camberwell gypsy Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I though I'd start a general nom that encompasses things that we have seen during the day that has made us think "what the fuck"? An occurance that has us questioning whether what we saw actually happened. Something that we need to share with fellow Cunts Corner members but don't want to start a nom just for that.This might die a death or it might be good but sod it; lets go.Went to the local supermarket and saw by the entrance a bloke on the phone, indulged in chav speak, with his hand stuffed down the front of his trousers touching his crown jewels.Bad enough, but 5 minutes later I was at the bakery section after some apple turnovers and who should come round the counter ending his phone call but the ball handler extrordinaire himself. "Can I help you madame". says he, "You must be joking" says I. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 they have to get their yeast from somewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Reminds me of years ago when I was a young lass buying a vanilla slice for my mother from the local bakery. They didn't bother with tongs and gloves in them days. The woman serving coughed into her hand, picked up the vanilla slice and put it in the bag. Too naive and embarrassed to say anything I just paid for the cake and left the shop. I dumped it in somebody's garden on the way home. Dirty cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 they have to get their yeast from somewhereFuck, well that's the last time I buy a farmhouse loaf from there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Applauding this catch-all nomination, however I think a 'What The Fuck????' subsection of 'Supermarkets' might get a tad oversubscribed.These fucking shit-pits are a veritable smorgasbord of cuntery. From the lack of hygiene outlined above, to the well-documented (see noms passim) cuntery-fuck of 'The Checkout Twostep' as one attempts to deal with the clubcard-slash-cashback-slash-vouchers-slash-old-dears-twitting-on hell on earth that goes on there, to the general air of bemused incompetence essayed by a good 99% of the droogs that grace these monuments to crassness.And why does everyone else there keep walking into me? Have I become invisible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Fuck, well that's the last time I buy a farmhouse loaf from there It's the seeded batch you have to avoid Gyps. Sunflower seeds make good hiding places for crabs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I saw a bloke shitting in the street in North London the other day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I though I'd start a general nom that encompasses things that we have seen during the day that has made us think "what the fuck"? An occurance that has us questioning whether what we saw actually happened. Something that we need to share with fellow Cunts Corner members but don't want to start a nom just for that.This might die a death or it might be good but sod it; lets go.Went to the local supermarket and saw by the entrance a bloke on the phone, indulged in chav speak, with his hand stuffed down the front of his trousers touching his crown jewels.Bad enough, but 5 minutes later I was at the bakery section after some apple turnovers and who should come round the counter ending his phone call but the ball handler extrordinaire himself. "Can I help you madame". says he, "You must be joking" says I.good nom gyp, sounds like Stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 There's a lad down our Tescos, he's one of those, er, how do I say it.... care in the community types, a proper one, I think he may be slightly Downs but it's not exactly the kind of opening gambit to a conversation... "hey mate, you got Downs' then?"... Anyway... he was stacking the tins of peas or whatever, sticks his hand down his arse for a good scratch, then carries on with the tinned tomatoes.... took a lot of effort not to puke there and then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Applauding this catch-all nomination, however I think a 'What The Fuck????' subsection of 'Supermarkets' might get a tad oversubscribed.These fucking shit-pits are a veritable smorgasbord of cuntery. From the lack of hygiene outlined above, to the well-documented (see noms passim) cuntery-fuck of 'The Checkout Twostep' as one attempts to deal with the clubcard-slash-cashback-slash-vouchers-slash-old-dears-twitting-on hell on earth that goes on there, to the general air of bemused incompetence essayed by a good 99% of the droogs that grace these monuments to crassness.And why does everyone else there keep walking into me? Have I become invisible?Sorry didn't see you there. I hate the self checkout nazi machines "item removed from bagging area" just call me a fucking shoplifter why dont you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Sorry didn't see you there. I hate the self checkout nazi machines "item removed from bagging area" just call me a fucking shoplifter why dont you."Approval needed". I'm older than all the spotty unevolved checkout staff collectively. Let me take my booze and fuck off you cunt. Rage Against the fucking Machine indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I saw a bloke shitting in the street in North London the other day.Was he German, by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 "Approval needed". I'm older than all the spotty unevolved checkout staff collectively. Let me take my booze and fuck off you cunt. Rage Against the fucking Machine indeed. Rage Against the Machine are hypocritical cunts. All about bringing down the establishment,shutting Wall Street down for a day etc etc.At one time signed to Epic,owned by Sony. One of the biggest music companies in the world.Zack de la Rocha is a (very rich) hypocritical cunt.Staying on the thread,I say "What the Fuck????" when I hear them played. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 good nom gyp, sounds like StickersI have a banning order, stopping me from entering all my local supermarkets, after the zucini and KY jelly incident of 2009, so you're thinking of the wrong cat I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 I have a banning order, stopping me from entering all my local supermarkets, after the zucini and KY jelly incident of 2009, so you're thinking of the wrong cat I'm afraid. I bet they put the zucchini back on the shelf afterwards. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 It's the seeded batch you have to avoid Gyps. Sunflower seeds make good hiding places for crabs. sabre toothed crotch crickets. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 I saw a bloke shitting in the street in North London the other day.The dirty bastard. I hope you kicked him in the cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 The dirty bastard. I hope you kicked him in the cunt.was he wiping his arse with the telegraph ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 28, 2015 Report Share Posted June 28, 2015 was he wiping his arse with the telegraph ?Or a menu from the Bangladesh all you can eat for a fiver establishment where he works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted June 29, 2015 Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 was he wiping his arse with the telegraph ?yes, the letters page, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Sitting in my back garden sipping an Argentinian malbrec, enjoying the peace when all of a sudden I hear from 2 doors up the Vietnamese kid pulls into the families drive in his souped up fucking shitheap of a car. It sounds like a F1 car but looks like Thunderbird 4 with an exhaust pipe so wide a small child chimney sweep from the 19 century could crawl up it. Now does this little turd stop the engine and get out? Does he shite. He fucking sits there for 5 minutes gunning the engine, making sure that everyone knows the little cunt has arrived home. His dad looks like Burt Kwoak as well. Cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Fuck me, were I to commence to relaying the utter cuntery I've witnessed recently, you'd all be clamouring for a nuclear strike to assure none of the fuckwits make it to your areas. It's a cross I'll bear in silence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Sitting in my back garden sipping an Argentinian malbrec, enjoying the peace when all of a sudden I hear from 2 doors up the Vietnamese kid pulls into the families drive in his souped up fucking shitheap of a car. It sounds like a F1 car but looks like Thunderbird 4 with an exhaust pipe so wide a small child chimney sweep from the 19 century could crawl up it. Now does this little turd stop the engine and get out? Does he shite. He fucking sits there for 5 minutes gunning the engine, making sure that everyone knows the little cunt has arrived home. His dad looks like Burt Kwoak as well. CuntA big fuck off potato shoved deep in his exhaust will choke the engine so it eventually cuts out. He'll spend some good money trying to sort out the problem if it's done right.Failing that,hit the cunt with something big. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 A big fuck off potato shoved deep in his exhaust will choke the engine so it eventually cuts out. He'll spend some good money trying to sort out the problem if it's done right.Failing that,hit the cunt with something big.I'd need a sack of Maris pipers to stuff that exhaust. Something big? I'll use Fwanks head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 I'd need a sack of Maris pipers to stuff that exhaust. Something big? I'll use Fwanks headIf a potato will cause the motor to sieze, what if an object of artificial materials, say a silicone double ender, the heat melts said silicone, and gobs up the works, it would cost a great deal more than just some exhaust work to repair. Plus, the cunt would have to explain the double ender in his tail pipe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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