Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I went to see a medium once. Paid my money, went in and she was tiny. Nowhere near medium. I asked for a refund.At least you didn't get a cetacean in a paisley house dress and cheap plastic jewelry telling you a fit bird will enter your life mysteriously whilst burning candles scented of minge crust and arse sweat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 I was a victim of an evil poltergeist for years. Sometimes I woke up to find that the entity had vomited over my face and hair and pissed over me and the bed. This went on everytime I'd had a drink. Thankfully cutting down finally got rid of this evil entity.You cut down on sleep? Fair play.. more time for drinking...At least you didn't get a cetacean in a paisley house dress and cheap plastic jewelry telling you a fit bird will enter your life mysteriously whilst burning candles scented of minge crust and arse sweat. ..trouble i.. that fit bird was in a Police uniform, and it wasn't the stripper version, it was the "Evening Sir, why are you dressed like that, here, sir?" version.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 You cut down on sleep? Fair play.. more time for drinking.....trouble i.. that fit bird was in a Police uniform, and it wasn't the stripper version, it was the "Evening Sir, why are you dressed like that, here, sir?" version....Oh my, that is cause for reflection. Still, it's a better option than the over-aggressive cunt holding his nightstick like he would his cock when approaching a common slapper for a free shag or an arrest. When the lass gives you the cavity search, let her know it's the best ever, it'll work to your advantage later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 At least you didn't get a cetacean in a paisley house dress and cheap plastic jewelry telling you a fit bird will enter your life mysteriously whilst burning candles scented of minge crust and arse sweat. Is my mum still doing that? I'll have a word with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 I went to see Mr. Acorah at the Theatre Royal in Norwich a few years back with a couple of my mates for a laugh. I shit you not, this was something he actually said and it was lapped up by the gullible cunts in the audience as definitive proof of his abilities:Derek: The spirits have told me you went to the supermarket this week.Gullible old crone: Oh my god, yes I did!Derek: The spirits have told me that you bought a bag of potatoes but you lost them before you got home.Gullible old crone: Ermmm...well, no.Derek: My mistake, they said that you WILL lose a bag of potatoes, not that you have, the next time you go.Cue wild applause and looks of admiration on the faces of the resident fucking idiots. People will believe anything if they want to believe it, and charlatans like Acorah exploit grief for profit. Fucking disgraceful. I have seen the cunt on TV. Dripping in 3 carat gold, which he most likely lifted from the audience. Oozing market stall streak and low cunning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 I tried a ouija board when I was in my first year of secondary school. In a dire moment of sheer need, I consulted the spirits and asked "Will I get a shag this weekend?". The planchette went from "H" straight to "A", then back again, and repeated for ten fucking minutes before I snapped the board and fucked it out the window. Ghosts are cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 I tried a ouija board when I was in my first year of secondary school. In a dire moment of sheer need, I consulted the spirits and asked "Will I get a shag this weekend?". The planchette went from "H" straight to "A", then back again, and repeated for ten fucking minutes before I snapped the board and fucked it out the window. Ghosts are cunts.I think a modicum of gratitude is in order, because it didn't call you Keith and instruct you to kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Done a few seances, never a-fucking-gain though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 I think a modicum of gratitude is in order, because it didn't call you Keith and instruct you to kill yourself. Fat chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 4, 2015 Report Share Posted September 4, 2015 Done a few seances, never a-fucking-gain though. Was it low pay or ungrateful audience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 4, 2015 Report Share Posted September 4, 2015 Was it low pay or ungrateful audience?Joking aside. I don't understand or know what it was during the seances that I was involved in and I don't want to know or understand what it was. I'm just keeping well fucking clear of anything like that in future and I'd advise anyone else to do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 Joking aside. I don't understand or know what it was during the seances that I was involved in and I don't want to know or understand what it was. I'm just keeping well fucking clear of anything like that in future and I'd advise anyone else to do the same. Yep, keep clear.... of gullible cunts and those who are trying to part them from their money...Lord Bowie of Glitterdom was right.. ashes to ashes.. that's all we are, no ghosts, ghouls or extremely fucking vauge messages from Great Aunt Ethel.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 Yep, keep clear.... of gullible cunts and those who are trying to part them from their money...Lord Bowie of Glitterdom was right.. ashes to ashes.. that's all we are, no ghosts, ghouls or extremely fucking vauge messages from Great Aunt Ethel....Except that it had absolutely nothing to do with the parting money whatsoever. Just a group of friends dabbling in something they didn't understand including a level headed police officer that was the first to need a stiff drink after the event. Like I said I don't understand what we were playing with other than whatever it was it wasn't like anything I'd experienced previously. I'm still very skeptical on anything like that and intend to stay skeptical by just leaving it well alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 Bloody Victorian con trick, used to great effect during and after world war one. There were an awful lot of people who had missing in action letters sent home who were desperate enough for information to be preyed on by these fucking leeches and parasites. The whole charlatanical practise is not harmless and should be outlawed, it hurts people emotionally and sometimes mentally in the long run and fills them with false hopes and false deliverance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Chancing cunts praying on people's gullibility and weakness, the more of the bastards die the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Joking aside. I don't understand or know what it was during the seances that I was involved in and I don't want to know or understand what it was. I'm just keeping well fucking clear of anything like that in future and I'd advise anyone else to do the same. You wouldnt like my gaff Gong. Castle Gobbler is haunted to fuck. Poltergeists are cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Except that it had absolutely nothing to do with the parting money whatsoever. Just a group of friends dabbling in something they didn't understand including a level headed police officer that was the first to need a stiff drink after the event. Like I said I don't understand what we were playing with other than whatever it was it wasn't like anything I'd experienced previously. I'm still very skeptical on anything like that and intend to stay skeptical by just leaving it well alone. Your group of friends, were they dressed like the village people? A copper, a red indian, construction worker and a bloke in leathers ?Were you given a kebab at any stage of the evening? I`m pretty sure i`ve saw footage of this on a niche website somewhere. If memory serves your arsehole was like a fresh bullet wound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Your group of friends, were they dressed like the village people? A copper, a red indian, construction worker and a bloke in leathers ?Were you given a kebab at any stage of the evening? I`m pretty sure i`ve saw footage of this on a niche website somewhere. If memory serves your arsehole was like a fresh bullet wound.I actually heard you saying that in a camp and poofy voice. I won't apologize for assuming you to be a shirt lifter. Fuck off you raving poofter, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Be nice you cunt, you reached me that on a plate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Be nice you cunt, you reached me that on a plate. No I fucking didn't, you've obviously got poofery on the mind you filthy Freudian slipping shit merchant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 I tried a ouija board when I was in my first year of secondary school. In a dire moment of sheer need, I consulted the spirits and asked "Will I get a shag this weekend?". The planchette went from "H" straight to "A", then back again, and repeated for ten fucking minutes before I snapped the board and fucked it out the window. Ghosts are cunts.It was probably the native American spirit Speaking Bollocks just raising the spirits with his singing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 You wouldnt like my gaff Gong. Castle Gobbler is haunted to fuck. Poltergeists are cunts.I'm sure I've got one of those cunts 'not' living here, the fucker hides my car keys and doesn't flush the karzy after straining it's spuds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 A bigger load of bollocks I've yet to see. These cunts are nothing more than conning cunts as has already been pointed out.Outrageous Snatch! Lady Vera Fart Teller has never been known to be wrong, and all it costs is 50p and 4lbs of figs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 I'm sure I've got one of those cunts 'not' living here, the fucker hides my car keys and doesn't flush the karzy after straining it's spuds.Have you ruled out sleepwalking and spouse activity? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Have you ruled out sleepwalking and spouse activity? Spouse activity? What's that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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