Jiggerycock

Never quite sure, only there was a bloke called Benton used to work for us and we (in our 'you don't have to be mad to work here - but it helps', Colin Hunt-invoking wackiness) used to scream 'Jesus Christ Benton!!' when it got a bit quiet or tedious (.........so only the 12 times a day)

Looks like you'll have to get used to it, now COVID is tearing through your country like Jonah Lomu through a Tony Underwood tackle Still never mind. You've got the EU's vaccination procurement programme to protect you. What is it? About .5% of the poulation vaccinated and only 40,000 doses actually received!

Benton!! Oh Jesus Christ! BENTON!!!!

At least Jeff Wode only wanted to toss his orb about - not slaughter innocent civillians. Look at him! Look at RXG!!

I have been genuinely confused by the Lib Dems stance post Brexit vote. They supported the idea of a vote and said they would respect the result. When it didn't go their way, they backtracked and then their leader said she would not respect a further vote if it went against their position. This to me is the very antithesis of ' Democratic'. To me, the Lib Dems have morphed into a neither democratic nor liberal party. They now lean to authoritarian policies and prefer this country to be controlled via the 'wise decisions' of the EU unelected technocrats than the demos of their own citizenry.

We Built Chris Whitty on Rock n Roll!

I think it's more 'adipose appropriation'

You clearly missed the meeting where we all got together and it was agreed everyone could have everything - and if they couldn't then they could sue Cosmetic surgery? Tattoo Removal? Childless? Had a skinful on Saturday night and fell over? Fucking tusker with a BMI like Steve Smith's batting average? Don't worry we can fix it....you have rights you know.

Brown Hat for a Brown Day - wasn't that a Haircut 100 hit?

Oh and the Trump National (a tournament that's part of the US PGA Tour) has been dropped because it was going to be held at a course owned by 'Orange Man Bad!'

I remember it well: 0-0 away at Southampton on the final day of the season

That second one vs Bristol Rovers was epic. I went to that game and couldn't see what happened exactly - it was only when I saw it on MOTD I could appreciate the true slapstick nature of it all.

His keeping, definitely his keeping in fact in my nightmares I have dreams of him, Mark Kendall and 'Booby' Mimms attempting to keep backpasses from John Lacy from squirming into the net.

The girls in Hemel Hempsteadwould call him a 'keeper'

This insufferably twee media-Jesus and his 'no one gives a fuck' disclosures! Mind you, faffing about with fluffy kittens on an advert for which he gets paid millions, is about his fucking mark. It's just a shame it's for something as masculine as used cars

I witnessed an amusing scene in Coventry too - Mick 'The adipose Bob Carolgees' Quinn running and Robert Rosario doing great visual gags as 'centre forward attempting to score a goal'. Any other contributors have a rib-tickling, Coventry-based vignette they'd like to share?

I've not read it but let me guess: 'Mean streets....poor but happy.....gangs....violence....racism....police brutality....guns / knives......drugs......music as a way out.....the authentic voice of disaffected youth.' How am I doing? Rap is right up there with dull, bland, unchallenging pop music (see also this snivelling wretch https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-55543585 who I caught on 5 Live yesterday, presented as the High Priestess of Planet fucking Now, instead of a dull middle-class simpleton who know shit about shit) when it comes to getting an easy ride.

I love every acre of her

I think you'll find it's 'must of won' if it's Trump supporters we're on about

"I'm Going To Climb You Like A Greasy Pole Then Ride You Like A Mad Dog Through Hell!" Whaddye mean that was never a children's TV programme? It was an idea Oliver Southgate pitched to Tony Hayers back in 1971 over a good lunch at The Gavroche. Hayers rejected it and went for 'Roobarb and (Man) Custard' - which was ironically what he had for dessert too. Don't ask me how I know, right. I just do.

Fuck that! Frontline workers? Fair enough - it's been a tough gig for them, doubtless. But 'The NHS' (Peace Be Upon It) the entity, can go fuck itself. It's bloated, useless, not focussed on outcomes, mewling leech and completely unfit for purpose in the 21st century - yet somehow it's become this new national deity incapable of criticism, much less reform.

Brexit Gloating??? It's going to be an orgy of 'SEE!! SEE!! I told you!" from everyone who wants to be right rather than prosperous (i.e Rejoiners, as I suppose we should now call them), everytime Bernard in his Eddie Stobart truck forgot were he put the export manifest for the dead prostitute he wanted to chuck overboard as the ferry passes the Goodwin Sands, and has to return her to the side of the road near Ipswich before decomposition starts.

Great! I identify as 66 - WHERE'S MY STATE PENSION!!!?

Get your dole money Log onto any horse racing newsgroup on Facebook Gather all the tips from tipsters on there Select - and this is the crucial bit - those which finish with 'Thank me later' and which do not give a price that you should bet said tip at - just 'this will win' or riffs on that basic theme. Put them into a huge accumulator Sit back and wait for the money to roll in or better still double it up with those miillions that Nigerian Minister for paperclips is promising to drop on you if you give him your bank details and PIN.

Fury showing the BBC the meaning of integrity after they cancelled him a few years back for his views on homosexuality. Now they're all over him like a cheap suit and he's only gone and told them to swivel on his stiff middle digit 'til they squeal like pigs on crack