  What will say to save him?

"at least we have the ashes!"

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Guest Snatch
4 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

This year has been the worse ever.

Why not just admit your a troll. The same depressing shit time and time again. Either change the record of fuck off.

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6 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

This year has been the worse ever.

Scruffers baby..kmon down the dole hole n I'll show ya how the system works. .sign on and you'll have more time to get in shape ...you'll get a voucher for everything. .heat. .light..gluten free shite ya can donate or fuck in the bin. .get another gig that pays into the hand and you're sorted 

Panzerknacker 

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