Bubba C Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 2 hours ago, MikeD said: Couldn't do it, Decimus would be fucking heartbroken. Fuck off, the champagne is on ice, you boring fucking cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 My arab neighbour was shaking the dust off his carpet out of his bedroom window this morning. I said "what's the matter abdul, won't it start?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 As he took the For Sale sign down from his front garden, the guy reached over the fence to shake my hand. "Hi, nice to meet you," he said. "I'm Mohammed, your new neighbour." "I'll take that sign if you don't need it," I replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 14 minutes ago, Decimus said: When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. Fucking hell, Decs. I hope it's not brain damage http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-36010389 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 17 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Fucking hell, Decs. I hope it's not brain damage http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-36010389 I'm testing the waters, Bubba. We seem to have our very own Erin Brokovich in the form of Quincy amongst us. The rambling cunt seems to love a lost cause, and has jumped to the successive defences of both Ding and Bill in recent days, regardless of the fact that one is as good as a nonce, and the other has lost his mojo. After a few pages of criticism for my shite joke, I expect that our very own Saint fucking Jude will be jumping to my defence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 30 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'm testing the waters, Bubba. We seem to have our very own Erin Brokovich in the form of Quincy amongst us. The rambling cunt seems to love a lost cause, and has jumped to the successive defences of both Ding and Bill in recent days, regardless of the fact that one is as good as a nonce, and the other has lost his mojo. After a few pages of criticism for my shite joke, I expect that our very own Saint fucking Jude will be jumping to my defence. Possibly .... you probably do need legal counsel for something, but if I do step in, it will be to slice off your eyelids and violently shuck-fuck your ocular cavities so that either hemisphere of your tiny mind go surfing out both earholes on twin geysers of spunk. Gnarly, dude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 Just got back from having an Indian meal. The waiter came over and said "Curry ok madam"? So I said "Ok, one song then fuck off"! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 53 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Possibly .... you probably do need legal counsel for something, but if I do step in, it would be to slice off your eyelids and violentl y shuck-fuck your ocular cavities so that either hemisphere of your tiny mind go surfing out both earholes on twin geysers of spunk. Gnarly, dude! Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah Nah nah nah nah Hey Jude I bet you have got a shrine to Neville Chamberlain and Lord Longford in your house, in recognition of your faggoty, fence sitting appeasement and your staunch defence of noncing and its associated references. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 2 minutes ago, Decimus said: Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah Nah nah nah nah Hey Jude I bet you have got a shrine to Neville Chamerlain and Lord Longford in your house, in recognition of your faggoty, fence sitting appeasement and your staunch defence of noncing and its associated references. I am ok with this high ground, even better with kicking your fingers off their precarious grip while pissing in your eyes and nostrils and laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 How do you get a flid to blow his head off? Tell him to light a firework at arms length 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 11 minutes ago, neil298 said: How do you get a flid to blow his head off? Tell him to light a firework at arms length It felt so wrong, it felt so right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 What's blue and rapes nuns? me in my lucky blue nun fucking suit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. Fuck off Withers you froggy cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 7 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. Fuck off Withers you froggy cunt. Bubbles. If you are going to cunt the French dogs, make it count. There is ample scope, what, with their drunken whore women, tripping round with their seed crusty bags round their ankles falling into their disgusting hole toilets. Watch a couple of 'allo 'allo, that will set you up nicely. Incidentally, 'allo 'allo is hilarious, in an utterly shit British 70s way... if you haven't seen it since you were 10, do so now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 3 hours ago, Bubbles said: 15 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Bubbles. If you are going to cunt the French dogs, make it count. There is ample scope, what, with their drunken whore women, tripping round with their seed crusty bags round their ankles falling into their disgusting hole toilets. Watch a couple of 'allo 'allo, that will set you up nicely. Incidentally, 'allo 'allo is hilarious, in an utterly shit British 70s way... if you haven't seen it since you were 10, do so now. That's one of those comedies that could only work in britain, like the carry on films or benny hill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 Scotty, I'm not sure if you were typing this up one-handed due to other online 'gentlemanly' activities, but please don't put my name anywhere near QC's drivel. Thank you kindly, you dopey fucking cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 18 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Scotty, I'm not sure if you were typing this up one-handed due to other online 'gentlemanly' activities, but please don't put my name anywhere near QC's drivel. Thank you kindly, you dopey fucking cunt. I apologise, bubbles. For some reason, this fucking phone retains any quote I start to make and won't let me fully delete it. What's worse is that I can't think of a punchline to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 29 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Scotty, I'm not sure if you were typing this up one-handed due to other online 'gentlemanly' activities, but please don't put my name anywhere near QC's drivel. Thank you kindly, you dopey fucking cunt. Any association whatever will elevate your name massively out of the dirty crevice of a valley you reside in with the other Welsh ticks, you er.. Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 9 minutes ago, scotty said: I apologise, bubbles. For some reason, this fucking phone retains any quote I start to make and won't let me fully delete it. What's worse is that I can't think of a punchline to that. A simple punch will do him good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 3 hours ago, Decimus said: I'm testing the waters, Bubba. We seem to have our very own Erin Brokovich in the form of Quincy amongst us. The rambling cunt seems to love a lost cause, and has jumped to the successive defences of both Ding and Bill in recent days, regardless of the fact that one is as good as a nonce, and the other has lost his mojo. After a few pages of criticism for my shite joke, I expect that our very own Saint fucking Jude will be jumping to my defence. Fair enough then, noncey-accusing sympathisers have no place here. As nobody has abused it, your joke was fucking shit. There you go, I'm sure Quicky Cumfingers will be along to fight your cause in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 6 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Fair enough then, noncey-accusing sympathisers have no place here. As nobody has abused it, your joke was fucking shit. There you go, I'm sure Quicky Cumfingers will be along to fight your cause in no time. Don't go leaping into this faggots limp embrace on my account, when you could be at home swallowing weed killer in the privacy of your own shed, you doughnut busting Norton. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BrothersQuim Posted April 10, 2016 Report Share Posted April 10, 2016 I saw an article today which read: "I was sexually abused at eight." I thought to myself, does it really matter what time it is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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