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On 17/12/2020 at 16:01, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Vans been in the garage, needs an MOT today, fellas said to me theres a slight fuel leak, what you want to do is jet wash it underneath then it should be fine. Can you not do that for me theres a jet wash there and I'll pay you? No, thats illegal. I'd like to turn that jet wash on full blast and fire it up his nose the stupid cunt. 

You dont say where its leaking from...tank, fuel line, engine block. Did the cunt show you the leek? He has to upon your request

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13 hours ago, King Billy said:

Ed If only I wasn’t such a selfish cunt I’d offer to help you out over Christmas, but my missus just won’t allow negroes in the house and that’s that. The two black kids we’ve got, Femi and Kwami are a mystery to her as much as me, but that’s another story. As you’re residing in Kent you could hitch hike to Dover and lie face down on the beach in your speedos with your armbands on and wait to be rescued. Make out you can’t speak a word of English except “I’m 14 Help me please”. Before you can say Kunta Kinte you’ll be living in the Dorchester and going to one of the best mixed sex schools in London. You’ll probably fail all your GCSEs and get expelled for impregnating a few slags, but it could be the new start you need. Don’t give up on your dreams Ed. Fatty didn’t and look at him now.

Given Eddie's current streak of luck he'd probably end up on a beach in Calais followed by deportation to Uganda. Digging for cobalt under armed guards in a 40 degree sun, and writing persistently to the Home Office. 

Have you got any idea how lax the security is in Kent's refuge camps? Loads of the cunts do a bunk every week from the makeshift one in an ex Folkestone army barracks. 

It's a fucking joke. The only saving grace is that we're still Great Britain as every fucker and their 12 kids wanna live here. 

I'm suggesting we sign a trade deal with Panz's pink parliament where we swap immigrants for spuds. Their thick enough to go for it, and no cunt wants to emigrate there anyway.

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33 minutes ago, Cillian Murphy said:

You dont say where its leaking from...tank, fuel line, engine block. Did the cunt show you the leek? He has to upon your request

He's just said its a small leak on a fuel line but luckily not a/the high pressure line? Mechanics is lost on me at the best of times but I'm just suffering the cost, I'll do all the mechanical bits then sell it. Interested in buying a van? 

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3 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Eddie is presently cleaning the windows of his porsche porch.

Did you see the size of Frank’s wonky hooter, absolutely horrendous and the big swollen round head of his, lockdown hasn’t been kind to the man, that’s for bloody sure. 

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20 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Did you see the size of Frank’s wonky hooter, absolutely horrendous and the big swollen round head of his, lockdown hasn’t been kind to the man, that’s for bloody sure. 

Franks been roasting in the sun in Spain .. he is probably still there laid out on the beach at Benidorm.

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1 hour ago, Eddie said:

Have a heart Eric, especially this time of year, the man isn’t well, I just hope is nothing trivial 

Every time he shows off his latest pair of homosexual footwear, his feet and ankles look like sausages in a too tight skin. Couple that with all the bleeding from his arsehole (non-sexual) and his swarthy, greasy skin, my diagnosis would be liver failure, quite severe judging by his peripheral oedema, anal varices and jaundice. It's probably come as a result of all the booze he has to consume in order to have the confidence to dress like a gender fluid cub scout.

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8 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

I'm suggesting we sign a trade deal with Panz's pink parliament where we swap immigrants for spuds. Their thick enough to go for it, and no cunt wants to emigrate there anyway.

If Panz paused for a breather from his furious Brexit  wankathon and realised that shouting at us about our trade deficits with this country and that country, is absolutely irrelevant in comparison to Spudlands 250 years or more enormous deficit in their only commodity, people.

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