Guest JackoTC Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. However, fireworks are a bit shite and noisy and I've never seen the appeal. So stick your fireworks up your arse anyway.Also...feel free to stick any big item up your arse, as is your wont. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Cameron did. Between having sex with pigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I thought this nom was about people who stick fireworks up their arse being cunts...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. However, fireworks are a bit shite and noisy and I've never seen the appeal. So stick your fireworks up your arse anyway.Also...feel free to stick any big item up your arse, as is your wont.It's a bit flat this year, jackie. Last year we turned Gobbie into a human catherine wheel. I hooked her onto a feather-board fence and set light to her fanny. She was too fat to spin, but she loved the bangers up her bum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 It's a bit flat this year, jackie. Last year we turned Gobbie into a human catherine wheel. I hooked her onto a feather-board fence and set light to her fanny. She was too fat to spin, but she loved the bangers up her bum.Nothing like setting fire to someone's bush to help keep the traditional Gunpowder Plot celebrations from dying out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Nothing like setting fire to someone's bush to help keep the traditional Gunpowder Plot celebrations from dying out. It does sound very catholic though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 When I was a kid the bloke next door only had one leg. He'd had it amputated after a bonfire night accident. Apparently a jumping jack fire cracker jumped up his trouser leg and blew his cock off. Frank, you are Mr Brown and I claim my £5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 When I was a kid the bloke next door only had one leg. He'd had it amputated after a bonfire night accident. Apparently a jumping jack fire cracker jumped up his trouser leg and blew his cock off. Frank, you are Mr Brown and I claim my £5.I'd give my right arm too if I could be out with you tonight... all cosy around the fire with sparklers, crisps and shit. We'd all pop back to yours for a late one, then quickly tuck lightweight hubby upstairs in bed. You get down and dirty on my hairy whilst I play Wichita Lineman on your plinka. We then tippy-toe upstairs with the guitar and you gently wake up hubby... whispering that you have a surprise for him. When he sits up, I do a 360 twirl and thrash the guitar around the back of his head.. thrice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I'd give my right arm too if I could be out with you tonight... all cosy around the fire with sparklers, crisps and shit. We'd all pop back to yours for a late one, then quickly tuck lightweight hubby upstairs in bed. You quickly get down and dirty on my hairy whilst I play Wichita Lineman on your plinka. We then tippy-toe upstairs with the guitar and you gently wake up hubby... whispering that you have a surprise for him. When he sits up, I do a 360 twirl and thrash the guitar around the back of his head.. thrice.What the fuck is this self-absorbed bollocks you silly old cunt? Wash your mouth out with bleach and don't forget to swallow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. You've obviously seen the finale to Elton John's Las Vegas spectacular ("The Night Of a Thousand Poofs") then? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 The Dutch have got this habit of taking fireworks apart to make bombs powerful enough to blow bus shelters. I remember some stupid cunt blowing himself up outside his house years ago. They were finding bits of him all over the place for weeks on end. You'd think that it was a stupid kids prank, but no, the cunt was a thirty nine year old dence shitferbrains that should have known better survived by a wife and two sons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. However, fireworks are a bit shite and noisy and I've never seen the appeal. So stick your fireworks up your arse anyway.Also...feel free to stick any big item up your arse, as is your wont.I would recommend it to Frank. It could be achieved rather easily, just hide a large banger in a latex anal fist and put a red bow and a card with his name on it. Sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 There's a shower of fucking pissed-up bastards setting off rockets on the spare ground in our estate right now, beside a huge bastarding bonfire. Thank fuck there's trees and shrubbery between us and them; they won't see where the lit, petrol-filled Buckfast bottles are coming from. Watching them screaming and desperately trying to kill the flames on their highly flammable track-suits will be as pleasurable as throwing Nicola Sturgeon into busy traffic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I am unfamiliar with the "latex anal fist". But I'll take your word for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I am unfamiliar with the "latex anal fist". But I'll take your word for it.Frank knows all about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 setting off rockets on the spare ground in our estateAh, Coitus, you've unwittingly pulled aside the veil of ignorance and showed us your true social standing. Estate ? I'm assuming its "Housing" and not "Sporting" ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Hunting estate, naturally, Jacko. They must be gypos. They've taken over the paddock that I usually reserve for shooting horses in when I'm bored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Hunting estate, naturally, Jacko.Man is the deadliest game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I'd give my right arm too if I could be out with you tonight... all cosy around the fire with sparklers, crisps and shit. We'd all pop back to yours for a late one, then quickly tuck lightweight hubby upstairs in bed. You get down and dirty on my hairy whilst I play Wichita Lineman on your plinka. We then tippy-toe upstairs with the guitar and you gently wake up hubby... whispering that you have a surprise for him. When he sits up, I do a 360 twirl and thrash the guitar around the back of his head.. thrice.As if anybody, unless completely deaf could sleep through your plodding away your mating gig like an old, heaving sea lion on an gritty beach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I'd give my right arm too if I could be out with you tonight... all cosy around the fire with sparklers, crisps and shit. We'd all pop back to yours for a late one, then quickly tuck lightweight hubby upstairs in bed. You get down and dirty on my hairy whilst I play Wichita Lineman on your plinka. We then tippy-toe upstairs with the guitar and you gently wake up hubby... whispering that you have a surprise for him. When he sits up, I do a 360 twirl and thrash the guitar around the back of his head.. thrice.Thanks for the offer but hubby is away until Christmas. As for the rest of it I'd rather stick fireworks up my arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted November 6, 2015 Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 Thanks for the offer but hubby is away until Christmas. As for the rest of it I'd rather stick fireworks up my arse. Kinky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 6, 2015 Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 Thanks for the offer but hubby is away until Christmas. As for the rest of it I'd rather stick fireworks up my arse. I'm rather certain he had planned to put his ladyfinger of love up your arse, but he probably couldn't get the fuse lit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 6, 2015 Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 Hey, Kids! ......... Just say no! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 6, 2015 Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 I'd give my right arm too if I could be out with you tonight... all cosy around the fire with sparklers, crisps and shit. We'd all pop back to yours for a late one, then quickly tuck lightweight hubby upstairs in bed. You get down and dirty on my hairy whilst I play Wichita Lineman on your plinka. We then tippy-toe upstairs with the guitar and you gently wake up hubby... whispering that you have a surprise for him. When he sits up, I do a 360 twirl and thrash the guitar around the back of his head.. thrice.To come up with stuff like this, you must have something very, very wrong with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 6, 2015 Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 Man is the deadliest game.From your personal collection, baws? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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