Shit riddled bin bog roll in 2018

[Witheredscrote]

1 minute ago, Bubba C said:

Splendid. Frog or Actual time? 

Frog please.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

Terminal arse cancer is no laughing matter Stibbly.  Geese are prone to it, blood and shit everywhere. Not pretty.

Not pretty perhaps, but enjoyable to hear about.  

[Guest 'eavensabove]

9 minutes ago, Frank said:

I’ve reported you twice this week for flouting the rules. If admin don’t bury you shortly, you certainly won’t survive the personal shit that’s about to surface.  

Here we go, what's this then Phase 200?  When is that shit-filled head of yours going to realise that I don't give a flying fuck about you, the putrid air that you breathe and the pathetic barren-life that you live. You still fail to see the irony when that thing that shat you out, called you a son of a bitch., don't you, eh. 

Your as useful as an arse-hole with taste buds. Catch Ebola. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

42 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

There is an old thicko called Bubba

He's a plank in one way or another

He thinks he can stoke

but he's a dork and joke

and as a Cunt, he's one 'ell of a Mother.

He's certainly no match for Stubbs

'coz all Bubba does is Blubbs

but he'll try raising troops

grass you to Roops

'coz, that's all the cunt ever does. 

You’re absolutely and utterly mental. And a total idiot.

[southerncunt]

There is only so much Pinot I can drink before most of the shit on this thread makes sense. Now that Jazz has gone in up to the cannon wheels on just about every thread going, I’m not sure if even 2 stroke will be enough. 

[Bubba C]

1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

Here we go, what's this then Phase 200?  When is that shit-filled head of yours going to realise that I don't give a flying fuck about you, the putrid air that you breathe and the pathetic barren-life that you live. You still fail to see the irony when that thing that shat you out, called you a son of a bitch., don't you, eh. 

Your as useful as an arse-hole with taste buds. Catch Ebola. 

You’re. 

[southerncunt]

2 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

You’re. 

I realise that the compunction to point out the obvious shortcomings of a classical education when it comes to Jazz is overpowering, he will only wear you out. 

Anger brings it out, and we can push him further.

[Witheredscrote]

13 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

You’re. 

Don't ever, ever, ever,  do that again. I thought that Snitch was back.

[Frank]

19 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Don't ever, ever, ever,  do that again. I thought that Snitch was back.

You remind me a lot of Eddie. In the back of my mind there’s a soft spot for both of you. In reality you’re both fucking rubbish. 

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

You remind me a lot of Eddie. In the back of my mind there’s a soft spot for both of you. In reality you’re both fucking rubbish. 

I'm just surprised that you have enough of a mind  to designate areas in it.     vivre.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

6 hours ago, Bubba C said:

Didn’t one of them have psychosomatic autism? 

One of my sons has Autism, yes. However, not only would that make you a Multi for knowing that, but also my son is more of man than You or Your mother will ever be, and he'd kick ten types of shit out You, no probs. No probs at all. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

You remind me a lot of Eddie. In the back of my mind there’s a soft spot for both of you. In reality you’re both fucking rubbish. 

You remind me of a son of a dog-faced whore, what of it?

[Guest Bill Stickers]

12 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

One of my sons has Autism, yes. However, not only would that make you a Multi for knowing that, but also my son is more of man than You or Your mother will ever be, and he'd kick ten types of shit out You, no probs. No probs at all. 

Oh boy. I think we’re about to witness a bank holiday Jazz special. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Oh boy. I think we’re about to witness a bank holiday Jazz special. 

The only thing you'll ever witness, is adolescence. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Just now, 'eavensabove said:

The only thing you'll ever witness, is adolescence. 

You really are hammered aren’t you? No doubt you’ve spent the last few hours sat in a decrepit deckchair in a public park smashing a crate of K cider. You’re speaking so much shit I think you might have heatstroke as well as alcohol poisoning.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

2 hours ago, southerncunt said:

There is only so much Pinot I can drink before most of the shit on this thread makes sense. Now that Jazz has gone in up to the cannon wheels on just about every thread going, I’m not sure if even 2 stroke will be enough. 

I figured you for more of a Fosters or castlemaine XXXX man. Wine is for poofs. lol

[Guest 'eavensabove]

5 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

You really are hammered aren’t you? No doubt you’ve spent the last few hours sat in a decrepit deckchair in a public park smashing a crate of K cider. You’re speaking so much shit I think you might have heatstroke as well as alcohol poisoning.

You Sap. My yawn has more air than you.  You're pathetic.

[Ape™️]

Alright lads?

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

32 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

One of my sons has Autism, yes. However, not only would that make you a Multi for knowing that, but also my son is more of man than You or Your mother will ever be, and he'd kick ten types of shit out You, no probs. No probs at all. 

Reported.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

16 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

You really are hammered aren’t you? No doubt you’ve spent the last few hours sat in a decrepit deckchair in a public park smashing a crate of K cider. You’re speaking so much shit I think you might have heatstroke as well as alcohol poisoning.

The only thing he could smash is the anus of a floating corpse.  

[Frank]

8 hours ago, Bubba C said:

Didn’t one of them have psychosomatic autism? 

When that boy comes a knocking, you’ll fucking know about it Bubba C. 

 

[Guest White van man]

On 5/26/2018 at 6:14 AM, William T.D. Stickers said:

We sent a man to the moon in 1969 using a 16-bit computer, and fired a fucking Tesla into space just recently. 

Most of the developing world now has full 4G mobile coverage.

Mankind has constructed a giant hadron collider to study subatomic particles to ascertain the very foundations of our universe. 

But for various reasons, most of southern Europe’s islands, as well as much of the rural mainland still haven’t managed to crack basic sanitation.

Specifically, they haven’t mastered it to a level where you can flush your shit riddled bog roll round the u-bend.

What this inevitably leads to is a dire state of affairs; every restaurant toilet has a pile of continental arse gravy festering in the corner, and any public facility that children use is a total warzone that can cause  severe PTSD. 

After a week of the Mediterranean diet, I’m dropping some seriously oily and dense Yule logs at a regular pace. The kind that get wedged in your arse a bit, so you have to quite literally wipe them out like a stonemason chipping away at a corner stone. 

An utterly intolerable situation. I might be anti-Brexit, but I certainly think they should be looking to retroactively expel any country that partakes in such utterly fucking barbarous behaviour.

 Like any self respecting Brit, I’ve been sneaking into the girlfriend’s parents en-suite at the villa and dropping my guts and flushing the bog roll, so that they get lumped with the repair bill for the broken piping.

I'll translate this lads;

The suns been out all week so Bill thinks he's been on holiday. He thinks the tomato in his 4 pack special offer beef and tomato pot noddle equates to a Mediterranean diet.

He lives in a static caravan with a hole in the roof, so gets relief when he can see the moon as it means no rain. His emergency credit ran out on his electric meter, causing him to miss his back to work interview, resulting in him being sanctioned by the dole. That meant he had no money for a top up, so had no 4G for a month. His porta potty is blocked and he's waiting for Shazeem and Hameed the maintenance men to fix it, and to play their little game with him called 'Giant hard on collider'.

He lives on the camp site all winter on his own, and now he's having to share the communal toilet, the sound of families and kids enjoying themselves is sending him into a deeper depression.

His shit is compacted and oily because Aziz, the site owner comes round 3 nights a week with vaseline and fisting butter, in exchange for cheap rent.

He's anti-brexit because he secretly enjoys his time with his 3 abusers, and as they're illegal immigrants, he doesn't want them sent home.

I can't bring myself to even comment on him pretending to have a girlfriend.

 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

1 minute ago, White van man said:

I'll translate this lads;

The suns been out all week so Bill thinks he's been on holiday. He thinks the tomato in his 4 pack special offer beef and tomato pot noddle equates to a Mediterranean diet.

He lives in a static caravan with a hole in the roof, so gets relief when he can see the moon as it means no rain. His emergency credit ran out on his electric meter, causing him to miss his back to work interview, resulting in him being sanctioned by the dole. That meant he had no money for a top up, so had no 4G for a month. His porta potty is blocked and he's waiting for Shazeem and Hameed the maintenance men to fix it, and to play their little game with him called 'Giant hard on collider'.

He lives on the camp site all winter on his own, and now he's having to share the communal toilet, the sound of families and kids enjoying themselves is sending him into a deeper depression.

His shit is compacted and oily because Aziz, the site owner comes round 3 nights a week with vaseline and fisting butter, in exchange for cheap rent.

He's anti-brexit because he secretly enjoys his time with his 3 abusers, and as they're illegal immigrants, he doesn't want them sent home.

I can't bring myself to even comment on him pretending to have a girlfriend.

A contrived load of bollocks. You’re rattled and trying too hard.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

A contrived load of bollocks. You’re rattled and trying too hard.

I can't believe you felt it necessary to point out that it was contrived. He's not the only one trying too hard.

[Frank]

8 minutes ago, White van man said:

I'll translate this lads;

The suns been out all week so Bill thinks he's been on holiday. He thinks the tomato in his 4 pack special offer beef and tomato pot noddle equates to a Mediterranean diet.

He lives in a static caravan with a hole in the roof, so gets relief when he can see the moon as it means no rain. His emergency credit ran out on his electric meter, causing him to miss his back to work interview, resulting in him being sanctioned by the dole. That meant he had no money for a top up, so had no 4G for a month. His porta potty is blocked and he's waiting for Shazeem and Hameed the maintenance men to fix it, and to play their little game with him called 'Giant hard on collider'.

He lives on the camp site all winter on his own, and now he's having to share the communal toilet, the sound of families and kids enjoying themselves is sending him into a deeper depression.

His shit is compacted and oily because Aziz, the site owner comes round 3 nights a week with vaseline and fisting butter, in exchange for cheap rent.

He's anti-brexit because he secretly enjoys his time with his 3 abusers, and as they're illegal immigrants, he doesn't want them sent home.

I can't bring myself to even comment on him pretending to have a girlfriend.

 

Absolutely awful. You’ve no place on here.