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Spunkless Wanking.


Guest Quincy Cockfingers

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
2 hours ago, neil298 said:

Not half as disturbing as knocking one out the day after a prostate biopsy,imagine a blackcurrant yoghurt but darker,fucking frightening.Even that couldn't entice Mrs N to grab a spoon!

What?! Fucking hell! Is this the shape of things to come? Wait,  cum. Heh. Fucking good work Quincy. Anyway , possibly I exaggerated , but I don't think you are. Jesus. 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, Ape said:

This is, without a doubt, one of the most horrifying things I have ever read. Fucking hell Quincy, what the hell goes on inside your head? 

Not a great deal.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, deebom said:

I have never wanked so much that I have run out of jizz.

Quincy you disappoint me greatly and I've never met you. Tell me, do you find that friends and family always seem to to be busy whenever you try to make plans with them?

Then you sir, have never truly lived.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, Gurt said:

Nice. Out of likes though...

Your balls must be like raisins and your bell-end a tinned tomato with the skin hanging off.

Gurt, that is a vegetarian tagine.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, luke swarm said:

Good work Quince.....Many an older gentleman has wrestled with this dilemma and the only choice is to ration ones hand shandy quota as ones resources start to dwindle. Trouble with porn these days is that is so easily available. This is a long way from the struggle in the old day.......the seedy private shops and guilty glances on entering and red faces on exit with ones chosen literature in a brown bag. Whatever happened to color climax anyway

Nowadays its straight onto tinternet and the content is catering to some very strange cunts indeed. Any perversion is only a click away and this has led to an almighty surge in kitchen roll and computer wipes sales. Another lost opportunity to get rich lost.

So the solution to your dilemma....develop a slight intermittent  shoulder injury and when its obvious that you cannot deliver the sauce just say..sorry love but I cannot concentrate with this damned pain. they will love you more as this as it proves you tried even though in a lot of pain..it err works for a friend of mine.    

  

Sounds like repetitive strain injury Luke- a mystery. But yes, smut is too easily had in these final days, one should have to brave a shoppe or root around in a railway cutting like a normal cunt for ones gash-fix, but alas, all the kids are 1 click spunking now.  

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Guest judgetwi
12 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Woe betide the cunt who spills his seed on the ground with enough gusto that the factory's two workers chuck down tools and picket.

Not only is it a waste of valuable spunkium phosphate that would otherwise be supplementing the missus's diet, providing an excellent hair conditioner, and generously enhancing her facial skin-tone, it also may contribute to marital issues via the suspicion one is injecting ones payload into orbit around another body. 

At the height of my masterbatory powers I would of a day cream around the house or garden 5 or 7 times a day- alas! Now I must watch my step.

I am sure I am not alone when In hesitating over that 4th ham shandy thinking "fucking just do it QC , she's going to give out fuck all later anyway", then Sod's law, she arrives home with a glint in her eye and you know you must contractually deliver the goods. 

Quick! Eat 6 bananas! A packet of zinc supplements! And to work! Much grunting and over acting and you realise you are not capable of delivering a 5th hot yogurt! What to do? She will catch on at the lack of "trickle down economics", so- withdraw, gasp dramatically, place one finger against one nostril and blast the snot from the other over her back.

cushdy.

The usual "masterbatory" fantasies from a nothing to say fucking wanker. It's "cushti" by the way, a Hindi word derived from the days of Empire. Dimmo.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
3 hours ago, judgetwi said:

The usual "masterbatory" fantasies from a nothing to say fucking wanker. It's "cushti" by the way, a Hindi word derived from the days of Empire. Dimmo.

*yawn* is it judge really, how interesting, teacher, you drab droning fucking impossible bore.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
13 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

Judging by the stuff you post Quince, you are still at that height.

Possibly I took a little artistic licence here. To be honest, find it best to start with a funny title with a nice ring to it, and make shit up around it, it often tends to work out. 

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6 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Possibly I took a little artistic licence here. To be honest, find it best to start with a funny title with a nice ring to it, and make shit up around it, it often tends to work out. 

Personally, I wish you'd taken your own life 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 minute ago, Bubbles said:

Personally, I wish you'd taken your own life 

I'll take a shit on your face, and decorate it with smarties.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
4 minutes ago, witheredscrote said:

Bubba couldn't find France , let alone my address , besides the Welsh never leave Wales . Parochial cunts

This is true, I never see them anywhere, even here, and every cunt comes here. Apart from the rugby , they get off their fat arses for only that.

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Guest Snatch
5 hours ago, judgetwi said:

The usual "masterbatory" fantasies from a nothing to say fucking wanker. It's "cushti" by the way, a Hindi word derived from the days of Empire. Dimmo.

The only wank you get is a reach round from whatever tower block tramp you picked up last night.

As usual the normal boring drivel from the corners very own wanker.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
3 minutes ago, Snatch said:

The only wank you get is a reach round from whatever tower block tramp you picked up last night.

As usual the normal boring drivel from the corners very own wanker.

Thanks snatch. I noticed also earlier that judge is a worthless shit.

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