Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Let me set the scene:Me and the missus are departing home from a holiday. We're a little bit pissed off already, as we departing back to a rainy UK full of cunts, and stuck on a budget airline surrounded by a bunch of northern peasants.However, we knew what we were in for when we booked the tickets with EasyJet, so I can't complain about paying 10 euros for an in-flight bacon sandwich, while sitting in a luminous orange seat like some kind of cunt on death row. My objection relates to the passenger who we had the misfortune to be sat next to. Before the plane has even taken off, the Spanish cunt had already fallen asleep. The speed at which she succumbed into deep sleep indicated to me that she had probably shoved about 15 valiums up her arse in Departures.Not the end of the world, you might say? Well, you can fuck off.Her head lolls to face our direction almost immediately. Her gormless mouth is wide open. She begins to breath deeply.Jesus fucking Christ, the smell. The smell! I've plucked every fucking hair out of my nostrils and syringed TCP up there for 2 days now, and I can still smell it!I think the best way I can describe it is that it smelled like she had rimmed every stray cat in Spain, only taking breaks to gargle that tar-like juice that collects in wet ashtrays, before brushing her teeth with urine from all-inclusive breakfast bar urinals.I know she doesn't speak English, and aside from punching the cunt in the face, I just can't wake her up. Eventually she wakes of her own accord, pulls out a bag of cheesy fucking quavers, munches the lot down, and goes back to sleep. Thank fuck she started breathing the other direction across the gangway, ruining some other poor cunt's flight home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 You horrible cunt Sticks.Can't ProfB even have a holiday without someone complaining about her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 You get what you pay for Sticky. What was it, hundred quid all in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Yes, another example of some tight fisted cunt paying for a half of cider and moaning like fuck because he didn't get a magnum of champagne. You're on Easyjet......what the fuck did you expect? Have you ever been on a National Express coach.? They are as cheap as fuck but you have to share the space with some of the scummiest pieces of shite on the planet. It's like being stuck in the middle of one of those zombie films, and it goes on for fucking hours. Never again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 I'd choose Easyjet over Malaysian Airlines every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Yes, another example of some tight fisted cunt paying for a half of cider and moaning like fuck because he didn't get a magnum of champagne. You're on Easyjet......what the fuck did you expect? Have you ever been on a National Express coach.? They are as cheap as fuck but you have to share the space with some of the scummiest pieces of shite on the planet. It's like being stuck in the middle of one of those zombie films, and it goes on for fucking hours. Never again. National Express? Transport of Kings! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 When you're sad and feeling blueWith nothing better to doDon't just sit there feeling stressedTake a trip on the National Express, the National Express, let's go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 When your sad and feeling blueWait to the pilot goes to the loo.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 EVERY flight has at least a dozen of the vile, disgusting cunts Stickers describes. I think he should be grateful he didn't pay for first class fares AND get stuck next to the human sludge pile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 I don't think its asking too much not to have some Jenny Foreigner's poor hygiene regime inflicted onto civilized society or Bill.You should have ejected the bitch over Calais. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 When you're sad and feeling blueWith nothing better to doDon't just sit there feeling stressedTake a trip on the National Express, the National Express, let's goFucking hate that song Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 I don't think its asking too much not to have some Jenny Foreigner's poor hygiene regime inflicted onto civilized society or Bill.You should have ejected the bitch over Calais.in some societies, the soaps, aftershaves and hygiene products we use are enough for the natives to shove red hot pokers in their nostrils and eyeballs, just to end their own suffering. It's all a matter of perspective , really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Fucking hate that song is it the B side of Casey Jones Canonball Express? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted August 7, 2015 Report Share Posted August 7, 2015 Easyjet? Spain? Fucking hell Billy boy,I had you down as someone a little bit higher up the social scale,bet your West ham shirt blended in beautifully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 8, 2015 Report Share Posted August 8, 2015 Easyjet? Spain? Fucking hell Billy boy,I had you down as someone a little bit higher up the social scale,bet your West ham shirt blended in beautifully.It wasn't mainland Spain Neil me old chap, I can assure you the whole affair was fairly cultural once I'd gotten away from all the fucking northern cunts finding somewhere that sold chips and gravy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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