Decimus

Toxocariasis is a rare infection caused by roundworm parasites that can induce blindness. Humans can catch it from handling soil or sand contaminated with infected dog faeces. The roundworm parasites responsible for toxocariasis (called Toxocara) live in the digestive system of dogs. The worms produce eggs, which are released in the faeces of infected animals and contaminate soil. Humans can become infected if contaminated soil gets into their mouth. Once the eggs are inside the human body, they move into the bowel before hatching and releasing larvae (the earliest stage of development). These larvae can travel to most parts of the body. The best way to reduce the chances of developing toxocariasis is to practise good hygiene. For example, washing hands with soap and warm water after handling dog faeces or coming into contact with sand or soil littered with said faeces. In layman's terms, unless you want to go blind, you need to stop fiddling about with and collecting dog shit, you fucking pervert.

Fucking idiots.

Harold, in the new year I'm going to finally get around to destroying you. Consider this your notice period to either get good fast or to pack up your shit and sling your fucking hook. Whilst we're still playing nice, though, can you tell me the exact amount of drugs you have shoved up your nose and arse and into your mouth and veins this Christmas? I thought I'd gone full Scarface, but with the sheer amount of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, deranged fucking nonsense you've been banging out at a record rate over the past few days, I suspect your consumption levels would make me look like a teetotal, fucking queer.

I couldn't stand The Office, nor its American incarnation. I did enjoy Extras, though, and the first few hours of mocking Pilkington on The RG show were humorous, but there's only so many times you can listen to a Mancunian play an overly contrived idiot before it gets boring. Personally I love his stand up, not much audience interaction and hardly any spontaneity, but I don't particularly care about that if I'm not watching something live, or more than once but at different venues. He gets a hard time about it from some of the more snooty and traditional stand ups, undoubtedly because they see him as an amateur and resent the success and money he makes from his shows. Frankly I've got no time for most stand up comedians, a lot of their success is not based on being funny, but on a reputation that's been fashioned for them by bourgeois Guardian readers who get titilated whenever they get political about raaaycism or the Tory government. Stewart Lee is a fine example of this, the "comedians comedian". The cunt's act is shrouded in elitist snobbery, and if you don't like him it can't possibly be because he's a self-righteous, unfunny prick, it'll be because you're too thick to "get him".

Of course it's him. Unless he's a Cuntybaws multi, he's hardly going to recall a nearly five year old post from a random member on some dog shit website. He's not going to admit it, though, although he doesn't seem to mind making himself look like a bullshitting fucking idiot, so maybe he will.

Boyle has had his bollocks surgically removed, along with his ability to make me laugh. His new show is an absolute fucking disgrace, which considering it is on the BBC is hardly a surprise. He shares the platform with the obligatory females and ethnics who Aunty wheels out whenever they're desperate not to offend anyone other than white men with a developed sense of humour. If I wanted to watch a sad, old Scottish wanker desperately trying to reinvent himself whilst losing any sort of edge he formerly had, I'd revisit anything that Billy Connolly has produced since 1989. I can only hope Boyle ends up the same way, shaking his fat, stupid fucking head off until he's fucking dead.

Almost forty years ago, Joey Deacon went on Blue Peter. Dribbling and with a command of the English language that seemed less developed than that of a lump of dog shit, the similarities to your output on here have thus far been uncanny. When you've exhausted the material you can copy and paste from your almanac of 20th century spastics, maybe you can spend another two months working out how to show us this shit about Bradford. You fucking idiot.

I'm not surprised he's a fan of a talentless bird that copies things, the plagiarising little cunt.

You be be a fucking idiot. Moron.

Registered Social Landlord. And to think Drew has been giving me shit for working for a local authority these past six years. Unfuckingbelievable.

Drew?

Withers, I've decided to subscribe to Disney Plus and am now watching The Mandalorian. I've been incredibly disappointed with the Star Wars content the anti-Semitic mouse has released so far, namely because he insists on shoving ethnics, women and queers into the narrative. Despite the main character being a spic, though, I'm quite enjoying this. Would you like to suck my dick?

I appreciate your concern, Pen. Could you possibly inform the spotty little goit at my local CO-OP of my decrepitude, he asked me for ID when I bought a bottle of wine on Christmas Eve.

I take it that you were a naughty boy this year and got none then.

Did you get any gift wrapped dog shit for Christmas, R-Soles?

Why should the estate of your boyfriend's dead cunt of a mother be treated any differently to any other scrounger that's been overpaid by the government? Tell him to pay up, you bullshitting imbecile.

Fuck you're old. You look like a homeless Joe Pesci.

It's Christmas day, there's no need for casual racism. Wind your fucking neck in.

I won't repeat the racial slur I aimed at him, it was beneath me.

What treats have you got in for Christmas day, Major? I've got a party box of illicit substances but alas they're on the back burner until the kids fuck off to my mother's on the 27th.

You may very well think that, LCS, but I couldn't possibly comment. Merry Christmas x

Will you be dining at young Fatty's tawdry and plastic Scarface inspired mansion today, Ed?

The man's a fucking shambles, Ed. Imagine his Christmas, sat alone with a dead Ming stinking up his galley kitchen, clicking his fingers along to some Godfuckingawful experimental Jazz beat.

I've been fucking Mrs D for the past 16 years, so if it is I'm fucked. LOL.

I agree, Harold seems to have escaped the rough housing that is his due. I acknowledge that I am partly culpable for this oversight, in normal times I would have gone at him with gusto until he pulled a full on Jazz. Alas, with the high intake of other new spastics who joined at a similar time, Aitch has as you stated flown under the radar due to the comparable awfulness of the likes of Saucepants and DC. My new year's resolution is utterly fucking destroy him.