Decimus Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 You know the sort. You innocently declare that you've been listening to a bit of Oasis, little realising you're about to face an onslaught that combines Hitleresque Mein Kampf ranting and the hipster criticisms of the chief editor at NME fucking magazine. It's true that every cunt is a critic these days, but these wankers take the fucking garibaldi. They'll bore you for fucking hours declaring that they haven't sold out to commercial markets, and how they like listening to experimental hardcore Belgian bebop Jazz fusion. Tell them you like Ocean Colour Scene and they'll scoff that you're one of the crowd, and how you should listen to some tree hugging cunt who lives in a tent, and recorded his seminal album entirely in Albanian opera, singing it backwards to boot. If I had my way, they'd all be forced to commit mass suicide by smashing their vinyl collection and slashing their warbling throats with the shards. There's a reason that the ear bleeding fucking bollocks they listen to isn't commercial. Its because its fucking shit. Cunts. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Nothing wrong with a bit of commercial or mainstream music. On the esoteric side I like the Malayan pigmy nose flute but you can stick pan pipes up your arse.I hear that Judge likes to play in a pink oboe and maroon bassoon duet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Jools Holland is a cunt, but the nodding, finger-clicking cunts in his audience are even bigger cunts. The oily wanker himself is getting paid to be there, but the audience had a fucking choice. That's where free will gets you, Descartes, you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Jools Holland is a cunt, but the nodding, finger-clicking cunts in his audience are even bigger cunts. The oily wanker himself is getting paid to be there, but the audience had a fucking choice. That's where free will gets you, Descartes, you cunt.I met him years ago baws, and believe it or not he's actually a thoroughly decent chap. I do get irritated by his "hootenanny" shenanigans though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 (edited) You innocently declare that you've been listening to a bit of Oasis, As PunkApe is sat on the naughty step...Oasis? Dear god, your [sic] a fucking serf aren't you!What will you reveal next? That you went to Dublin over the weekend for a big footie outing with the Barmy Army, no doubt smashing back copious pints of Carling and waggling your John Thomas around in public? Edited June 9, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 I was going to give a thoroughly reasoned defence of an individual's right to their own 'taste' and how there is a hierarchy of 'cool' within the music world which can be summarised 'Neil Young good, One Direction bad', bearing reference to all due caveats, riders and referring m'learned friends to para4 subsect.6 clause 5 etc, ad infinitum, et al But it IS a tautology that Neil Young is indeed 'good' by any yardstick and yer Gaga's, Sam Smiths, Jessie J's are nothing more than shockingly over-rated show offs, marketed to a gullible world by Svengali's who would harvest their own organs for a quick buck (which, as the purchaser of Simon Cowell's spleen, I can verify).So, well, Keep On Rocking In The Free World oh my people right here right now - you know what I mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 What will you reveal next? That you went to Dublin over the weekend for a big footie outing with the Barmy Army, no doubt smashing back copious pints of Carling and waggling your John Thomas around in public?Actually, Bill, ever being one for seizing an opportunity, I decided to get myself down to The Punkape Estate for a bit of poaching whilst he's temporarily absent in Roops' dungeon.I caught myself three rats, five cockroaches and hepatitis C from the used needles in his bedsit sink. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 music snobs cunts !, music is subject to what mood the listener is in ,you maybe quietly sitting at home reading, or having it large in a club, sometimes you want shitty bubblegum pop, other times classical and everything in between. To have an opinion on other peoples music choice is ridiculous. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 music snobs cunts !, music is subject to what mood the listener is in ,you maybe quietly sitting at home reading, or having it large in a club, sometimes you want shitty bubblegum pop, other times classical and everything in between. To have an opinion on other peoples music choice is ridiculous. Exactly, Edders. Although saying that, I'm sure that we are all in agreement when I state that Phil Collins is a cunt of the absolute highest fucking order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 music snobs cunts !, music is subject to what mood the listener is in ,you maybe quietly sitting at home reading, or having it large in a club, sometimes you want shitty bubblegum pop, other times classical and everything in between. To have an opinion on other peoples music choice is ridiculous. True - but it's also bloody good fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 I know a few pretentious bastards like this; turning their noses up at bands that don't release their latest EP on limited cock-shaped wax cylinder.Good tunes is good tunes you fucking shit eating cunts. If I want to listen to Enya whilst crying with my cock out, then who are you to say I can't do it on the train? It's fucking madness. This country, honestly.I digress somewhat, but I've made my point I think. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Jools it a class A cunt, can't stand the wanker and his shite programmes, he gets decent musicians on, then goes and fucks up their gig.Phil Collins is a wanker since he left Genesis, and yes, I do love a bit of abacab..McCartney is a Class A+ cunt, a rich one, but still a cunt, never really got on with the beatles no matter what anyone says, they did a few decent songs, but they're not fucking gods in my eyes...Modern day "R'n'B" is FUCKING NOT FUCKING R AND FUCKING B YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!! IT'S FUCKING POP FUCKING SHIT!!... and it's anodyne... give me a 10k synth, a passably attractive SLIM bird, preferably with some ethnicity/bisexual/attitiude etc and about 2 hours and I could come up with something just about as good as they can.. oh and before I forget, I need the Companys' back catalogue to rip off 3 different classics so I can fuck them up into this shit....But... some cunt is buying this shite cos they're all just a tad richer than me... and.. it's like wine snobs... I like good wine, a really good Rioja, but sometimes I want some anodyne white shite with fizz in it to sit watching the sun go down in the garden of an evening... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Jo Wiley was the worst. You could have farted, recorded it, played it 24 hours a day but as long as you labelled it 'new music' she'd have fucking loved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Modern day "R'n'B" is FUCKING NOT FUCKING R AND FUCKING B YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!! IT'S FUCKING POP FUCKING SHIT!!Something nobody has so far been able to give me an answer to, why did what we once thought was R&B morph into the tedious plastic soul that's called R&B now? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Exactly, Edders. Although saying that, I'm sure that we are all in agreement when I state that Phil Collins is a cunt of the absolute highest fucking order.Yes but he could bang the skins pretty well. The self indulgent solo stuff made my ears go on strike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Something nobody has so far been able to give me an answer to, why did what we once thought was R&B morph into the tedious plastic soul that's called R&B now?because some utter cunt in some wankstained record company office thought so... apparently it's "Contemporary R&B" not actual R&B... basically any poppy crap by blacks (not now obligatory, since some whitey won an award at the MOBOs), can be called that as far as the usual definitions go by.......nevermind the multi-billion versions of garage, hip-hop garage, soul garage, R&B garage, UK garage, speed garage, 2-step garage, dub-step, baseline garage, future garage, prefab garage, temporary garage, shell garage, tesco garage, house, ambient house, acid fucking house, terraced house, detached house and no fucking house.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Jo Wiley was the worst. You could have farted, recorded it, played it 24 hours a day but as long as you labelled it 'new music' she'd have fucking loved it.I hate that grinning cunt with a passion, looks like a dirty old goer you would meet at a festival, with mud in her knickers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 I hate that grinning cunt with a passion, looks like a dirty old goer you would meet at a festival, with mud in her knickers.t'wasn't me Officer.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm no music snob as I like most music for different moods/times/places but one thing that fucks me off is modern jazz shite,its like having an over active blue bottle buzzing about in you inner ear,utter wank and anyone who tries to tell me i'm wrong must be fucking mutton jeff.i'd rather listen to pinky and perky on acid than this audible wank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Jools it a class A cunt, can't stand the wanker and his shite programmes, he gets decent musicians on, then goes and fucks up their gig.Phil Collins is a wanker since he left Genesis, and yes, I do love a bit of abacab..McCartney is a Class A+ cunt, a rich one, but still a cunt, never really got on with the beatles no matter what anyone says, they did a few decent songs, but they're not fucking gods in my eyes...Modern day "R'n'B" is FUCKING NOT FUCKING R AND FUCKING B YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!! IT'S FUCKING POP FUCKING SHIT!!... and it's anodyne... give me a 10k synth, a passably attractive SLIM bird, preferably with some ethnicity/bisexual/attitiude etc and about 2 hours and I could come up with something just about as good as they can.. oh and before I forget, I need the Companys' back catalogue to rip off 3 different classics so I can fuck them up into this shit....But... some cunt is buying this shite cos they're all just a tad richer than me... and.. it's like wine snobs... I like good wine, a really good Rioja, but sometimes I want some anodyne white shite with fizz in it to sit watching the sun go down in the garden of an evening...Got to agree with you and Dec on Mr. Collins there, although like yourself I'm partial to some of the older Genesis stuff. In fact "Seconds Out" is one of the only exceptions to my opinion that all live albums are fucking dogshit. However, since his venture into Invisible Touch era Genesis and beyond, not to mention his own solo shite, I find as much point to him as a condom machine in Games Workshop. He should've packed it in yonks ago, as his dislocated vertebrae ended up showing him; the dizzy prick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Got to agree with you and Dec on Mr. Collins there, although like yourself I'm partial to some of the older Genesis stuff. In fact "Seconds Out" is one of the only exceptions to my opinion that all live albums are fucking dogshit. However, since his venture into Invisible Touch era Genesis and beyond, not to mention his own solo shite, I find as much point to him as a condom machine in Games Workshop. He should've packed it in yonks ago, as his dislocated vertebrae ended up showing him; the dizzy prick.I think Abacab was about the last half-decent gasp, it was, however, what got me listening to them in the first place, then I regressed backwards... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm no music snob as I like most music for different moods/times/places but one thing that fucks me off is modern jazz shite,its like having an over active blue bottle buzzing about in you inner ear,utter wank and anyone who tries to tell me i'm wrong must be fucking mutton jeff.i'd rather listen to pinky and perky on acid than this audible wankdidn't jazz die in about 1970..?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 didn't jazz die in about 1970..??He has died on here a few times 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 He has died on here a few times Careful, Edders. He might draw a humorous picture of you or assign you a place in the merry band of bozo's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 didn't jazz die in about 1970..??It was being played in that pub opposite the railway station at Chester in the early 1980s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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