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January is a cunt - an icy cunt, that bites your arse.


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Guest JackoTC

I hope Jacko, as a proud Scotsman, that this isn't a prelude to you bemoaning weather that would be considered a mini heat wave in Kinlochleven.

And I go to Kinlochleven 2-3 times a years as my mum's holiday home is there.

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Certainly not. Living "darn sarf" means every January is a veritable heatwave for me. I take the dog for a walk wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and some Amber Solaire (me, not the dog). And I don't even have a dog. Nothing short of anarchy.

As long as you continue to have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I'll be satisfied you haven't lost your Caledonian way. England needs Celtic heroes such as yourself to help stem the evil tide of metrosexuality that has been sweeping these southern shores.
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Guest JackoTC

As long as you continue to have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I'll be satisfied you haven't lost your Caledonian way. England needs Celtic heroes such as yourself to help stem the evil tide of metrosexuality that has been sweeping these southern shores.

Deco, you are jumping to conclusions. I regard my relationship with booze as perfectly natural. (Newcastle Brown's and Rum and Cokes at (pretend) darts last night). But I'm no stranger to L'Oreal for men hydration cream, nor Nivea Balms. Only trouble is, they either float on top of the vodka, or sink to the bottom ?

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Deco, you are jumping to conclusions. I regard my relationship with booze as perfectly natural.

You can't kid a kidder, Jacko. I'm quietly confident that you live up to the vivid stereotype I've got in my mind. Flame haired, violent, kilt wearing and with the capacity to drink enough raw alcohol to put a ruski to shame. You sir, are a credit to the union and a true British hero. Frank likes you.... A lot. And that is a testament in itself. Keep fighting the good fight.
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Guest JackoTC

You can't kid a kidder, Jacko. I'm quietly confident that you live up to the vivid stereotype I've got in my mind. Flame haired, violent, kilt wearing and with the capacity to drink enough raw alcohol to put a ruski to shame. You sir, are a credit to the union and a true British hero. Frank likes you.... A lot. And that is a testament in itself. Keep fighting the good fight.

Well, I do have more than a passing similarity. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me on here. Fuck it, I'm off for a swift half and maybe a wee fight to celebrate. 

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What ? Can the Devil speak true ?

 

Foul hags spake unto me in rhyme but I sussed their bloody purpose. "The Fiddler on The Youth is dead" they said.

"Ah" said I, "you mean that fat cunt Leon Brittan has snuffed it"

"You jammy git" they said

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Guest JackoTC

Foul hags spake unto me in rhyme but I sussed their bloody purpose. "The Fiddler on The Youth is dead" they said.

"Ah" said I, "you mean that fat cunt Leon Brittan has snuffed it"

"You jammy git" they said

Please stay on topic

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And I go to Kinlochleven 2-3 times a years as my mum's holiday home is there.

One of my Grandads was from there and I still have family in the area. I'm incredibly proud, its because of him and my Irish Grandfather that I have officially got the most diverse gene pool in Norfolk. And also why I am the county's most violent alcoholic.
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One of my Grandads was from there and I still have family in the area. I'm incredibly proud, its because of him and my Irish Grandfather that I have officially got the most diverse gene pool in Norfolk. And also why I am the county's most violent alcoholic.


I know the area well. The fishing is good.
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I know the area well. The fishing is good.

It is indeed, it's a beautiful part of the world. I started to act like the plastic paddy's you get in America a few years back by embracing my long lost heritage a bit too much. I changed my name to McDecimus, called everyone pal, solely drank irn bru and was seeing Jimmy everywhere I fucking looked.
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It is indeed, it's a beautiful part of the world. I started to act like the plastic paddy's you get in America a few years back by embracing my long lost heritage a bit too much. I changed my name to McDecimus, called everyone pal, solely drank irn bru and was seeing Jimmy everywhere I fucking looked.


You need to add Buckfast to your list, otherwise it doesn't count.
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