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Jake The Muss

England Cricket Cuntbreeds

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3 hours ago, Fender777 said:

And Bairstow who is starting to show his test match class.

You're the second person to add him to my list, a useful 89 but I think this test is India's for the taking. I think maybe bring Bell back as I don't see what Batty has to offer that he doesn't.

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1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Can't they ask Bob Willis to play? I loved watching him when my dad and brothers had the cricket on.

He was crucial in the miracle of Headingly in 1981, England were 500/1 to win that test at one point but actually went on to win it.

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3 hours ago, ratcum said:

I couldn't take his hair. I sometimes wondered why Brain May was turning out for England

Hair of Brian May, face of a jail daddies wing enforcer. David gower also had a bizarre fluffed polyester lord Fauntleroy hairdo.

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Guest DingTheRioja

Have we lost yet?

The other day I saw a headline with "india collapse" so I'm guessing England have lost by now...

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31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Hair of Brian May, face of a jail daddies wing enforcer. David gower also had a bizarre fluffed polyester lord Fauntleroy hairdo.

I thought Gower was Alan from Thunderbirds. What a strange fuck he was.

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Just now, ratcum said:

I thought Gower was Alan from Thunderbirds. What a strange fuck he was.

I....I...I...don't like it, M...M....Mr Tracey. 

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1 minute ago, Ape said:

I....I...I...don't like it, M...M....Mr Tracey. 

Pod 13 had a lifelike replica of Tin-Tin that Brains made in secret. He often disappeared in there to make, ahem, 'adjustments' to her chassis

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2 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Pod 13 had a lifelike replica of Tin-Tin that Brains made in secret. He often disappeared in there to make, ahem, 'adjustments' to her chassis

I assume these "adjustments" involved his little puppet cock?

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5 minutes ago, ratcum said:

...probably

fwoooarrr - that's given me the fucking 'orn. Dirty little puppet.

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On 21/11/2016 at 8:19 AM, Jiggerycock said:

Well that didn't last long!

Naturally aggressive batsmen going down with a whimper - the dead hand of Alistair Cook's conservative captaincy once more.

No way England are going to defend 283 (No proper seam attack without Broad, all spinners) & looking like Australia are going to wrap up the test in Adelaide, England will be 2-0 down when the Ashes match there next winter ❄️ is complete, 1-0 if we're lucky.

Had a good 0-2 win in the football yesterday so that was good, waited over 10 years for a win there.

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8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Was he the poor bastard stuck on that fucking satalite? 

No, that was John! Alan was the one with big eyes and the funny walk. He drove a yellow hoover underwater

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41 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sounds like John Inman 

Don't start on that one Gyps. Next thing you know Chip will turn up and start going on about mrs Slocombes' pussy. 

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18 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Don't start on that one Gyps. Next thing you know Chip will turn up and start going on about mrs Slocombes' pussy. 

or that posh old bird in All Creatures Great and Small. "Mr Herriot, I want you to examine my Trickywoos"

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9 minutes ago, ratcum said:

or that posh old bird in All Creatures Great and Small. "Mr Herriot, I want you to examine my Trickywoos"

A woman in the next street to us has a dog called Fifi bug. I hope the poor little sod is agile enough to jump up on her kitchen worktop and piss in her kettle.

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On 20/11/2016 at 3:14 PM, Jiggerycock said:

Well Cook was never going to abandon the habit of a lifetime and do something astonishing was he?

It's going to be Cricket's equivalent of 'parking the bus'. It's not going to be pretty or effective and we'll be bowled out just after tea on the final day, going down defending rather than trying to win - a typical Cook captaincy display basically.

I think it's safe to say this game is lost, why the hell Batty is playing is beyond me, too old for a test match in India, his figures are expensive already.

This is an absolute disaster, India will win this by 8 wickets if we're lucky, back in the summer Pakistan had a 100 run first innings lead and we went on to win so it can be done but not this time unfortunately.

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6 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

India serving up a batting masterclass.

8 wickets?

It'll be by 'an innings and.....'

Its looking that way, they could wrap it up in the morning session, I certainly won't be getting up to watch it. Get rid of Cook, his batting and captaincy is wank.

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2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

What a load of fucking spineless wank!

Yep, 2-0 down and can't win the series, I can see it being 4-0, 3-0 if we are lucky, can't see us winning one, typical England, probably use tiredness as an excuse but they get £6k for a test.

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On 11/26/2016 at 7:23 PM, Gong Farmer said:

I listen to BBC radio 4 LW on the way to work in the mornings where they have the fucking Cricket on. It consists of a couple of cunts exchanging a diatribe of shit platitudes and boring as fuck comments. Who the fuck makes a point of getting up at the time of the morning to listen to that load of utter wank?

I for one have lost interest in this mongbrained series.

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9 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

Its looking that way, they could wrap it up in the morning session, I certainly won't be getting up to watch it. Get rid of Cook, his batting and captaincy is wank.

I would keep Cook as a batsman but a new captain is a must. I would go with Stuart Broad as he is an aggressive cuntbreed.

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5 hours ago, Fender777 said:

I would keep Cook as a batsman but a new captain is a must. I would go with Stuart Broad as he is an aggressive cuntbreed.

As long as he is fit to play as he's absent in this test, what's cost us is not having a proper seam attack in this test, they have bought in a 39 year old spinner for possibly the best fast bowler in the world (talk about negative)

Its looking like India may have to go into bat and knock off a few runs but I will believe it then I see it.

Once this match ends today, there is a 9 day break as the next one in Mumbai starts next Thursday. Shame we didn't get those last four wickets in the first test as it's now killed the series.

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