Guest luke swarm Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Had one of those fuck awful team meetings this afternoon at work....the cunt brought in to deliver the talk was one of those cheap suited management agency types who thinks she is the female version of Gordon Gecko but in reality is a stupid cloth eared bint with delusions of grandeur.It fucking grinds my gears to powder to have to sit through the tripe these cunts spout on about...why do they always use such shit and Americanised language....problems become Issues, any way of sorting the problem becomes a solution, what the fuck is a caveat and who wants to bring any issues into the forum so we can formulate a solution... The management fools seem to lap up this verbal diarrhoea and seemed to be having mini orgasms in the background ...a whole afternoon of unadulterated management bollockspeak, feedback,brainstorming and flip chat cuntery. And how come these arsewipes that turn up from the management consultants never recommend that there should be less.......well, management consultants.....it achieves fuck all and just pisses everyone off. I cannot adequately express my contempt for these plutonium grade turds and the cunts who bring them in. Going to sink 4 cans of Banks Bitter now just to simmer down.... grrrr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Not quite the same, but we had a corporate health and safety course a month back, delivered by a fat, northern monkey who I secretly believe was actually a part time Peter Kay impersonator. The garbled, bastardised English that spewed out of his fat fucking gob was a pitch perfect imitation of that cunt Kay. From his quadruple chins, down to his "look at me, did I mention I'm a northerner" hyperactive personality, he had him down to a tee. I was half expecting him to randomly sceam GAAAARLLLLIC BREAD in between lecturing us on the hazards of wanking in the workplace. Of course, all the usual sycophantic cunts lapped it up, chuckling like they'd never encountered an atrocious regional accent before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 The cunts are everywhere now. There are very few jobs left where skills or experience matter, it's mostly down to who you know, who's arse you kiss or how much bollocks you can speak to bluff it.Gold-plated, diamond-tipped cunts the lot of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Bringing these life force sucking, production killing, wank time wasting cunts in is merely a move by management to cover their own inept arse. It's their way of telling people they're going to work more, earn less and pay for Extended CEO holidays or take there P45 and be fucked off for not being up to the duties their position requires. Absolute Chernobyl grade cuntery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Had one of those fuck awful team meetings this afternoon at work....the cunt brought in to deliver the talk was one of those cheap suited management agency types who thinks she is the female version of Gordon Gecko but in reality is a stupid cloth eared bint with delusions of grandeur.It fucking grinds my gears to powder to have to sit through the tripe these cunts spout on about...why do they always use such shit and Americanised language....problems become Issues, any way of sorting the problem becomes a solution, what the fuck is a caveat and who wants to bring any issues into the forum so we can formulate a solution... The management fools seem to lap up this verbal diarrhoea and seemed to be having mini orgasms in the background ...a whole afternoon of unadulterated management bollockspeak, feedback,brainstorming and flip chat cuntery. And how come these arsewipes that turn up from the management consultants never recommend that there should be less.......well, management consultants.....it achieves fuck all and just pisses everyone off. I cannot adequately express my contempt for these plutonium grade turds and the cunts who bring them in. Going to sink 4 cans of Banks Bitter now just to simmer down.... grrrr For fucks sake Swarmers,it's about time you started thinking outside the box and bring something useful to the table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 For fucks sake Swarmers,it's about time you started thinking outside the box and bring something useful to the table.Hmm...Yes there is some validity in your feedback Snatch......thanks for facilitating in this matter and I will try to focus my synergy to contribute fully into this forum. There you see what you've done now....got me talking like a complete cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 There's no such thing as problems; just challenges! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have to endure this kind of shite at work. Fortunately I am deaf as a post and can never hear what these cunts are waffling on about. If they happen to direct any questions at me, I tell them I'm deaf and give them a Paddington Bear long look. They always apologise and don't bother me again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 There's no "I" in team, but there is a "u" in cunt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Hmm...Yes there is some validity in your feedback Snatch......thanks for facilitating in this matter and I will try to focus my synergy to contribute fully into this forum. There you see what you've done now....got me talking like a complete cunt. Swarm can you please expound on how you will execute the above mentioned and what benchmarks you will be applying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Swarm can you please expound on how you will execute the above mentioned and what benchmarks you will be applying. I agree. A bit of blue sky thinking is what is needed here. At the close of play we need to run this up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 I agree. A bit of blue sky thinking is what is needed here. At the close of play we need to run this up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes it.I think we all need to get with the programme, because basically, at the end of the day.....*SMACK* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Be proactive not reactive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Be proactive not reactive.Be a team player. We all need to get on the same page, here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Wopbopaloola awopbamboom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 2, 2015 Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 The only solution I'm interested in is the one I fire over my knuckles most evenings after a lively and creative session on pornhub."Now I'm sure if we all pull together....." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Great nom. I could tell you dozens of stories about the "workshops" i have attended (the only workshops i have been in where the tools are wearing suits) and what a waste of time and money they are. The one that will always stick in my mind is where the cunt, for reasons long forgotten, told us to stand in a circle and hold hands. As i grasped the hand of the bloke next to me i said, quite loudly, "this is the gayest thing i have ever done". Needless to say the next morning i was getting a severe bollocking. I ended up with a formal written warning for my "unprofessional attitude, language and behaviour." Fuck me, did somebody die and nobody told me? Bunch of fucking useless fucking cunts. Now you know why i come on here and take the piss out of you wankers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 4, 2015 Report Share Posted October 4, 2015 Had one of those fuck awful team meetings this afternoon at work....the cunt brought in to deliver the talk was one of those cheap suited management agency types who thinks she is the female version of Gordon Gecko but in reality is a stupid cloth eared bint with delusions of grandeur.It fucking grinds my gears to powder to have to sit through the tripe these cunts spout on about...why do they always use such shit and Americanised language....problems become Issues, any way of sorting the problem becomes a solution, what the fuck is a caveat and who wants to bring any issues into the forum so we can formulate a solution... The management fools seem to lap up this verbal diarrhoea and seemed to be having mini orgasms in the background ...a whole afternoon of unadulterated management bollockspeak, feedback,brainstorming and flip chat cuntery. And how come these arsewipes that turn up from the management consultants never recommend that there should be less.......well, management consultants.....it achieves fuck all and just pisses everyone off. I cannot adequately express my contempt for these plutonium grade turds and the cunts who bring them in. Going to sink 4 cans of Banks Bitter now just to simmer down.... grrrr Do you have an issue with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted October 4, 2015 Report Share Posted October 4, 2015 Retire... It worked for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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