Eric Cuntman

Most of them don’t bother.

I would have kept it if I’d found it.

Saucepants came back with my avatar, calling himself ‘The Real Eric Cuntman’. Totally obsessed to the point he actually wants to be me. He also claimed that I had been somehow responsible for having his music website taken down. You remember? The one called ‘Bangin Tunes’ that he used to chat to teenagers on. The dirty cunt. I thought that Basil Brush could have been you fucking about. But he got shitcanned after about 200 nonce accusations in one weekend. Bubba’s still being a grown up somewhere, Frank’s still a cunt and Withers is still nearly dead. And @Dyslexic cnut got banned.

Do they have chop in Canada?

Just watched it. McGregor is utterly shit. Carpet fitter cunt. Jake Gyllenhall was pretty fucking good though. It wasn’t really a film about a top dog bouncer like the original. It needed a Wade Garrett. It was more of a general purpose action film. Worth watching though.

Last Friday

Jayne Mansfield had lobsters in her arsehole.

Scientific experiment.

She said that she’s post surgery and commencing chemo. I think the lack of jewellery might mean she’s got 3 blue dots tattooed on her belly and a 6 week ticket for radiology as well.

Moose fucker.

He won’t like being referred to as the third power.

How on earth were you expecting her to find the exact bit of beach? Did you leave a sand castle with a little Haitian bongo-bongo flag somewhere clear of the high tide mark?

Alcoholic cunt.

I would suggest top-decking his lavatory cistern but they haven’t got plumbing in Cyprus.

I am

Good lad ELC. Keep on swinging and take no shit from anyone. I dread to think of the abuse I would face if this lot ever found out that I was a transsexual Somali quadriplegic with herpees* *bring back Punkape.

They won’t be raughing when you turn up in the Lascal with the lape mattress in the back.

Sorry. Couldn’t fucking resist.

Can you grant me permission to edit this please?

Did you stand too close to the window in the radiology suite?

I know. But I’m not American. Don’t encourage it. Correct it.

“There’s a nasty nip in the air.” - Weather report from Pearl Harbour Dec 7th 1941.

I fucking despise the millennial generation. Since when did ‘working in a cafe’ start being described as being a ‘Barista’? They have to have everything they want because the internet tells them that they, and they alone are the most important thing in the universe bar none. As soon as they turn 17, their parents buy them a Nissan Cumquat with 36 airbags, a 6 foot crumple zone at either end and a computer which calls the police if any white heterosexual men approach the vehicle. The upshot is that the deliberately dumbed down education system has produced a generation of low IQ drones that only have the capacity to focus on their own personal gratification.

You do know that you’re fucked in the head?

I hated that bit. Hank’s death left a bad taste too.