Decimus Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays and my kids are cunts who I hate. As I'm the perfect fucking gentleman, I asked if the pampers wearing old bitch next to me would like to go first, thinking she'll order a sherry and do one within seconds. Cue a 15 drink order, coupled with endless deliberation over whether one of the cunts in her party would prefer pinot or Chardonnay. Not content with being a piss taking old slag, she also considered herself a comedienne. "Can I have a cherry in the Becks vier. Don't ask why!" She chuckled to the bar man, who then proceeded to spend five fucking minutes trying to find one. I don't need to ask, I know why, you decrepit old cunt. It's because you're apparently a court fucking jester as well as an inconsiderate cunt. I hope she's fucking dead within the year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 English barstaff are cunts..remember in Ireland one year the barman had 10 different orders on the go at once instead of one order at at a time..shouldn't be in a bar anyway it's only fuckin Wednesday you pisshead diseased sausage of cunt Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 13 minutes ago, Decimus said: I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays and my kids are cunts who I hate. As I'm the perfect fucking gentleman, I asked if the pampers wearing old bitch next to me would like to go first, thinking she'll order a sherry and do one within seconds. Cue a 15 drink order, coupled with endless deliberation over whether one of the cunts in her party would prefer pinot or Chardonnay. Not content with being a piss taking old slag, she also considered herself a comedienne. "Can I have a cherry in the Becks vier. Don't ask why!" She chuckled to the bar man, who then proceeded to spend five fucking minutes trying to find one. I don't need to ask, I know why, you decrepit old cunt. It's because you're apparently a court fucking jester as well as an inconsiderate cunt. I hope she's fucking dead within the year. Sorry decs but I like a cherry in my beer. And I don't wear pampers you cheeky cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted August 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 minute ago, Panzerknacker said: shouldn't be in a bar anyway it's only fuckin Wednesday you pisshead diseased sausage of cunt Panzerknacker Pot. Kettle. Unless you mean to tell me that you've been sober for all of the 135 dog shit, incomprehensible posts that you've made so far. Decimus 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 18 minutes ago, Decimus said: I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays and my kids are cunts who I hate. As I'm the perfect fucking gentleman, I asked if the pampers wearing old bitch next to me would like to go first, thinking she'll order a sherry and do one within seconds. Cue a 15 drink order, coupled with endless deliberation over whether one of the cunts in her party would prefer pinot or Chardonnay. Not content with being a piss taking old slag, she also considered herself a comedienne. "Can I have a cherry in the Becks vier. Don't ask why!" She chuckled to the bar man, who then proceeded to spend five fucking minutes trying to find one. I don't need to ask, I know why, you decrepit old cunt. It's because you're apparently a court fucking jester as well as an inconsiderate cunt. I hope she's fucking dead within the year. Oh dead oh dear, of late I have missed your witty, humorous and bold noms worthy of credit. Then you put up this pathetic boring shite. Get a grip or fuck off. Lets discuss this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 23 minutes ago, Decimus said: I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays and my kids are cunts who I hate. As I'm the perfect fucking gentleman, I asked if the pampers wearing old bitch next to me would like to go first, thinking she'll order a sherry and do one within seconds. Cue a 15 drink order, coupled with endless deliberation over whether one of the cunts in her party would prefer pinot or Chardonnay. Not content with being a piss taking old slag, she also considered herself a comedienne. "Can I have a cherry in the Becks vier. Don't ask why!" She chuckled to the bar man, who then proceeded to spend five fucking minutes trying to find one. I don't need to ask, I know why, you decrepit old cunt. It's because you're apparently a court fucking jester as well as an inconsiderate cunt. I hope she's fucking dead within the year. Are you in a Wetherspoons? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted August 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 minute ago, witheredscrote said: Oh dead oh dear, of late I have missed your witty, humorous and bold noms worthy of credit. Then you put up this pathetic boring shite. Get a grip or fuck off. Lets discuss this. Withers, you have derailed a number of recent nominations by decrying them as boring shit. I happen to agree with you, but you can get fucked with this one. You're over sixty, piss soaked, and consider yourself hilarious despite evidence to the contrary. You were always bound to take the hump with a nom attacking someone else with all your traits. Go fuck yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Just now, Decimus said: Withers, you have derailed a number of recent nominations by decrying them as boring shit. I happen to agree with you, but you can get fucked with this one. You're over sixty, piss soaked, and consider yourself hilarious despite evidence to the contrary. You were always bound to take the hump with a nom attacking someone else with all your traits. Go fuck yourself. Huh, this is your idea of a discussion is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Get an Au Pair to look after the kids then you would be able to avoid these chav ridden cess pools. Au pair could be useful when mrs d isn't putting out. Alfiefuckingnoakesknackers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 12 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: English barstaff are cunts..remember in Ireland one year the barman had 10 different orders on the go at once instead of one order at at a time..shouldn't be in a bar anyway it's only fuckin Wednesday you pisshead diseased sausage of cunt Panzerknacker Do you regret not trying harder at school? Apeknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 8 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Oh dead oh dear, of late I have missed your witty, humorous and bold noms worthy of credit. Then you put up this pathetic boring shite. Get a grip or fuck off. Lets discuss this. I think it's fair to say we'd miss your witty, humorous and bold noms worthy of credit, if you were to leave - had you ever made any. Goose-fucking surrender monkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Just now, Ape said: I think it's fair to say we'd miss your witty, humorous and bold noms worthy of credit, if you were to leave - had you ever made any. Goose-fucking surrender monkey. Are your comments open to debate, I am trying to follow CC guidelines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Just now, witheredscrote said: Are your comments open to debate, I am trying to follow CC guidelines. Of course Withers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 That'll be to replace the cherry she lost on VE day. Play your cards right Decs and there's some parchment-dry pussy for you tonight. Can you do an American accent? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: That'll be to replace the cherry she lost on VE day. Play your cards right Decs and there's some parchment-dry pussy for you tonight. When she sobers up she will kick him in the minge and cut off his crown jewels. These older women drip like a fucked fridge with the right chat up lines and a gallon of Carling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 She's obviously a fag hag. Like that fat controller Eileen, from Coronation Street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 hour ago, Decimus said: I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays Fuck yeah Deco. Couple of Babyshams and you're in I reckon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 34 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: That'll be to replace the cherry she lost on VE day. Play your cards right Decs and there's some parchment-dry pussy for you tonight. Can you do an American accent? think of the fire hazard. Rospa probably have data on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 hour ago, witheredscrote said: Oh dead oh dear, of late I have missed your witty, humorous and bold noms worthy of credit. Then you put up this pathetic boring shite. Get a grip or fuck off. Lets discuss this. I know we don't see it so much these days sac boy, but did you have to wear leg callipers when you were young? Possibly nicknamed clank by other children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 hour ago, Decimus said: I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays and my kids are cunts who I hate. As I'm the perfect fucking gentleman, I asked if the pampers wearing old bitch next to me would like to go first, thinking she'll order a sherry and do one within seconds. Cue a 15 drink order, coupled with endless deliberation over whether one of the cunts in her party would prefer pinot or Chardonnay. Not content with being a piss taking old slag, she also considered herself a comedienne. "Can I have a cherry in the Becks vier. Don't ask why!" She chuckled to the bar man, who then proceeded to spend five fucking minutes trying to find one. I don't need to ask, I know why, you decrepit old cunt. It's because you're apparently a court fucking jester as well as an inconsiderate cunt. I hope she's fucking dead within the year. School holidays are a fucking cunt. Kids are fucking cunts. I might get a job for the British Antarctic survey. The fucking dry valleys, mount Erebus, non stop howling blizzards, virgin pistes, hitting penguins with baseball bats- I'm there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 minute ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: School holidays are a fucking cunt. Kids are fucking cunts. I might get a job for the British Antarctic survey. The fucking dry valleys, mount Erebus, non stop howling blizzards, virgin pistes, hitting penguins with baseball bats- I'm there. I wonder if you could shite in a penguins mouth? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 2 hours ago, Decimus said: I decided to go to the pub after work as it's the school holidays and my kids are cunts who I hate. As I'm the perfect fucking gentleman, I asked if the pampers wearing old bitch next to me would like to go first, thinking she'll order a sherry and do one within seconds. Cue a 15 drink order, coupled with endless deliberation over whether one of the cunts in her party would prefer pinot or Chardonnay. Not content with being a piss taking old slag, she also considered herself a comedienne. "Can I have a cherry in the Becks vier. Don't ask why!" She chuckled to the bar man, who then proceeded to spend five fucking minutes trying to find one. I don't need to ask, I know why, you decrepit old cunt. It's because you're apparently a court fucking jester as well as an inconsiderate cunt. I hope she's fucking dead within the year. I forgot to comment, I was thinking of the frozen wastes. Anyway, you've gone fucking soft. You should have waded in with a beauty of a head butt at her shit joke- Held your head back to guffaw, then while guffawing arc forward violently, again and again, guffawing like mad. Let that shit go once or twice, the whole country will go to pot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 1 hour ago, Ape said: Do you regret not trying harder at school? Apeknacker Student of many institutions gapecracker I don't waste time on regrets. ..I'd say your dripping in it though let it go man Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 5 minutes ago, Ape said: I wonder if you could shite in a penguins mouth? Certainly worthy of further research. Would you do it in the field or back in the laboratory? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 3 minutes ago, mothra said: Certainly worthy of further research. Would you do it in the field or back in the laboratory? I'm no expert on the subject. Quincy will no doubt answer this in due course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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