King Billy Posted February 20, 2019 Report Share Posted February 20, 2019 2 minutes ago, ratcum said: Rat Junior once asked me why I'd hissed "I told you never to ring me at home !" down the phone to a caller. Kid's ears were more sensitive than a fuckin Cold War sonar buoy Guess you had to be there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 4 hours ago, Crab said: Jeremy Isaacs must be spinning in his grave. Channel Four was launched as an arty alternative to ITV and BBC. Under Isaacs it trod a fine line between fringe telly for the young at heart and the high art forms of classical music, opera, world cinema and interesting documentaries. The only remnant of these aspirations are the Channel Four News and some of its Investigative prigrammes. All is the rest is shit with increasing resort to inane teenage formats, pornography dressed up as educational and LGBT references every two minutes. That's my tuppence worth. The live autopsy with Mr Vampire from the plasticising factory in Europe, replete with black homberg, was my last straw with this barrel of shite, plus the cheap throwaway jokes about Jill Dando soon aftwr she was murdered. That's all very well, but my Mother in Law once poked out my Father in Law's eyeball and now several years later, he's dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 15 hours ago, Crab said: Jeremy Isaacs must be spinning in his grave. Channel Four was launched as an arty alternative to ITV and BBC. Under Isaacs it trod a fine line between fringe telly for the young at heart and the high art forms of classical music, opera, world cinema and interesting documentaries. The only remnant of these aspirations are the Channel Four News and some of its Investigative prigrammes. All is the rest is shit with increasing resort to inane teenage formats, pornography dressed up as educational and LGBT references every two minutes. That's my tuppence worth. The live autopsy with Mr Vampire from the plasticising factory in Europe, replete with black homberg, was my last straw with this barrel of shite, plus the cheap throwaway jokes about Jill Dando soon aftwr she was murdered. I hate to agree with this cunt, but I agree with this cunt! Channel 4 used to have good music programmes, now it panders to teen shite and whatever's 'trendy' on planet snowflake , it's a dog's breakfast, and everybody knows I FUCKIN' HATE DOGS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, cooze said: I hate to agree with this cunt, but I agree with this cunt! Channel 4 used to have good music programmes, now it panders to teen shite and whatever's 'trendy' on planet snowflake , it's a dog's breakfast, and everybody knows I FUCKIN' HATE DOGS! Dogs breakfast is a good description. It used to be pioneering now it just goes for the biggest teen/immature audience it can sink its teeth into. But the fall of Channel Four can be seen across the whole of TV. The endless repeats and monotony on Freeview is mind numbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 This is what happened when Punkers you got his Viagra tabs mixed-up with his hair-growth pills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 Target audience; 100 vegans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 I would advise against taking Viagra with your Iron supplements, less of course you're into spinning and pointing North. On the other hand, if you consider yourself to be a comedian, then Viagra will help your stand-up routine. Rumour has it that a cheaper alternative is also available online under the generic name of Mycoxafloppin Dr Consultant 'eavens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 18 hours ago, scotty said: My five year old boy saw a poster for the Vagina Monologues and asked me that dreaded question. "Daddy, what's a monologue?" Did you tell him it's when you evacuate your bowels without a break Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 37 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Did you tell him it's when you evacuate your bowels without a break To be or not to be you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Khiwa Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 7 hours ago, Crab said: Dogs breakfast is a good description. It used to be pioneering now it just goes for the biggest teen/immature audience it can sink its teeth into. But the fall of Channel Four can be seen across the whole of TV. The endless repeats and monotony on Freeview is mind numbing. The whole of Freeview is becoming a massive ITV2! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, Khiwa said: The whole of Freeview is becoming a massive ITV2! I find most of those freeview channels annoying, they keep interrupting the adverts with 2 minute programme breaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 8 minutes ago, Khiwa said: The whole of Freeview is becoming a massive ITV2! Watch Radio 4. It's even worse on there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I find most of those freeview channels annoying, they keep interrupting the adverts with 2 minute programme breaks. Particularly when you consider how much we pay for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 I threw both boxes through the window eight years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 1 minute ago, The Bishop said: I threw both boxes through the window eight years ago. Well that's no good is it. The draught must play havoc with your knees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 Jesus fucking Christ. What is this utter fucking shit? Congratulations @Wizardsleeve for running away with the best post on this dog shit nom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 22 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I find most of those freeview channels annoying, they keep interrupting the adverts with 2 minute programme breaks. Absolutely. I timed it. You get 25 minutes of adverts per hour. I know the ASA will disagree with that (they are actually all ex advertis execs) but I stopwatched it just to satisfy myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 14 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Jesus fucking Christ. What is this utter fucking shit? Congratulations @Wizardsleeve for running away with the best post on this dog shit nom. Dog shit doesn’t even come close to describing this “nom”. It’s a fucking disgrace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 Just now, Iam Ape said: Dog shit doesn’t even come close to describing this “nom”. It’s a fucking disgrace. So you would turn down 100 vaginas you cunt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 40 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Well that's no good is it. The draught must play havoc with your knees. They fell on a rozzer's head .. I only served two months of the six month sentence though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 49 minutes ago, Crab said: So you would turn down 100 vaginas you cunt? Vagina is such a horrible fucking word. Sounds like a mythical sea monster. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Vagina is such a horrible fucking word. Sounds like a mythical sea monster. But it sounds right in a sentence. "You vagina. Me penis." My best chat up line. Alwats works. No beating about the bush (!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 24 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Vagina is such a horrible fucking word. Sounds like a mythical sea monster. 'Scientists have unearthed the remains of a 150 million-year-old Vagina, that lived in the waters off the British Isles, now thought to be near modern-day Llandudno. Vaginas, often imagined to be of immense size, were mythical, predatory mermaid-like sea monsters with ginger hair thought to have become extinct shortly after the Jurassic era. Marine biologist Gary Bush, who discovered the fossil, said: 'The recent discovery means we can put the folklore to bed once and for all – Vaginas were very real.' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 15 minutes ago, Wolfie said: 'Scientists have unearthed the remains of a 150 million-year-old Vagina, that lived in the waters off the British Isles, now thought to be near modern-day Llandudno. Vaginas, often imagined to be of immense size, were mythical, predatory mermaid-like sea monsters with ginger hair thought to have become extinct shortly after the Jurassic era. Marine biologist Gary Bush, who discovered the fossil, said: 'The recent discovery means we can put the folklore to bed once and for all – Vaginas were very real.' Nice one Gary! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 1 hour ago, Wolfie said: 'Scientists have unearthed the remains of a 150 million-year-old Vagina, that lived in the waters off the British Isles, now thought to be near modern-day Llandudno. Vaginas, often imagined to be of immense size, were mythical, predatory mermaid-like sea monsters with ginger hair thought to have become extinct shortly after the Jurassic era. Marine biologist Gary Bush, who discovered the fossil, said: 'The recent discovery means we can put the folklore to bed once and for all – Vaginas were very real.' 'Several sightings over the years, have however been proven as hoaxes. Most notably, 'The Doctors photograph', which is now believed by experts to be a photograph taken during an appendectomy performed on an Orangutan.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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