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scotty

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About scotty

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    Unequivocal Cunt

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  1. Lisa has 750 friends on facebook. A week later, she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Huge tits.
  2. Not bad mate, if a little complicated. Looking forward to the munichs game next weekend.
  3. ...and the Sherlock Holmes award for 2017 goes to........ [drumroll].........Noakes!!!!
  4. Read 'eavens's post again, then repeat what you've just proclaimed quince. He's funny enough usually, but definitely needs to steer a clear course away from political waters.
  5. Fucksake.
  6. "What's your all time favourite opening line to a movie?" asked my wife. I thought for a moment, and said "I've come to fix the washing machine."
  7. To be honest baws, I actually was about to nom the blair cunt myself, then I saw that ding had already done it. Fair play to him imho.
  8. He's right though, blair is a fucking cunt. It's mind-boggling that the grinning fucker thinks he can dictate to this country any more, and for blair of all people to suggest that widespread public protests ought to have an effect on a government agenda... words fail me. Somebody phone isis and give them blairs address, I'll even chip in a few quid myself.
  9. "No daddy, please don't make me!!" pleaded my young son. "It tastes horrible and smells of wee!" "That's an awful thing to say," I scolded him. "Now stop being so silly and give your nan a kiss."
  10. I'm not saying my girlfriend is flat-chested. But the label on her bra reads "Contents may settle in transit".
  11. Quite.
  12. I found a hole in my trainer big enough for my finger. She made an official complaint, and now I'm banned from the gym.
  13. I'm investing 50% of my portfolio in Cancer Research UK. I've heard it's a growth industry.
  14. I bet he uses Head and Shoulders.
  15. "I sometimes wonder if you even know what my face looks like." Said my girlfriends tits.