Eric Cuntman Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 17 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: So, are you trying to suggest RK is an alcoholic, or what? He can't be, the debilitating flatulence which occurs after drinking 3 pints of Brown Ale, prohibits degenerate levels of consumption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 28 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: There was one of these cunt at Paignton a tallish 40ish with short cropped dyed blond hair, swaggering around like an extra from Grease and asking people if they were taking the piss out of him. I told to fuck off when he came up to me. You should of glassed him Pen and been done with it. No point fucking about with these wankers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 3 hours ago, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. Yeah, because no other fuckers gonna do it are they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Ape said: The rose tinted glasses view of the beach is, as you point out, far removed from the reality. Combine this with the nightmare journey to get there and the inevitable lack of parking space, and you've basically created your very own hell. I prefer beer and BBQ in my garden, with the car left to swelter alone on the drive. That's exactly what I've been doing today Ape. Although it's iced Lambrini (fuck off) for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Why go to the beach when you can cool-off like Frank does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 2 hours ago, King_Cunt said: KC that's the beach I'm 15 minutes from, it has enough parking for a dozen cars....dump...I was peacefully sat out of my back a few minutes ago enjoying a cold beer, but, now I have had to move back inside due to the fact that the student 2 doors up doesn't know the difference between coal and charcoal....I'm awaiting the fire brigade...cunt.. Why is it that as soon as the sun peeps out, fucking idiot men revert back thousands of years to cave men, trying to cook lidl sausages on flames, their flabby bare bellies dripping sweat on the meat, can of fester's lager in one hand and tongs in the other with the really cuntish ones wearing a fucking chefs hat. Yet ask these lumps to cook dinner in the kitchen and you get "fuck off that's what you tarts are for". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Roadkill said: I fingered the girl I lost my virginity to at the bus stop near the Blue Reef Aquarium there about a decade ago. She was a minger but it's funny how these memories stick with you... Yeah and it was me who paid for your kebab and Fanta orange, you cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 27 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Why is it that as soon as the sun peeps out, fucking idiot men revert back thousands of years to cave men, trying to cook lidl sausages on flames, their flabby bare bellies dripping sweat on the meat, can of fester's lager in one hand and tongs in the other with the really cuntish ones wearing a fucking chefs hat. Yet ask these lumps to cook dinner in the kitchen and you get "fuck off that's what you tarts are for". Look on the bright side, they have no idea how to cook so what they serve will be burnt to a cinder on the outside and raw in the middle. Chances are they will spend tomorrow throwing up with food poisoning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 52 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Why go to the beach when you can cool-off like Frank does. Normally someone throws an old pram in your skip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 I've been sat in my orchard all day with my pet seagull observing a pigeon hatching her 2 eggs, sipping chilled desperada and writing a song, laughing my tits off at the miserable bucket and spade visitor cunts on their way to a huge parking problem. They're well pissed off after driving at 20mph behind a fat flat cap wearing cunt from West Yorkshire dragging his caravan behind him for miles. Oh well, enjoy your quick sniff of the sea then back home again. I'll go for my beach run when you've all fucked off. Same again next weekend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 9 hours ago, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. I have no real evidence, only a theory, but I think some of these cunts are making a subliminal attempt to watch their brood drown! The second option is it's a case of wishful thinking on my part! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 8 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: I have no real evidence, only a theory, but I think some of these cunts are making a subliminal attempt to watch their brood drown! The second option is it's a case of wishful thinking on my part! It's the smog gulpers from inland, every fucking time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 3 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: It's the smog gulpers from inland, every fucking time. ... and of course those that migrate for their annual wash behind the ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 17 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: ... and of course those that migrate for their annual wash behind the ears. Is that Brighton? We don't get em round here, yet, word must have got round about our pig roast beach parties. The one in the red jibjab is taking a photo of it on her mobile so when she goes down memory lane in 30 years time she will remember what it was like to bathe in the sea back in the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: Is that Brighton? We don't get em round here, yet, word must have got round about our pig roast beach parties. The one in the red jibjab is taking a photo of it on her mobile so when she goes down memory lane in 30 years time she will remember what it was like to bathe in the sea back in the day. I have the whole beach to myself where I live, as it's off the beaten track in Penge. However, I lived on the sea front in Eastbourne throughout last year and you wouldn't believe the oil-slicks that used to congregate by the coachload each weekend, leaving their muck behind them and basically contaminating the sea... Even the seagulls gave them a wide berth. Although I liked Eastbourne, we've now moved to a more desirable & secret location on a nice stretch of the East coast which so far has not been discovered by oiks or ramadamadingdo's, though I understand that they make an ideal bait for catching crabs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 5 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Is that Brighton? We don't get em round here, yet, word must have got round about our pig roast beach parties. The one in the red jibjab is taking a photo of it on her mobile so when she goes down memory lane in 30 years time she will remember what it was like to bathe in the sea back in the day. Is that opposed to the rivers of blood that she will be bathing in over the next few years? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 5 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Is that Brighton? We don't get em round here, yet, word must have got round about our pig roast beach parties. The one in the red jibjab is taking a photo of it on her mobile so when she goes down memory lane in 30 years time she will remember what it was like to bathe in the sea back in the day. Fuck me well I never seen that before, a post box on the beach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 5 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: ... and of course those that migrate for their annual wash behind the ears. Fuck me, you have to feel sorry for the sea life. When those burkas get soaked, and all that horrid, rancid dead skin and body odour get stripped away, the poor bastards will be belly up, not even wanting to gasp their last breaths of air! I couldn't care any less if they want to wear the fucking things, but stop being utter cunts about wearing black in the heat. Not only does it generate a stench that would kick vultures off a pile of summer road kill, but it's also been known to assist in heat exhaustion and passing out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 2 hours ago, Snatch said: Is that opposed to the rivers of blood that she will be bathing in over the next few years? Whereas we will be just floating in them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 On 18/06/2017 at 5:03 PM, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. If I had kids and a shit car on a hot summers day, I'd drive down the the coast as quick as I could to throw myself off beachy head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 On 19/06/2017 at 1:12 PM, 'eavensabove said: I have the whole beach to myself where I live, as it's off the beaten track in Penge. However, I lived on the sea front in Eastbourne throughout last year and you wouldn't believe the oil-slicks that used to congregate by the coachload each weekend, leaving their muck behind them and basically contaminating the sea... Even the seagulls gave them a wide berth. Although I liked Eastbourne, we've now moved to a more desirable & secret location on a nice stretch of the East coast which so far has not been discovered by oiks or ramadamadingdo's, though I understand that they make an ideal bait for catching crabs. Eastbourne... Jesus wept. Do you and Drew cohabit a retirement home bungalow together? The smell must be unbearable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 On 19/06/2017 at 1:12 PM, 'eavensabove said: I have the whole beach to myself where I live, as it's off the beaten track in Penge. However, I lived on the sea front in Eastbourne throughout last year and you wouldn't believe the oil-slicks that used to congregate by the coachload each weekend, leaving their muck behind them and basically contaminating the sea... Even the seagulls gave them a wide berth. Although I liked Eastbourne, we've now moved to a more desirable & secret location on a nice stretch of the East coast which so far has not been discovered by oiks or ramadamadingdo's, though I understand that they make an ideal bait for catching crabs. It's just as well for the entire east coast you chose to live in a secret location. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 30 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Eastbourne... Jesus wept. Do you and Drew cohabit a retirement home bungalow together? The smell must be unbearable. Living in Eastbourne, is the kind of place where peasants such as you can only ever dream about living in, as is also the place where I live now. Sure, you may think its OK to dwell in your rancid cesspit, but I'd not exchange my life for yours for all the tea in China. So there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 26 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Living in Eastbourne, is the kind of place where peasants such as you can only ever dream about living in, as is also the place where I live now. Sure, you may think its OK to dwell in your rancid cesspit, but I'd not exchange my life for yours for all the tea in China. So there. If you define peasant as "someone of working age who doesn't shit themselves in fits of incontienence", I agree I can't live where you live, as I'm not eligible for the retirement home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 6 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: If you define peasant as "someone of working age who doesn't shit themselves in fits of incontienence", I agree I can't live where you live, as I'm not eligible for the retirement home. I define the word "peasant" as being a guttersnipe like you. The rest of your post is inaccurate nonsense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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