Guest Ahriman Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 So what with my supply of rohypnol running low and my basement/rape dungeon in the process of being fitted with some chains,(Let's see the cunts chew throgh that.) not to mention punkapes mother still being indisposed after the 'yankee candlestick incident', I thought that I'd give this whole internet dating bollocks a bash. After lying my way throgh their obnoxiously indepth qustionaire I managed to create a profile that presented myself as a relatively well ajusted individual with bags of chrisma who most defininitly DOES NOT cum blood into storm drains, after which I set about looking for a soul mate/rapee/soon to be dead cunt. Unfortunately, typing in: 'big titted vixens with low self-esteem and daddy issues' didn't yield the results I was hoping for, so I spent the next couple of hours trawling through profile pics and messaging the hot ones with all my classic chat up lines like: "hey babe, show us your tits", "No seriously, get em out", and my personal favourite "I will burn down your house and skull fuck your cat into furry paste unless you start showing me some skin bitch". After a couple of hours of being ignored, well, accept by this one girl who threatened to call the police if I didn't stop harrassing her(The fucking tease.), I set my sights lower and started messaging the fatties, only to discover that even the fat birds think that they're on par with czechoslovakian super models on these dating sites. It's a fucking outrage I tell ya. Plenty Of Fish? More like Plenty Of Cunts Who Wont Let Me Have A Go At Their Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 5 minutes ago, Agentpeanut said: So what with my supply of rohypnol running low and my basement/rape dungeon in the process of being fitted with some chains,(Let's see the cunts chew throgh that.) not to mention punkapes mother still being indisposed after the 'yankee candlestick incident', I thought that I'd give this whole internet dating bollocks a bash. After lying my way throgh their obnoxiously indepth qustionaire I managed to create a profile that presented myself as a relatively well ajusted individual with bags of chrisma who most defininitly DOES NOT cum blood into storm drains, after which I set about looking for a soul mate/rapee/soon to be dead cunt. Unfortunately, typing in: 'big titted vixens with low self-esteem and daddy issues' didn't yield the results I was hoping for, so I spent the next couple of hours trawling through profile pics and messaging the hot ones with all my classic chat up lines like: "hey babe, show us your tits", "No seriously, get em out", and my personal favourite "I will burn down your house and skull fuck your cat into furry paste unless you start showing me some skin bitch". After a couple of hours of being ignored, well, accept by this one girl who threatened to call the police if I didn't stop harrassing her(The fucking tease.), I set my sights lower and started messaging the fatties, only to discover that even the fat birds think that they're on par with czechoslovakian super models on these dating sites. It's a fucking outrage I tell ya. Plenty Of Fish? More like Plenty Of Cunts Who Wont Let Me Have A Go At Their Cunts. Er.... You are not only an obvious sex offender, but also a fucking stupid babbling cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 14 minutes ago, Agentpeanut said: So what with my supply of rohypnol running low and my basement/rape dungeon in the process of being fitted with some chains,(Let's see the cunts chew throgh that.) not to mention punkapes mother still being indisposed after the 'yankee candlestick incident', I thought that I'd give this whole internet dating bollocks a bash. After lying my way throgh their obnoxiously indepth qustionaire I managed to create a profile that presented myself as a relatively well ajusted individual with bags of chrisma who most defininitly DOES NOT cum blood into storm drains, after which I set about looking for a soul mate/rapee/soon to be dead cunt. Unfortunately, typing in: 'big titted vixens with low self-esteem and daddy issues' didn't yield the results I was hoping for, so I spent the next couple of hours trawling through profile pics and messaging the hot ones with all my classic chat up lines like: "hey babe, show us your tits", "No seriously, get em out", and my personal favourite "I will burn down your house and skull fuck your cat into furry paste unless you start showing me some skin bitch". After a couple of hours of being ignored, well, accept by this one girl who threatened to call the police if I didn't stop harrassing her(The fucking tease.), I set my sights lower and started messaging the fatties, only to discover that even the fat birds think that they're on par with czechoslovakian super models on these dating sites. It's a fucking outrage I tell ya. Plenty Of Fish? More like Plenty Of Cunts Who Wont Let Me Have A Go At Their Cunts. Incredible situation....and what's this you say, not a single bite Peanut despite the soppy stuff you said. I tell you there is no justice when a well balanced and mature cunt with only mild psychotic tendencies cannot get a date....Well no choice now really is there, you will have to try the ladyboy or Shim community for the love you are looking for. Might be worth giving the Judge a PM as he has good connections in that area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 30 minutes ago, Agentpeanut said: So what with my supply of rohypnol running low and my basement/rape dungeon in the process of being fitted with some chains,(Let's see the cunts chew throgh that.) not to mention punkapes mother still being indisposed after the 'yankee candlestick incident', I thought that I'd give this whole internet dating bollocks a bash. After lying my way throgh their obnoxiously indepth qustionaire I managed to create a profile that presented myself as a relatively well ajusted individual with bags of chrisma who most defininitly DOES NOT cum blood into storm drains, after which I set about looking for a soul mate/rapee/soon to be dead cunt. Unfortunately, typing in: 'big titted vixens with low self-esteem and daddy issues' didn't yield the results I was hoping for, so I spent the next couple of hours trawling through profile pics and messaging the hot ones with all my classic chat up lines like: "hey babe, show us your tits", "No seriously, get em out", and my personal favourite "I will burn down your house and skull fuck your cat into furry paste unless you start showing me some skin bitch". After a couple of hours of being ignored, well, accept by this one girl who threatened to call the police if I didn't stop harrassing her(The fucking tease.), I set my sights lower and started messaging the fatties, only to discover that even the fat birds think that they're on par with czechoslovakian super models on these dating sites. It's a fucking outrage I tell ya. Plenty Of Fish? More like Plenty Of Cunts Who Wont Let Me Have A Go At Their Cunts. Fucking lesbians, you sound like a catch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 1 hour ago, luke swarm said: Incredible situation....and what's this you say, not a single bite Peanut despite the soppy stuff you said. I tell you there is no justice when a well balanced and mature cunt with only mild psychotic tendencies cannot get a date....Well no choice now really is there, you will have to try the ladyboy or Shim community for the love you are looking for. Might be worth giving the Judge a PM as he has good connections in that area. Well done Swarmers for reading Peabrain's essay to the end. I dozed off after the start of line 3 when he said bollocks. I just agreed and went for a shit. Lot easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 I've just been on Agent Peanuts' internet dating nom and it was fucking awful. Then I come here, and lo, the fucking retarded cunt stain has multi-nommed a shit nom. It's like Ding, only worse. Fucking sort yourself out, 'Nut, you shambles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 4 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Well done Swarmers for reading Peabrain's essay to the end. I dozed off after the start of line 3 when he said bollocks. I just agreed and went for a shit. Lot easier. I bailed out when I got to Rohypnol! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 Rohypnol is like sooooo passé. Fucking loser... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 16 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Fucking sort yourself out, 'Nut, you shambles. That's what your wife said, so I cut back on the alcohol, took my anti psychotic medication, started wearing nice clothes, and then proceded to stuff her fat face with Jaffa cakes and my cum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 If you can't even manage tops and fingers from the repulsive trolls in your area who are dying to meet you then nature is indeed trying to tell you something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 22 minutes ago, Agentpeanut said: That's what your wife said, so I cut back on the alcohol, took my anti psychotic medication, started wearing nice clothes, and then proceded to stuff her fat face with Jaffa cakes and my cum. Cutting stuff, agent, truthfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 wtf? Someone been at the editing button again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 59 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: If you can't even manage tops and fingers from the repulsive trolls in your area who are dying to meet you then nature is indeed trying to tell you something. Quite right Bawsey , just try and imagine what the outcome would be if Peabrain's seed fell onto fertile soil. Knuckle dragging , double nomming cunts everywhere within 2 generations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: If you can't even manage tops and fingers from the repulsive trolls in your area who are dying to meet you then nature is indeed trying to tell you something. I'm always surprised by how attractive the women in my area who apparently want to meet me always seem to be, and also by the flexibility of their sexual morality. They must be incredibly hot because every time I click the link to arrange a meeting with any of them, my computer crashes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BrothersQuim Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 On 26/04/2016 at 8:07 PM, Agentpeanut said: So what with my supply of rohypnol running low and my basement/rape dungeon in the process of being fitted with some chains,(Let's see the cunts chew throgh that.) not to mention punkapes mother still being indisposed after the 'yankee candlestick incident', I thought that I'd give this whole internet dating bollocks a bash. Just had a look and found your profile, I've found the reason for your lack of success. Your current picture looks like someone fired Adrian Chiles & Simon Weston around the large hadron collider until they created the ugliest particles the universe has ever seen, then grafted them to David Gests reanimated corpse.....because you're a fucking boring simpleton as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 don't you realise that the persona of persons on internet dating sites is somewhat different to their profile in 'real life' It's why most internet relationships fail - they can never live up to the keyboard fantasy that has been created. Take this site as an example, Punkape is a Liverpudlian bin dipper contrary to whatever else he says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 46 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: don't you realise that the persona of persons on internet dating sites is somewhat different to their profile in 'real life' It's why most internet relationships fail - they can never live up to the keyboard fantasy that has been created. Take this site as an example, Punkape is a Liverpudlian bin dipper contrary to whatever else he says. Anyone who ever read Drew's dating profile would've been led to believe he was an Adonis with long flowing locks of hair who resides in a 3 storey house with fantastic views for miles around. The truth is, he's a pathetic fat old bald cunt who lives in a rabbit warren. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 12 hours ago, witheredscrote said: Quite right Bawsey , just try and imagine what the outcome would be if Peabrain's seed fell onto fertile soil. Knuckle dragging , double nomming cunts everywhere within 2 generations. They would still be of a vastly superior breed of human than your average Frenchman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 18 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Er.... You are not only an obvious sex offender, but also a fucking stupid babbling cunt. Eh, I'm not stupid, I've got G.C.S.E's and everthing. It's amazing what a brown envelope stuffed full of dirty £5 notes and half a gram of coke can get you nowadays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 1 minute ago, Agentpeanut said: Eh, I'm not stupid, I've got G.C.S.E's and everthing. It's amazing what a brown envelope stuffed full of dirty £5 notes and half a gram of coke can get you nowadays. Peanut, your nom has been an unmitigated disaster, cementing your position as a bottom feeder of the site. Join tinder, go on as many dates as possible, and eventually you'll meet a nutter who will chop you up and dump you in a B-road ditch in an old suitcase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 3 hours ago, Bubbles said: An yone who ever read Drew's dating profile would've been led to believe he was an Adonis with long flowing locks of hair who resides in a 3 storey house with fantastic views for miles around. The truth is, he's a pathetic fat old bald cunt who lives in a rabbit warren. I'm not pathetic, you fucking Welsh cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 24 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I'm not pathetic, you fucking Welsh cunt I believe drew prefers the terms wretched or insufficient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 4 hours ago, Bubbles said: Anyone who ever read Drew's dating profile would've been led to believe he was an Adonis with long flowing locks of hair who resides in a 3 storey house with fantastic views for miles around. The truth is, he's a pathetic fat old bald cunt who lives in a rabbit warren. I'm not standing for that. Drew doesn't live in a rabbit warren, he resides in a bus shelter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 8 hours ago, Agentpeanut said: Eh, I'm not stupid, I've got G.C.S.E's and everthing. It's amazing what a brown envelope stuffed full of dirty £5 notes and half a gram of coke can get you nowadays. Together ? What can it get you? Weed, off some cunt with lots of weed but no coke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 27, 2016 Report Share Posted April 27, 2016 Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said: Together ? What can it get you? Weed, off some cunt with lots of weed but no coke? Actually- that's me. PM me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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