Stan Cuntymore

[Decimus]

44 minutes ago, Manky said:

My not very smartphone is fucked. Won't delete so if I make an error it says as typed.

Mine has been doing it since the recent update too. PK did investigate, but presumably couldn't be fucked to put much effort into it.

[Guest Manky]

56 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Mine has been doing it since the recent update too. PK did investigate, b ut presumably couldn't be fucked to put much effort into it.

Are you ill? A full post with no abuse. I am very well thanks so fuck off you sistetr shagging inbred cunt.

Sunt

[Guest Manky]

3 hours ago, DingTheDoggie!! said:

Well go and nick another one... lazy cunt...

I'm not a scouser.

[Decimus]

3 minutes ago, Manky said:

I'm not a scouser.

You're not dead either, which is a crying fucking shame.

[Guest Manky]

33 minutes ago, Decimus said:

You're not dead either, which is a crying fucking shame.

Back to normal. Glad you are better you cunt. Go drown yourself in Wroxham Broad. Jump off Acle Bridge. Go drink some crap beer in Great Yarmouth, Great Yarmouth, so shit they named it twice. I am looking forward to the sea levels rising because then you will either drown or have to move up north with us proper chaps.

[Cuntybaws]

1 minute ago, Manky said:

 I am looking forward to the sea levels rising because then you will either drown or have to move up north with us proper chaps.

They laughed when I bought those crofts in the Cairngorms, but in another few decades my grandchildren will have a lovely portfolio of beachfront property in a tropical island chain. Now, does anyone have a boat for sale?

[Guest Manky]

8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

They laughed when I bought those crofts in the Cairngorms, but in another few decades my grandchildren will have a lovely portfolio of beachfront property in a tropical island chain. Now, does anyone have a boat for sale?

Richard Branson. Slightly fucked.

 

[Decimus]

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

They laughed when I bought those crofts in the Cairngorms

This explains a lot. The last time I climbed Ben Macdui I was filled with an overwhelming sense of fear and dread. Panic set in and I swiftly made my descent, all the while remaining convinced that a terrible presence was just over my shoulder. The locals I told afterwards were convinced I'd had an encounter with Am Fear Liath Mor. Now I know that it was you all along, peeking from behind a cairn and wanking off furiously over the rosary I had tied to my backpack. The wild guttural howls of fury I heard were obviously tied into your deep shame and disgust that the only way you can obtain sexual gratification these days, despite undergoing CBT, is over Catholic religious imagery. 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

10 minutes ago, Decimus said:

This explains a lot. The last time I climbed Ben Macdui I was filled with an overwhelming sense of fear and dread. Panic set in and I swiftly made my descent, all the while remaining convinced that a terrible presence was just over my shoulder. The locals I told afterwards were convinced I'd had an encounter with Am Fear Liath Mor. Now I know that it was you all along, peeking from behind a cairn and wanking off furiously over the rosary I had tied to my backpack. The wild guttural howls of fury I heard were obviously tied into your deep shame and disgust that the only way you can obtain sexual gratification these days, despite undergoing CBT, is over Catholic religious imagery. 

The jury recognises that the only element of truth in this statement resides in this cunt alluding to his wanking outdoors.

The only Bens he wants to be up are Ben Stiller and Ben Affleck, whose spunk-rendered posters peer down adoringly from the cracked ceiling of his desperate, filthy garret. What a piece of work is a cunt.

[Decimus]

Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said:

The jury recognises that the only element of truth in this  statement..

The only way you know this isn't true, is because you know that I would never cross the border into that  crapulous, abysmal, poverty stricken shithole you laughingly call a country. Awful place.

P.S. Baws, I'd appreciate it if you didn't trawl the archives to render the above statement untrue.

[Cuntybaws]

Slander, you cunts. Remember you're talking to the man who single-handedly brought down protectthepope.com

Uncle Ben's the only Ben for me.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

1 minute ago, Decimus said:

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

 

 

The only way you know this isn't true, is because you know that I would never cross the border into that  crapulous, abysmal, poverty stricken shithole you laughingly call a country. Awful place.

P.S. Baws, I'd appreciate it if you didn't trawl the archives to render the above statement untrue.

The only way you know this isn't true, is because you know that I would never cross the border into that  crapulous, abysmal, poverty stricken shithole you laughingly call a country. Awful place.

P.S. Baws, I'd appreciate it if you didn't trawl the archives to render the above statement untrue

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

Dont be like that, it must be dismally chilly in your horrid Calais tent city. Soon you'll be sucking off lorry driver dick and on the way to Blighty , where it'll be gravy- all gravy.

[cuntspotter]

Isn't this boring cunt dead yet?

[Guest DingTheRioja]

Which one?

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

Yes, be a lot more specific than that

[Guest DingTheRioja]

We do have a very large list to get through.....

[Decimus]

8 hours ago, Alfgarnett said:

Fucking dogging cunt if my memory serves me correctly? 

I sincerely hope that your memory hasn't failed you, because it is vitally important that you remember the exact detail of the instructions I'm about to give you.

1: On your way to the job centre this morning, pop into Staples and buy two set squares and six hb pencils. If you have spent your last fiver on Tennents super, which judging by the standards of your contributions so far you definitely have, just nick them. Where you're going you don't need to worry about the police.

2: Once you get to the job centre, remove all your clothes, and once you are stark bollock naked, piss on yourself.

3: Stick your stupid cunt head on top of a photo copier. Ensure that two of the hb pencils are up your nose, and place the set squares at an angle so that they are aligned with your jugular.

4: Smash your ugly fucking face through the glass of the photocopier. Being covered in your own urine will ensure that you are highly conductive, and the resulting electrical charge will convulse your body so that the strategically placed set squares instantly slit your throat.

5: In the highly unlikely scenario that you survive, log onto the corner and post the address of your hospital. Someone will be along shortly to smother you with a pillow.

[camberwell gypsy]

On ‎06‎/‎12‎/‎2015‎ ‎15‎:‎06‎:‎14, Cuntybaws said:

They laughed when I bought those crofts in the Cairngorms, but in another few decades my grandchildren will have a lovely portfolio of beachfront property in a tropical island chain. Now, does anyone have a boat for sale?

Fwank has one but unfortunately its in his imagination.

[Frank]

5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I sincerely hope that your memory hasn't failed you, because it is vitally important that you remember the exact detail of the instructions I'm about to give you.

1: On your way to the job centre this morning, pop into Staples and buy two set squares and six hb pencils. If you have spent your last fiver on Tennents super, which judging by the standards of your contributions so far you definitely have, just nick them. Where you're going you don't need to worry about the police.

2: Once you get to the job centre, remove all your clothes, and once you are stark bollock naked, piss on yourself.

3: Stick your stupid cunt head on top of a photo copier. Ensure that two of the hb pencils are up your nose, and place the set squares at an angle so that they are aligned with your jugular.

4: Smash your ugly fucking face through the glass of the photocopier. Being covered in your own urine will ensure that you are highly conductive, and the resulting electrical charge will convulse your body so that the strategically placed set squares instantly slit your throat.

5: In the highly unlikely scenario that you survive, log onto the corner and post the address of your hospital. Someone will be along shortly to smother you with a pillow.

Pile of shit. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

2 minutes ago, Frank. said:

Pile of shit. 

You're rapidly running out of material again Frank, aren't you?  This is your usual cycle of addiction I'm afraid, plain for all to see except you. 

You come back to the Corner after an absence in a good state of mind - clean, creative and rather jolly.

Then, after 4 to 6 weeks, your creativity runs dry, and your tone quickly turns genuinely sour and hostile to compensate. You then spiral into the depths of one-liner repetition, temporary bans, crippling krokodil addiction and another stay in the bedsit, before being 'permanently' banned by Spot.

After another 6 weeks of cold turkey from the forum and the synthetic heroin, you've stored up enough new one liners to make a triumphant return. But it will always fall apart, it always does.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

On 10 December 2015 at 09:06:44, Decimus said:

I sincerely hope that your memory hasn't failed you, because it is vitally important that you remember the exact detail of the instructions I'm about to give you.

1: On your way to the job centre this morning, pop into Staples and buy two set squares and six hb pencils. If you have spent your last fiver on Tennents super, which judging by the standards of your contributions so far you definitely have, just nick them. Where you're going you don't need to worry about the police.

2: Once you get to the job centre, remove all your clothes, and once you are stark bollock naked, piss on yourself.

3: Stick your stupid cunt head on top of a photo copier. Ensure that two of the hb pencils are up your nose, and place the set squares at an angle so that they are aligned with your jugular.

4: Smash your ugly fucking face through the glass of the photocopier. Being covered in your own urine will ensure that you are highly conductive, and the resulting electrical charge will convulse your body so that the strategically placed set squares instantly slit your throat.

5: In the highly unlikely scenario that you survive, log onto the corner and post the address of your hospital. Someone will be along shortly to smother you with a pillow.

Decs, I'm more than a little disappointed in this above shite.

In the interests of hilarity I suggest you compress this type of turgid waffle right down to the steak 'n' potatoes we are accustomed to and want, and not this shite, so that the boring lumpen pace of these events isn't exactly matched by your thick cunt depiction of them?

[Decimus]

8 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Decs, I'm more than a little disappointed in gold above shite.

In the interests of hil arity I suggest you compress this type of turgid waffle right down to the steak 'n' potatoes we are accustomed to and want, and not this shite, so that the boring lumpen pace of these events isn't exactly matched by your thick cunt depiction of them?

It wasn't my best work Quince, I'll give you that. But to be fair to me, there are only so many convoluted suicide posts a cunt can make, and I've wasted all the good ones on you. Now re-read them, pick your favourite and get the fuck on with it, you rancid, chancre covered bellend.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

It wasn't my best work Quince, I'll give you that. But to be fair to me, there are only so many convoluted suicide posts a cunt can make, and I've wasted all the good ones on you. Now re-read them, pick your favourite and get the fuck on with it, you rancid, chancre covered bellend.

I'll take the bleach every time.