Spiders

[southerncunt]

my mrs the sheep, you mean?

Who knows? Probably off in some cheap NZ wine haze.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

That trapdoor bloke is an ugly fucking cunt, isn't he?  Found this one on the bird eating spider, and couldn't believe my fucking eyes.  Forums dedicated to discussing these bastard fucking creatures, this pic had several responses saying they get even larger:

No offence, mate, but I'll be taking a pass on that big spider expedition down under.  

[scotty]

Nobody's seen mine since I built that new patio. 

[Cuntybaws]

Forgive me if i divert attention from your stalker-like obsession with my winkle activity but any cunt who brings one of those bastards round to my drum will get a bread knife in their throat. I have faced Hells Angels, Millwall and the ICF but nothing is guaranteed to reduce me to a terrified little girl more than a fucking arachnid. I can't even say or write the S word........it makes me feel sick with fear. One time i was staying in a hotel and i came out of the shower to find a huge arachnid scuttling across the carpet. Obviously i couldn't jump on it with bare feet so i had to watch it escape under the bed. I spent 2 hours looking for the fucker before i went to reception and asked for another room. They thought i was a raving poof but fortunately they had another room. if they hadn't i would have headed for the nearest park bench. I have no idea where this morbid fear comes from but i note that others have a similar fear of Crane Flies. I can see the similarities but, strangely enough, i can pick those up in my hand and drop them out of the window. None of it makes any sense to me but it's there and there's fuck all i can do about it. Somebody recently told me that they hate the smell of Horse Chestnuts and if you spread them around it keeps the cunts out. It's probably total bullshit but i'm going to try it anyway. Fuck me i'd spread horseshit around the house if i thought it would keep those bastards away from me.

It is a bit of a mystery, I'll grant you. I'm no R D Laing so just thinking out loud here, but perhaps at a subconscious level spiders remind you of a vagina?

[Guest MikeD]

What's all this shite about spider's webs? I've yet to see a cunt go online yet.

[Guest Snatch]

Forgive me if i divert attention from your stalker-like obsession with my winkle activity but any cunt who brings one of those bastards round to my drum will get a bread knife in their throat. I have faced Hells Angels, Millwall and the ICF but nothing is guaranteed to reduce me to a terrified little girl more than a fucking arachnid. I can't even say or write the S word........it makes me feel sick with fear. One time i was staying in a hotel and i came out of the shower to find a huge arachnid scuttling across the carpet. Obviously i couldn't jump on it with bare feet so i had to watch it escape under the bed. I spent 2 hours looking for the fucker before i went to reception and asked for another room. They thought i was a raving poof but fortunately they had another room. if they hadn't i would have headed for the nearest park bench. I have no idea where this morbid fear comes from but i note that others have a similar fear of Crane Flies. I can see the similarities but, strangely enough, i can pick those up in my hand and drop them out of the window. None of it makes any sense to me but it's there and there's fuck all i can do about it. Somebody recently told me that they hate the smell of Horse Chestnuts and if you spread them around it keeps the cunts out. It's probably total bullshit but i'm going to try it anyway. Fuck me i'd spread horseshit around the house if i thought it would keep those bastards away from me.

Fair play to you judge for admitting your a fucking big girl on a site called cunts corner.

Faced Hells Angels,Millwall,the ICF? Yes,of course you have.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Fair play to you judge for admitting your a fucking big girl on a site called cunts corner.

Faced Hells Angels,Millwall,the ICF? Yes,of course you have.

I imagine he faced the Hell's Angels on that Harley Davidson of his?

And by the way, "taking it all over the face" is not the same as "having faced" someone Judge.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

I had a black widow in my bedroom once. She went like a fucking train and was insatiable. I don't know what happened to her husband though.

Now what is this thread about?

[scotty]

I had a black widow in my bedroom once. She went like a fucking train and was insatiable. I don't know what happened to her husband though.

Now what is this thread about?

Well, that's my wank bank filled for a while. 

[Guest judgetwi]

It is a bit of a mystery, I'll grant you. I'm no R D Laing so just thinking out loud here, but perhaps at a subconscious level spiders remind you of a vagina?

An interesting idea Mr. Bores but Dr. Laing was hardly a Freudian, by any standards. What i find fascinating is that cunts are always telling me that i can go on these courses which can "cure" me of my phobia. (that's the cunts who aren't taking the piss and calling me a poof, obviously) Yet, the courses designed to "cure" gaylords of their fascination for taking cock in their mouths and arses are ridiculed. As we all know you are born gay and there's fuck all you can do about it. However, if you try telling cunts that you are born arachnophobic they just laugh in your face. What's the difference? Power and politics Mr. Bores..........power and politics. Controlling the media helps of course. I'd love to stay and chat but i'm in the middle of "The Divided Self" at the moment. Pip! Pip!

[Guest Bill Stickers]

An interesting idea Mr. Bores but Dr. Laing was hardly a Freudian, by any standards. What i find fascinating is that cunts are always telling me that i can go on these courses which can "cure" me of my phobia. (that's the cunts who aren't taking the piss and calling me a poof, obviously) Yet, the courses designed to "cure" gaylords of their fascination for taking cock in their mouths and arses are ridiculed. As we all know you are born gay and there's fuck all you can do about it. However, if you try telling cunts that you are born arachnophobic they just laugh in your face. What's the difference? Power and politics Mr. Bores..........power and politics. Controlling the media helps of course. I'd love to stay and chat but i'm in the middle of "The Divided Self" at the moment. Pip! Pip!

Are you some sort of cunt?

Another utterly predictable rant that looks like it was typed up by a 15 year old dyslexia sufferer.

You try and take the moral high ground on other threads about appropriate sexual conduct and how everyone else on here is an inadequate little man, but then you spew these tedious homophobic rants, and expect to be given credibility?

I'd trade Jazz for you without a second though. At least there was some variety to his content. You're outright lies, squealing to authority , and relentless hypocrisy can best be described as a second rate pile of fetching juice.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Are you some sort of cunt?

Another utterly predictable rant that looks like it was typed up by a 15 year old dyslexia sufferer.

You try and take the moral high ground on other threads about appropriate sexual conduct and how everyone else on here is an inadequate little man, but then you spew these tedious homophobic rants, and expect to be given credibility?

I'd trade Jazz for you without a second though. At least there was some variety to his content. You're outright lies, squealing to authority , and relentless hypocrisy can best be described as a second rate pile of fetching juice.

Indeed he is.  The exact classification is yet to be determined.  

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Indeed he is.  The exact classification is yet to be determined.  

This is why we desperately need Luke Swarm to push forward with his BSc Cunt Studies dissertation. His conclusions should be illuminating.

[White Cunt]

Forgive me if i divert attention from your stalker-like obsession with my winkle activity but any cunt who brings one of those bastards round to my drum will get a bread knife in their throat. I have faced Hells Angels, Millwall and the ICF but nothing is guaranteed to reduce me to a terrified little girl more than a fucking arachnid. I can't even say or write the S word........it makes me feel sick with fear. One time i was staying in a hotel and i came out of the shower to find a huge arachnid scuttling across the carpet. Obviously i couldn't jump on it with bare feet so i had to watch it escape under the bed. I spent 2 hours looking for the fucker before i went to reception and asked for another room. They thought i was a raving poof but fortunately they had another room. if they hadn't i would have headed for the nearest park bench. I have no idea where this morbid fear comes from but i note that others have a similar fear of Crane Flies. I can see the similarities but, strangely enough, i can pick those up in my hand and drop them out of the window. None of it makes any sense to me but it's there and there's fuck all i can do about it. Somebody recently told me that they hate the smell of Horse Chestnuts and if you spread them around it keeps the cunts out. It's probably total bullshit but i'm going to try it anyway. Fuck me i'd spread horseshit around the house if i thought it would keep those bastards away from me.

Perhaps wearing this garment would help with the Phobia. Can't see the zip, so you may have to spend extended hours in it.

[Decimus]

I miss Jazz... There, I've said it. Can someone call me a pudding or a bozo for old times sake? Or maybe post a jib jab? I lost my sense of purpose when he left. Now I'm reduced to trading insults with Withers. It's not dignified, he's a fourth rate cunt at best, but he's all I've got.

 

 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I miss Jazz... There, I've said it. Can someone call me a pudding or a bozo for old times sake? Or maybe post a jib jab? I lost my sense of purpose when he left. Now I'm reduced to trading insults with Withers. It's not dignified, he's a fourth rate cunt at best, but he's all I've got.

 

 

I had to look up JibJab, dreadfully cuntish things in my opinion.  Did old Jazz actually resort to using them here, in the hallowed and revered corridors of the Corner?  What a cunt!  But, I'm reminded of a little rhyme as it relates to that accidental circumcision you gave yourself with the stanley blade opening that plastic shell your 36" double ended arrived in:

We heard about your little loss, but we know you'll make it through,

Because thankfully the part you lost was of no use to you.

And though you took a part that you truly like, the good luck is you see...

another quarter inch would have been a full lobotomy! 

I hope I've cheered you up, even if just a bit, because eventually Judge will post, and end looking like a tit!  

[Guest deebom]

I still don't know what JibJab is.

Anyway, Spiders? You fucking poofs the lot of you (Except the bloke in Oz.) British spiders are teeny weeny things, might as well be in yellow polka dot bikinis, would certainly give them more 'scare factor' There is nothing scary about spiders the size of 10 pence pieces.

Scorpions, now scorpions are horrific things, straight from nightmares. Even the name 'scorpion' is fucking horrid. I was on a job once and the building was infested with the fucking things, I didn't even know we had the fucking bastard shiny cunts in this country, but we do so watch out.

[southerncunt]

I miss Jazz... There, I've said it. Can someone call me a pudding or a bozo for old times sake? Or maybe post a jib jab? I lost my sense of purpose when he left. Now I'm reduced to trading insults with Withers. It's not dignified, he's a fourth rate cunt at best, but he's all I've got.

 

 

Jazz was a rolled gold cunt, I'll give you that Decs. He was also a paranoid fucking idiot of the highest order, and one with poor taste and a low skill level in attachments.

I am sorry you feel like you have lost your sense of purpose on here, but you really need to aim higher. I have witnessed the craft of insult mixed with humour plied successfully on this forum on many occasions, there are plenty here for you to mix with.

Cast your net further afield, you fucking bozo.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

I miss Jazz... There, I've said it. Can someone call me a pudding or a bozo for old times sake? Or maybe post a jib jab? I lost my sense of purpose when he left. Now I'm reduced to trading insults with Withers. It's not dignified, he's a fourth rate cunt at best, but he's all I've got.

 

 

Cretin! Fartslice. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Edited September 12, 2015 by Alfie Noakes

[Guest judgetwi]

I jumped up and down on a massive arachnid this morning so i'm feeling pretty fucking macho i can tell you. That's one cunt who won't be scaring the shit out of me again. Bastard!

[Eddie]

I jumped up and down on a massive arachnid this morning so i'm feeling pretty fucking macho i can tell you. That's one cunt who won't be scaring the shit out of me again. Bastard!

i have never heard of a penis refered to as an arachnid, thats a new one on me.

[camberwell gypsy]

I hate spiders with a passion. Especially themthem dangly long legged flying fuckers.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I jumped up and down on a massive arachnid this morning so i'm feeling pretty fucking macho i can tell you. That's one cunt who won't be scaring the shit out of me again. Bastard!

You'll destroy an innocent creature in woman like hysterics, yet you have no fear of what's put into your kebab.  You're an enigma, but still a cunt, Judge!