King Billy

Who the fuck watches an hour of penguins sliding off the ice swimming around and then waddling back across the ice? What the fuck else would they be doing? Rollerblading? or waiting at the bus stop to go to work in WH Smiths? If I wanted to watch penguins I’d buy a black and white TV but I don’t, so I won’t.

Change channels then. Teletubbies is about to start.

Donald Trump the 45th President of the United States is about to make a speech. I’ve got my MAGA cap on, ten lines of marching powder and a bottle of JD all within reaching distance. And no Im not a cunt.

ANY PATIENTS FOUND TO BE WANKING WILL BE POLITELY ASKED TO PUT IT AWAY.

“Oh hello Mrs Chomondly Warner. I’m Gypps your grievance counsellor. I’m so sorry to hear about your entire family being horribly killed and then incinerated in the blazing wreckage. I couldn’t help noticing that you have a few roof tiles missing and your driveway really needs tarmacking urgently. I’m here to help you through this. Try not to be too down. If you want I can drive you to the bank to get the money now as I know you haven’t got a car anymore. It’s the least I can do, and don’t worry about petrol money, that gold wedding ring will do. You won’t be needing it as your not really married now are you? I’ll drop you at the bus stop so you get home safe and sound luv. Come on chop chop. I haven’t got all day, I’m taking the kids shopping at Harrods later. We’re almost out of caviar. You’re going to need a hobby to take your mind off things. Have you done any bare knuckle fighting?

Or while robbing a bank.

She’s probably got the bit you sold her mum.

Their bollocks?

I think anyone who doesn’t wear at least 3 masks even if they’re sailing solo around the world or walking to the South Pole alone is an incredibly selfish conspiracy theorist and if their granny doesn’t catch the plague then she should be dragged out of her bed and executed by firing squad in the town square, as they clearly don’t deserve to have a granny. Im sure Dr. Hillary and Piers Morgan would agree.

I reckon google has told her to fuck off and let the rest of the world have a go.

Onions aren’t allowed to be moderators.

My sisters not an onion.

An onion won’t nick your wallet after you’ve fucked it.

Nothing. Both are essential ingredients in a doner kebab.

One you put in the ground the other you take out.

To many of her fellow savages she’d be considered a senior citizen, way too old for marriage or even rape. Useful only for cooking and cleaning purposes.

At London 2012 a chink won three gymnastic golds. He’s called Dong Dong.

Liquidised junkies. I wonder if it’s been pitched on Dragons Den? I can picture Deborah Meaden grinning and saying “Im out. Out of my fucking skull. Ha ha ha ha.”

Cannabis is for lazy layabout cunts who think it’s the most interesting topic of conversation ever all day every day, when it’s really the exact opposite so who cares?

How about ‘slightly less’ anal rape?

When I saw the title of this thread I thought..., ‘not another fucking Sam Smith load of bollocks.’

I don’t believe it should be raised as inner city gangs even now use kids under ten to move drugs and weapons around on pushbikes, knowing that if they get caught there is nothing whatsoever the Old Bill can do to them. Imagine the chaos if older kids were let loose on the streets with immunity from any consequences? Would you like to be robbed and stabbed by a 14 year old who laughed and walked away if he was captured?

It may be the case that the law is not applied nowadays as it is written. In my day it was and kids were locked up commonly and that’s just a historical fact. I’m not saying it was the best way to deal with juvenile crime but the current application of the law ie multiple cautions, sometimes as many as twenty simply don’t deter the offenders and don’t protect the victims. But it was surely better than nowadays because serious juvenile crime has rocketed in the last 30 years and the prisons are full of teenagers who’ve been slapped on the wrist so many times that they had no fear of the police or the justice system until they get caught for a really serious offence, usually violent.

Don’t go mad ‘amending your post’ Spot. Think of the hangover in the morning.

Juvenile court, yes many times. And I’ve served a training school order 1 to 3 years and borstal order 6 months to 2 years. Juvenile courts have always been part of the criminal judicial system.