Jiggerycock Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 Like the rest of the country, I'm humming and whirring along to Team GB's successes in these Olympics. It's great to be able to give free reign to xenophobic insults, secure in the knowledge no one can touch you for it as they're all thinking how fucking joyous it is to stick it to the Australians too and don't deny for one second you don't agree. However. I can just about stick the anthropomorphic 'graphics the BBC have gone in for ('See! It's a monkey - oh wait! It's not a monkey at all! It's a gymnast'), but Eddie Butler doing his Falstaff / Laurence Olivier segues into every cunting bit of action is just taking the piss. You just know he's dying to slip a 'Prithee Sirrah' or an 'Out. Out Brief Candle!' in there, crapping on about 'straining every nerve and sinew' and 'screwing one's courage to the sticking point', with a nod to Kipling here and a courtesy to The Bard there, when basically it's just a fat lass from Batley tossing her orb about that's about to happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 People who get paid to commentate aren't anywhere near as interesting as the genuine fans. Take Marcus Loftus for example. And Mark Commode. And Gary Lineker, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 It`s ridiculous. These drug fuelled self serving cheating fuckers with the best Chemist with access to masking drugs deserve nothing but our contempt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 Who gives a fuck. The only reason we don't win everything is because Johnny Foreigner hates us. And I like it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 27 minutes ago, Manky said: Who gives a fuck. The only reason we don't win everything is because Johnny Foreigner hates us. And I like it that way. Another reason could also be that we're fucking useless at sport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 9 minutes ago, Snatch said: Another reason could also be that we're fucking useless at sport. And think that a country with less than 1% of the worlds population, we may not do too bad. And I like it that way as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 One: We punch well above our weight in the Olympics and, keep it to yourself because it's not a very British thing to do, but we're pretty bloody good at Olympic sports in general. Two: I'd be amazed if any of our athletes were stupid or naïve enough to be on performance enhancing drugs. It's bad enough Lizzie Armistead missing three tests (so she shouldn't be at the Games IMO), but if you are caught using any kind of 'juice' that should be it as far as you ever representing GB or taking part in your sport at any meaningful level. Anyway - it's not just Eddie Butler (though he's the worst) doing these over-the-top, grandiloquent, meandering bollocks. Even Michael Johnson has been persuaded to join in with this farce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 I've been drinking heavily all day. lol? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 30 minutes ago, Punkape said: I've been drinking heavily all day. lol? Oh God. That's just like putting a spear on the end of a cruise missile when it comes to your 'drivel output' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 53 minutes ago, Punkape said: I've been drinking heavily all day. lol? Seriously, be careful, Spunkers. I'd hate to think of you needing your stomach pumped - like Mark Almond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 6 hours ago, Snatch said: Another reason could also be that we're fucking useless at sport. That's why we're third behind the yanks and the Chinese who both have the biggest teams. Only a couple of more golds and we go second. Not bad for a little island. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 On 13/08/2016 at 7:47 PM, Jiggerycock said: Like the rest of the country, I'm humming and whirring along to Team GB's successes in these Olympics. It's great to be able to give free reign to xenophobic insults, secure in the knowledge no one can touch you for it as they're all thinking how fucking joyous it is to stick it to the Australians too and don't deny for one second you don't agree. However. I can just about stick the anthropomorphic 'graphics the BBC have gone in for ('See! It's a monkey - oh wait! It's not a monkey at all! It's a gymnast'), but Eddie Butler doing his Falstaff / Laurence Olivier segues into every cunting bit of action is just taking the piss. You just know he's dying to slip a 'Prithee Sirrah' or an 'Out. Out Brief Candle!' in there, crapping on about 'straining every nerve and sinew' and 'screwing one's courage to the sticking point', with a nod to Kipling here and a courtesy to The Bard there, when basically it's just a fat lass from Batley tossing her orb about that's about to happen. Never heard of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Never heard of her. You're missing nothing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 On 13/08/2016 at 7:47 PM, Jiggerycock said: Like the rest of the country, I'm humming and whirring along to Team GB's successes in these Olympics. It's great to be able to give free reign to xenophobic insults, secure in the knowledge no one can touch you for it as they're all thinking how fucking joyous it is to stick it to the Australians too and don't deny for one second you don't agree. However. I can just about stick the anthropomorphic 'graphics the BBC have gone in for ('See! It's a monkey - oh wait! It's not a monkey at all! It's a gymnast'), but Eddie Butler doing his Falstaff / Laurence Olivier segues into every cunting bit of action is just taking the piss. You just know he's dying to slip a 'Prithee Sirrah' or an 'Out. Out Brief Candle!' in there, crapping on about 'straining every nerve and sinew' and 'screwing one's courage to the sticking point', with a nod to Kipling here and a courtesy to The Bard there, when basically it's just a fat lass from Batley tossing her orb about that's about to happen. Fuck all wrong with Batley, cheeky cunt! 17 hours ago, Punkape said: I've been drinking heavily all day. lol? Maybe that will improve your output... maybe... 13 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: That's why we're third behind the yanks and the Chinese who both have the biggest teams. Only a couple of more golds and we go second. Not bad for a little island. And I wonder which of those two teams has a bunch of drugs cheats amongst them... Hint : Both. The only difference between them two and the Ruskies, is the ruskies are stupid enough to get caught, excluding Lance Armstrong of course... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 14 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Fuck all wrong with Batley, cheeky cunt! Maybe that will improve your output... maybe... And I wonder which of those two teams has a bunch of drugs cheats amongst them... Hint : Both. The only difference between them two and the Ruskies, is the ruskies are stupid enough to get caught, excluding Lance Armstrong of course... Where the fuck is Bill? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 7 hours ago, Decimus said: Where the fuck is Bill? Werbeniuk ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 A cunt of epic proportions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 I'm getting - probably permanently -passionately pained and pissed off with all the endless alliteration spouted. It all started with Henman Hill, at Wimbledon. Which of course turned into Murray Mound. Eh? A fucking mound? It makes it sound like C'mon Andy has had a shit in SW19. The dirty Scotch cunt. Then a Quorn fed Somalian, a sexless Sheffield bird and a ginger cunt all won gold medals on the same day in London. Naturally it had to be called Super Saturday. Then yesterday Britain win a load more golds, so the finest minds in the fucking media come up with Terrific Tuesday. Presumably if today doesn't go as well it'll be christened Wank Wednesday. I look forward to our Paralympic team bringing the bacon home on Thalidomide Thursday. Or Flid Friday. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 6 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: It all started with Henman Hill, at Wimbledon. Which of course turned into Murray Mound. Eh? A fucking mound? It makes it sound like C'mon Andy has had a shit in SW19. The dirty Scotch cunt. Don't think it will ever be Konta's Cunt or Robson's Rack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 Size of the British Olympic squad.....366 Size of the BBC Olympic team...........455 Having just watched some semi- bald wanker, sporting the modern version of the comb over, cunt on about the bin men on the fucking beach, it's clear why the Beeb needs so many fucking cunts in Brazil - at our fucking expense. I wouldn't mind, but that brick fucking shithouse Balding seems to be on the fucking telly 80% of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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