Ape™️ Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Luckily, the Highways Agency schedules all roadworks for Bank Holidays and hot days thus increasing the torment for the exodus of lemming proportions to the briny. If the whole population of the UK went to the coast at one time, standing at the high water mark, we would have about 18" of space per person. As I am staying in sunny Manchester, some lucky fucker can have a full yard to themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 When you get there it's hard to find a space park the car.the place is full of pikey type families with their bastard kids in tow and full of footballist cunts wearing English football shirts drinking and asking people "what the fuck they are looking at,cunt". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 4 minutes ago, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. I live by the beach. It's fucking hell during the summer because the roads are packed with cunts who don't know their way around and the streets are filled with wailing kids. You can't smell the refreshing sea air over the stink from greasy burger/kebab vans, the pavements are covered in dog shit because the rich cunts that live on the seafront aren't the type to pick up the huge shits their huskies leave steaming in the sun, and the bins filled with discarded ice creams and fizzy drinks are a stronghold for wasps and cuntish seagulls. They all pile onto the beach, stay for an hour before they remember how shit going to the beach is, then block the roads on their way back, too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King_Cunt Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 17 minutes ago, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. I live 15 minutes from the coast, 10 minutes away from my work place, and I also work on a Sunday...its about 27 degrees here today, I left work at midday and got home 30 minutes later, mainly due to the amount of cunts in their range rovers because of their failure to pull out during intercourse, at the right moment...and have to take these vermin to the beach...cunts.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted June 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I live by the beach. It's fucking hell during the summer because the roads are packed with cunts who don't know their way around and the streets are filled with wailing kids. You can't smell the refreshing sea air over the stink from greasy burger/kebab vans, the pavements are covered in dog shit because the rich cunts that live on the seafront aren't the type to pick up the huge shits their huskies leave steaming in the sun, and the bins filled with discarded ice creams and fizzy drinks are a stronghold for wasps and cuntish seagulls. They all pile onto the beach, stay for an hour before they remember how shit going to the beach is, then block the roads on their way back, too. The rose tinted glasses view of the beach is, as you point out, far removed from the reality. Combine this with the nightmare journey to get there and the inevitable lack of parking space, and you've basically created your very own hell. I prefer beer and BBQ in my garden, with the car left to swelter alone on the drive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 9 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I live by the beach. It's fucking hell during the summer because the roads are packed with cunts who don't know their way around and the streets are filled with wailing kids. You can't smell the refreshing sea air over the stink from greasy burger/kebab vans, the pavements are covered in dog shit because the rich cunts that live on the seafront aren't the type to pick up the huge shits their huskies leave steaming in the sun, and the bins filled with discarded ice creams and fizzy drinks are a stronghold for wasps and cuntish seagulls. They all pile onto the beach, stay for an hour before they remember how shit going to the beach is, then block the roads on their way back, too. Jaywick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Surely Brighton's got enough fucking poofs in it already? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Just now, King_Cunt said: I live 15 minutes from the coast, 10 minutes away from my work place, and I also work on a Sunday...its about 27 degrees here today, I left work at midday and got home 30 minutes later, mainly due to the amount of cunts in their range rovers because of their failure to pull out during intercourse, at the right moment...and have to take these vermin to the beach...cunts.. Have you ever tried getting something from that shit little shack of a café on the beach at Tynemouth? Cunts try and charge you a fiver for a fucking Cornetto and all of their drinks are bought in bulk from the pound shop and sold at three times the price despite being unrefrigerated and flat. I laughed my arse off the other year when the shit hole got flooded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 4 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Jaywick. Eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 17 minutes ago, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. And what do you find at the end of this tortuous journey? Is it golden sands stretching into the distance, clear, blue water gently lapping at the shore, is Brooke Shields strolling along the waters edge? None of the above. What you find is several thousand sweaty fat loudmouths, crammed onto every available inch of sand, screaming kids acting the cunt to try and get some attention from the tattooed chav parents, any space left unoccupied by the human detritus is almost certain to be covered in discarded coke cans and sticky ice cream wrappers, and the attendant wasps, flies etc. then you look beyond the writhing mass of sweat, blubber and filth to the wide blue yonder, and observe spoilt little wankers on jet-skis, bombing around in wetsuits and shades, trying to identify unattended 15 year old girls so they can wow them and hopefully get them pregnant later on before fucking off back to Basildon. What the fuck is so amazing about the beach anyway? It's where dirt meets water. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Surely Brighton's got enough fucking poofs in it already? Yes. The tourists who leave broken glass to hide in the shingle really fuck me off. Seems the beach is their litter bin the fucking cunts, that is why the parking is so expensive, to pay for the clean up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 2 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Eh? It's a benefits hotspot next to clacton, populated by alcoholics and nonces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King_Cunt Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 6 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Have you ever tried getting something from that shit little shack of a café on the beach at Tynemouth? Cunts try and charge you a fiver for a fucking Cornetto and all of their drinks are bought in bulk from the pound shop and sold at three times the price despite being unrefrigerated and flat. I laughed my arse off the other year when the shit hole got flooded. KC that's the beach I'm 15 minutes from, it has enough parking for a dozen cars....dump...I was peacefully sat out of my back a few minutes ago enjoying a cold beer, but, now I have had to move back inside due to the fact that the student 2 doors up doesn't know the difference between coal and charcoal....I'm awaiting the fire brigade...cunt.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: And what do you find at the end of this tortuous journey? Is it golden sands stretching into the distance, clear, blue water gently lapping at the shore, is Brooke Shields strolling along the waters edge? None of the above. What you find is several thousand sweaty fat loudmouths, crammed onto every available inch of sand, screaming kids acting the cunt to try and get some attention from the tattooed chav parents, any space left unoccupied by the human detritus is almost certain to be covered in discarded coke cans and sticky ice cream wrappers, and the attendant wasps, flies etc. then you look beyond the writhing mass of sweat, blubber and filth to the wide blue yonder, and observe spoilt little wankers on jet-skis, bombing around in wetsuits and shades, trying to identify unattended 15 year old girls so they can wow them and hopefully get them pregnant later on before fucking off back to Basildon. What the fuck is so amazing about the beach anyway? It's where dirt meets water. I like the beach in the winter. Its usually empty, so you don't have to deal with other cunts, the sand is wet enough not to be a nuisance, the air is fresh and invigorating and you can shit wherever you want and no one will be the wiser. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 5 minutes ago, King_Cunt said: KC that's the beach I'm 15 minutes from, it has enough parking for a dozen cars....dump...I was peacefully sat out of my back a few minutes ago enjoying a cold beer, but, now I have had to move back inside due to the fact that the student 2 doors up doesn't know the difference between coal and charcoal....I'm awaiting the fire brigade...cunt.. I fingered the girl I lost my virginity to at the bus stop near the Blue Reef Aquarium there about a decade ago. She was a minger but it's funny how these memories stick with you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 17 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Yes. The tourists who leave broken glass to hide in the shingle really fuck me off. Seems the beach is their litter bin the fucking cunts, that is why the parking is so expensive, to pay for the clean up. Its the cunts that allow their dogs to shit on the beach that gets up my goat. Trying to find a clean patch on which to squat, is getting increasingly difficult these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 6 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I fingered the girl I lost my virginity to at the bus stop near the Blue Reef Aquarium there about a decade ago. She was a minger but it's funny how these memories stick with you... Quelle sur-fucking-prise. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Just now, Cuntybaws said: Quelle sur-fucking-prise. ? Nothing wrong with low standards, CB. Besides, unibrows are considered beautiful in some cultures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 I would never dream of driving to the seaside .. mind you I live less than a mile from the beach so I don't need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Ape said: What the fuck possesses people to pile their kids into a metal box and jump on the motorway, in a futile attempt get to the seaside? I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a traffic jam for hours, in 30 degree heat, with tempers fraying and kids arguing. Utter fucking madness. Absolute madness, I agree. That said, it is easy to get to the coast for me, what with better roads, far less traffic, and non essential lorries not being allowed on French roads on Sundays. I prefer to sit by my pool though, in the shade, sipping chilled Chardonnay, and chatting to family on Skype. The only thing buzzing over my head is a bumblebee, which is nice. Just another day for me.... Vivre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 44 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I fingered the girl I lost my virginity to at the bus stop near the Blue Reef Aquarium there about a decade ago. She was a minger but it's funny how these memories stick with you... Yeh, probably like the smell of her minge under your finger nails, you filthy cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 Just now, Witheredscrote said: Yeh, probably like the smell of her minge under your finger nails, you filthy cunt. I trust that he took precautions by waiting for the tide to come in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: It's a benefits hotspot next to clacton, populated by alcoholics and nonces. So, are you trying to suggest RK is an alcoholic, or what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Snatch said: asking people "what the fuck they are looking at,cunt". There was one of these cunt at Paignton a tallish 40ish with short cropped dyed blond hair, swaggering around like an extra from Grease and asking people if they were taking the piss out of him. I told to fuck off when he came up to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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