Cap'n Cunt
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Everything posted by Cap'n Cunt
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I reckon Roger Bannister could outrun the black knight if they were both wearing brogues. Apart from him being dead, obviously.
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Is English your second language, or are you just a spazzy?
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You should buy a bigger telly.
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Getting your legs chainsawed off while out on a bike ride
Cap'n Cunt replied to Stubby Pecker's topic in The Corner
I rather suspect that they were after his bike to fashion it into some kind of wheeled idol that they could worship to bring fertility to the fields or something. There's something inherently wrong with people who live south of Weymouth - did you read about those fucking Indonesians that stabbed a Sumatran tiger (one of only about 400 left in existance) to death because they thought it was a shape-shifter? Fucking savages. -
Getting your legs chainsawed off while out on a bike ride
Cap'n Cunt replied to Stubby Pecker's topic in The Corner
I think it's a fucking good idea chainsawing the legs off cyclists - spandex-clad self-important cunts with their pathetic headcams and some misplaced idea that highway code doesn't apply to them. Does anyone have any blueprints for mounting swivelling chainsaws on the side of a Ford Focus? -
I am the affluent of humanity, and I'm considerably richer than yow.
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https://youtu.be/4IHcn-xKiA4
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If he'd had his cunt removed, there'd be nothing left of him.
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What if Grace Jones re-released Slave To The Rythm, then?
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If it wasn't for the likes of Edward Colston cunts like this would still be living in mud huts on the Ivory Coast. I'd suggest it might be a good idea for him to shut the fuck up, or perhaps try out his anti-establishment money-making scams in the lands of his ancestral forefathers. I understand they're way less tolerant of this kind of thing.
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Is it the curvature of the earth?
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I already told you Tom Daley wasn't involved. So no, he wasn't sucked off.
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I'm pretty sure Tom Daley wasn't involved but by all accounts the bloke was pretty fucked.
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Two fucking poofs having an arsebaby. Nothing to see here, move along.
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I've invited a dozen strangers round for a bukkake evening. 10 quid a head. The missus gets a nice 'meal' and I get 120 quid to spend on gentleman's grooming products. Win:win.
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'beef tallow'? You mean lard. Posh cunt.
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Ah, that's how you happened.
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I'll stick a teaspoon up your fanny for a tenner. Not one of my teaspoons though. Bring your own.
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Fuck me, I thought mine sounded bad, but this is way worse. Is it plugged into a Dansette record player?
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Top nomination. I bought a Bond Electraglide 'as used extensively by The Edge on The Joshua Tree' and it's fucking rubbish. My only hope is that one day he might manage to stick his guitar neck right up Bonio's arse in some bizarre stage accident.
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Or bingo wings.
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Are you taking orders? I'm after a Nordic one. Preferably one that can manage a length. I'll get me didgeridoo
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I always thought Captain Scarlet was on the spectrum. I'll get me mysteron.
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You only go there to gaze longingly at the giant's cock hewn into the chalky hill.
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And they had proper tits in them days, too. Made out of girlflesh.
