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Poetry And Those That Write It


Ape™️

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, Punkape said:

Lol.

There once was an ape called Punk

With an insatiable thirst for spunk 

This shite-stabbing demon

Would gulp down so much semen

His stomach the cunt would need pumped

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Guest luke swarm
1 minute ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

There once was an ape called Punk

With an insatiable thirst for spunk 

This shite-stabbing demon

Would gulp down so much semen

His stomach the cunt would need pumped

good prose, flowing style , last sentence could be improved

7/10.........fair work Quincy

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Guest nobgobbler

There once was a cunt called Bill Stickers

Had a big brown lump in his knickers

Like Little Jack Horner he sat on the Corner

And shat himself every day.

 

 

Philip Larkin was a cunt.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
1 hour ago, Bubbles said:

All art is subjective, Ape, but I concur, it's utter fucking bollocks and only students and cunts like it. Good nom.

A limerick on the other hand, well, they're hilarious. I was having good fun on a thread that had evolved into a limerick laden cunting-fest before I got chucked in the cooler. 

You got chucked in a cooler? You kept that one fucking quiet. Whatever did you do to upset them? your views on homosexuality, casual racism, disability and class is so liberal.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
2 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

good prose, flowing style , last sentence could be improved

7/10.........fair work Quincy

I know, I know. I had "shunk" in mind (purely for this purpose) , but could not quite place the describing line 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
3 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

There once was a cunt called Bill Stickers

Had a big brown lump in his knickers

Like Little Jack Horner he sat on the Corner

And shat himself every day.

 

 

Philip Larkin was a cunt.

There once was a Bill named Stickers

Who had an very odd garnish for snickers

This filthy fucking cunt

Would baste it in spunk

That he licked out of his mums knickers 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
12 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

There once was a Bill named Stickers

Who had an very odd garnish for snickers

This filthy fucking cunt

Would baste it in spunk

That he licked out of his mums knickers 

good work Quince. I initially laughed my head off at this, but then felt extremely repulsed as it's probably true.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
Just now, Drew P Pissflaps said:

good work Quince. I initially laughed my head off at this, but then felt extremely repulsed as it's probably true.

The best art has real life inspiration.

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Guest luke swarm
9 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:
1 minute ago, Manky said:

Myra Hindley was a fucking twat. No doubt about that. I'm glad she is dead but it should have been at the end of a rope in the 60's

 

No....she lived out her miserable life in Clink and suffered more.....the hangman would have been quicker and less painful.....its only a pity she is not alive so she could continue her life of futility and wasted opportunity.

 

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Guest JackoTC

There was a young Welshman called Bubbles

Who had unemployment troubles

He went for a job

But they called him a knob

Now he cannot afford to drink doubles

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Guest JackoTC

There was a daft wanker called Snatch

With an itch that he just couldn't scratch

He would whinge every day

And I just have to say

His head I would like to detach

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Guest Manky
2 hours ago, luke swarm said:

No....she lived out her miserable life in Clink and suffered more.....the hangman would have been quicker and less painful.....its only a pity she is not alive so she could continue her life of futility and wasted opportunity.

 

This is a moral dilemma I have mused at length. As the grown-ups don't  like casual torture for extended periods, I have become pro hanging rather thanus taxpayers paying for a life of play stations, mobile phones, drugs and spurious compensation claims.

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Guest DingTheRioja
5 hours ago, Decimus said:

She's not from Norfolk, if that's what your simian brain is trying to insinuate.

We're famous for the greatest war hero England has ever produced, not for some fucking faggoty bender who recites poetry.

You mean Stephen Fry?

4 hours ago, luke swarm said:

No....she lived out her miserable life in Clink and suffered more.....the hangman would have been quicker and less painful.....its only a pity she is not alive so she could continue her life of futility and wasted opportunity.

 

A dozen house bricks, and a dozen female relatives of the kids.

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The fucking cops are fucking keen

to fucking keep it fucking clean

the fucking chief's a fucking swine

who fucking draws a fucking line

at fucking fun and fucking games

the fucking kids he fucking blames

are nowhere to be fucking found

anywhere in chicken town

the fucking scene is fucking sad

the fucking news is fucking bad

the fucking weed is fucking turf

the fucking speed is fucking surf

the fucking folks are fucking daft

don't make me fucking laugh

it fucking hurts to look around

everywhere in chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late

you fucking wait you fucking wait

you're fucking lost and fucking found

stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking view is fucking vile

for fucking miles and fucking miles

the fucking babies fucking cry

the fucking flowers fucking die

the fucking food is fucking muck

the fucking drains are fucking fucked

the colour scheme is fucking brown

everywhere in chicken town

the fucking pubs are fucking dull

the fucking clubs are fucking full

of fucking girls and fucking guys

with fucking murder in their eyes

a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed

waiting for a fucking cab

you fucking stay at fucking home

the fucking neighbours fucking moan

keep the fucking racket down

this is fucking chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late

you fucking wait you fucking wait

you're fucking lost and fucking found

stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking pies are fucking old

the fucking chips are fucking cold

the fucking beer is fucking flat

the fucking flats have fucking rats

the fucking clocks are fucking wrong

the fucking days are fucking long

it fucking gets you fucking down

evidently chicken town

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
5 hours ago, Bubbles said:

There once was a cunt called Drew

Whose purpose, nobody knew

He was a right boring cunt

Who should run and jump

Into traffic on the M42 

Forgive my ignorance but i live in Norfolk, but presumably an road with an M prefix means something?

Edited by Drew P Pissflaps
an, a fucking android shit bastard spelling
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