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Elvis


Eddie

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Guest JackoTC
On Thursday, April 14, 2016 at 11:43 AM, Eddie said:

Another overrated cunt with pedo tendencies. A close friend of Elvis reported that he he enjoyed relationships with young girls around the age of 13 or 14 and insisted on the girls wearing just white panties in bed. He met Priscilla when she was 14 and soon moved her into Graceland. 

The drug addicted, bloated cunt stomped around the Vegas stage, forgetting his words and sweating like a Scotsman at a charity fundraiser. He also never wrote anything, but received songwriter credit in exchange for performing the songs.

A big favorite of Pikeys, drunks, and fat cunts at fancy dress parties.

What's going on here Ed ? These are all positives surely ?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Apparently bookies will only give you 2500 to 1 for Elvis turning up alive and well in 2016....... We're as Leicester winning the premier league was 5000 to 1 !!!!     Ridiculous but true !

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6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Apparently bookies will only give you 2500 to 1 for Elvis turning up alive and well in 2016....... We're as Leicester winning the premier league was 5000 to 1 !!!!     Ridiculous but true !

I'll give odds of 2 to 1 on that every cunt here wishes you'd kill yourself in 2016. 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
Just now, Bubbles said:

I'll give odds of 2 to 1 on that every cunt here wishes you'd kill yourself in 2016. 

I wish he killed himself years ago, and think this is a common sentiment, in which case you need to adjust it to 16:1 or so, you shite bookie cunt.

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Guest DingTheRioja
On 28/04/2016 at 7:56 AM, Bubbles said:

I'll give odds of 2 to 1 on that every cunt here wishes you'd kill yourself in 2016. 

On 28/04/2016 at 7:58 AM, Quincy Cockfingers said:

I wish he killed himself years ago, and think this is a common sentiment, in which case you need to adjust it to 16:1 or so, you shite bookie cunt.

I'lll put a grand on that at 16:1

 

Right, I don't wish he'd killed himself in 2016, but the year before.

 

Where's my winnings then you cunts?

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said:

I'lll put a grand on that at 16:1

 

Right, I don't wish he'd killed himself in 2016, but the year before.

 

Where's my winnings then you cunts?

It's not New Year's Eve yet.

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43 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

I did a gig as guitarist for an Elvis tribute act a few weeks ago... Uhuhaa ... Thank you very much!

Spot, I've put together a bluegrass number on my old acoustic... 'Mike's Got a Little Walnut Head'. It does have a slight disparaging tone so I'd appreciate your approval before posting the video. Without giving too much away, here's the first verse..

mike's got a little walnut head, mike's got a little walnut head, everyone fucking hates him, mike's got a little walnut head.

 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
3 minutes ago, Frank said:

Spot, I've put together a bluegrass number on my old acoustic... 'Mike's Got a Little Walnut Head'. It does have a slight disparaging tone so I'd appreciate your approval before posting the video. Without giving too much away, here's the first verse..

mike's got a little walnut head, mike's got a little walnut head, everyone fucking hates him, mike's got a little walnut head.

 

Frank, despite the above being Timcture of Bollocks, I've found myself warming to you.

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23 minutes ago, Frank said:

Spot, I've put together a bluegrass number on my old acoustic... 'Mike's Got a Little Walnut Head'. It does have a slight disparaging tone so I'd appreciate your approval before posting the video. Without giving too much away, here's the first verse..

mike's got a little walnut head, mike's got a little walnut head, everyone fucking hates him, mike's got a little walnut head.

 

I'd buy the single. 

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1 hour ago, Frank said:

Spot, I've put together a bluegrass number on my old acoustic... 'Mike's Got a Little Walnut Head'. It does have a slight disparaging tone so I'd appreciate your approval before posting the video. Without giving too much away, here's the first verse..

mike's got a little walnut head, mike's got a little walnut head, everyone fucking hates him, mike's got a little walnut head.

 

I'm sure you'll get a few coppers in your cap when you busk in the piss soaked subways of the elephant and castle. Maybe you'll make enough for a cup of tea. You fucking berk

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10 hours ago, Frank said:

Spot, I've put together a bluegrass number on my old acoustic... 'Mike's Got a Little Walnut Head'. It does have a slight disparaging tone so I'd appreciate your approval before posting the video. Without giving too much away, here's the first verse..

mike's got a little walnut head, mike's got a little walnut head, everyone fucking hates him, mike's got a little walnut head.

 

It sounds a bit "Free form" to me Frank. Y'know, one of those with no meter that doesn't scan or rhyme. It might not gain the audience it deserves here. Or worse, attract only scorn and ridicule. However, as an idea , it has (like all of your ideas, Frank) a certain merit.  Mike, being a valued contributed and culture correspondent from nowheresville, Arsendshire. Will doubtless wish to reply.... In the idiom of song. This could set up a string of such musical contention... Just think, Roops and Dex, Gong and snatch, you and...... Everyone. The results might be hilarious .... I'm not holding my breath.

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59 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

It sounds a bit "Free form" to me Frank. Y'know, one of those with no meter that doesn't scan or rhyme. It might not gain the audience it deserves here. Or worse, attract only scorn and ridicule. However, as an idea , it has (like all of your ideas, Frank) a certain merit.  Mike, being a valued contributed and culture correspondent from nowheresville, Arsendshire. Will doubtless wish to reply.... In the idiom of song. This could set up a string of such musical contention... Just think, Roops and Dex, Gong and snatch, you and...... Everyone. The results might be hilarious .... I'm not holding my breath.

You might be right, spot. I could add a 'hey!' at the end of each line and perhaps a little Mediterranean feel in the chorus, like Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'...

mike's a fucking-a cunt.. hey! he make-a me sick, why he is so small.. hey! weeny walnut head, it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place, ahhh he got a walnut-a head. 

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3 minutes ago, Frank said:

You might be right, spot. I could add a 'hey!' at the end of each line and perhaps a little Mediterranean feel in the chorus, like Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'...

mike's a fucking-a cunt.. hey! he make-a me sick, why he is so small.. hey! weeny walnut head, it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place, ahh he's got a walnut-a head. 

That represents considerable progress .... Mike?

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32 minutes ago, Frank said:

You might be right, spot. I could add a 'hey!' at the end of each line and perhaps a little Mediterranean feel in the chorus, like Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'...

mike's a fucking-a cunt.. hey! he make-a me sick, why he is so small.. hey! weeny walnut head, it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place, ahhh he got a walnut-a head. 

There was never a xylophone in any of OMD's songs, all along it was just Mike's head being battered by session musicians. 

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Guest Bill Stickers
2 hours ago, Frank said:

You might be right, spot. I could add a 'hey!' at the end of each line and perhaps a little Mediterranean feel in the chorus, like Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'...

mike's a fucking-a cunt.. hey! he make-a me sick, why he is so small.. hey! weeny walnut head, it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place, ahhh he got a walnut-a head. 

Mike can do backing vocals in your band if you've got a stool he can stand on to reach the mic.

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2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Mike can do backing vocals in your band if you've got a stool he can stand on to reach the mic.

During the instrumental, I'd have him 'flown' across the stage on a wire.. dressed in a tutu with little baby angel wings and walnut-faced mask. 

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