scotty Posted March 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 I went to a psychic last week and she told me I'd die a virgin. So I raped her and asked for my two pounds back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 3 hours ago, scotty said: , just flash your growler again. Where the fuck is this famous 'growler'? I must have been out raping and pillaging that day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 17 minutes ago, neil298 said: Where the fuck is this famous 'growler'? I must have been out raping and pillaging that day That day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 6 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Sorry, but I had to give Ding a "like" for his response. In the spirit of Easter, Baws, I forgive you your terrible taste x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 6 hours ago, Bubbles said: Thanks for explaining it, you autistic cunt. Yes, but I had to explain it, I didn't want anyone thinking it was in any way related to religion or Jesus, I just want to nail Decs to two planks and chuck him off the cliffs at Dover... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 37 minutes ago, neil298 said: Where the fuck is this famous 'growler'? I must have been out raping and pillaging that day Me too... I have only seen the edited version on that thread weeks ago... mind you, I don't think I want to see it, if the comments since are anything to go by... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 Just now, DingTheRioja said: Me too... I have only seen the edited version on that thread weeks ago... mind you, I don't think I want to see it, if the comments since are anything to go by... Ding, google "baggy, slack grizzly bear pouch." She's the top hit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 3 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Yes, but I had to explain it, I didn't want anyone thinking it was in any way related to religion or Jesus, I just want to nail Decs to two planks and chuck him off the cliffs at Dover... My brother is driving from Scotland to Dover tomorrow in a large van . Now if you can arrange to pick up the two planks its a goer. The only problem is finding where Drewpy and Swarm live. I will donate a bag of rusty nails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 5 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: The only problem is finding where Drewpy and Swarm live. Find Drew you say? Just keep an eye out for a bungalow that reeks of piss and has stairlifts mounting and criss crossing its walls like a Big Dipper on acid. I'm not sure why he has bothered with the stannah's, but I'm assuming that the fact that he is a stupid cunt is at the root of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 4 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: My brother is driving from Scotland to Dover tomorrow in a large van . Now if you can arrange to pick up the two planks its a goer. The only problem is finding where Drewpy and Swarm live. I will donate a bag of rusty nails. Well that's easy .......I will give you directions to pass onto your obviously smarter brother. Tell him to Drive to Heathtown in Wolverhampton......the street he is looking for is Khartoum Street no 66.......there will be a few Somalian looking types hanging there but don't worry they are a friendly lot and just enjoying the spring sunshine, not dealing or anything unsavoury like that.......Just ask them to fetch that Black Cunt Luke. I will obviously be waiting all packed as I love travelling. But do remember to ask the lads in exactly the words above as they will then understand you perfectly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 Metropolitan police have finally admitted a case of mistaken identity in the Charles de Menezes shooting. They were actually looking for his brother, Dennis. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Metropolitan police have finally admitted a case of mistaken identity in the Charles de Menezes shooting. They were actually looking for his brother, Dennis. Fuck off on yor works beano... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 I was showing my grandmother how to use Google Images. "Pick something to search for," I told her. "Anything at all." "How about a nice cream pie?" she replied. "Except that," I said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 Just now, Bubbles said: Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist. Greasy Roman muck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 I remember how terrified I was the first time I had sex. "Have you brought some protection?" asked the girl. "Why?" I replied. "What the fuck are you going to do to me?" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 Off to the hospital with the pregnant wife tomorrow for the twelve week scan. I can't wait to see what we're having, a boy or an abortion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 Just seen a car parked across three spaces. I'm not sexist, so I'm not going to speculate what gender she was. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 A couple had 3 kids, one of each. A boy, a girl and a hairdresser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!" "But... But it can't be... We buried you..." "Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 On 02/03/2016 at 8:24 PM, Cuntybaws said: "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!" "But... But it can't be... We buried you..." "Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key." 2 minutes ago, Bubbles said: "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!" "But... But it can't be... We buried you..." "Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 13 hours ago, Bubbles said: Off to the hospital with the pregnant wife tomorrow for the twelve week scan. I can't wait to see what we're having, a boy or an abortion. Murderer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 3 minutes ago, Punkape said: Murderer. What if it's a boy? Do tesco do baby clothes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 13 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Shit. It's a fucking good one, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 Just now, Bubbles said: What if it's a boy? Do tesco do baby clothes? Ask Ape. If they do you can dress the child like an oik. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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