Cap'n Cunt Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 So a bunch of 'mostly Senegalese' chancers got on a boat in Libya to seek fame, fortune and benefits in Europe. 3 days later, they arrived in Italy, or so they thought. Strange, though, that everyone there spoke Libyan (or whatever system of grunts and gestures passes for language there). Surprise surprise, they're not in Italy at all, they've spent three days sailing 40 miles along the Libyan coast. And to top that: "several people had jumped from the boat but were unable to swim and drowned". These (can I say 'sandmonkeys' here, or will I get told off?) 'people' obviously have a different upbringing to be, cos my old mum always said 'If you can't swim, don't jump out of a boat", a lesson that has served me well throughout my ongoing existence. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 As a keen environmentalist, I have studied the flora of the Med in great detail and concluded that two species should be re-introduced as a matter of great urgency. These are the man-eating great white shark and the lesser spotted u-boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 56 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: So a bunch of 'mostly Senegalese' chancers got on a boat in Libya to seek fame, fortune and benefits in Europe. 3 days later, they arrived in Italy, or so they thought. Strange, though, that everyone there spoke Libyan (or whatever system of grunts and gestures passes for language there). Surprise surprise, they're not in Italy at all, they've spent three days sailing 40 miles along the Libyan coast. And to top that: "several people had jumped from the boat but were unable to swim and drowned". These (can I say 'sandmonkeys' here, or will I get told off?) 'people' obviously have a different upbringing to be, cos my old mum always said 'If you can't swim, don't jump out of a boat", a lesson that has served me well throughout my ongoing existence. Reported for using the word "sand monkey" I would recommend a reprimand. Additionally most of your posting has been dreadful.Make more of an effort or fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said: So a bunch of 'mostly Senegalese' chancers got on a boat in Libya to seek fame, fortune and benefits in Europe. 3 days later, they arrived in Italy, or so they thought. Strange, though, that everyone there spoke Libyan (or whatever system of grunts and gestures passes for language there). Surprise surprise, they're not in Italy at all, they've spent three days sailing 40 miles along the Libyan coast. And to top that: "several people had jumped from the boat but were unable to swim and drowned". These (can I say 'sandmonkeys' here, or will I get told off?) 'people' obviously have a different upbringing to be, cos my old mum always said 'If you can't swim, don't jump out of a boat", a lesson that has served me well throughout my ongoing existence. Another pile of shit. Very few kids listen to their mum, it's a great pity you were the exception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 Fuck! What a useless bunch of cunts, but not as useless as the poster of this nom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Can I suggest that next time you're on Frank's boat and he's chasing you around the poop deck for some bum fun, that you take a jump over the side, preferably with a pair of steel toe capped boots and a weight vest on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Can I suggest that next time you're on Frank's boat and he's chasing you around the poop deck for some bum fun, that you take a jump over the side, preferably with a pair of steel toe capped boots and a weight vest on. As a new party game...... this could work...... creepily reminiscent of Natalie Wood .... or Dennis Wilson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 minute ago, cuntspotter said: As a new party game...... this could work...... creepily reminiscent of Natalie Wood .... or Dennis Wilson. Or Captain Bob, bob, bob... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Or Captain Bob, bob, bob... Ted Heath? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I know that Cunt Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 17 minutes ago, Eddie said: Ted Heath? Maxwell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 hour ago, cuntspotter said: As a new party game...... this could work...... creepily reminiscent of Natalie Wood .... or Dennis Wilson. Or Howlin' mad Rupert Murdoch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 20 hours ago, Alfie Noakes Marx said: Fuck! What a useless bunch of cunts, but not as useless as the poster of this nom. I have it on good authority that the poster of the nom. can swim and they are good at directions, especially down, having plummeted to unchartered depths when posting shit like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 There was this one kid at work, who was some kind of spatial dyslexic. So if giving direction from say, Watford to Milton Keynes, he would say, not 'You head north' but instead say 'You go up'. East and West were reduced to 'left and 'right' and he used to have to turn the atlas round when he was in the car, to reflect the direction he was travelling in. Punchline? Cunt only went off and became a navigator for the RAF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 11, 2017 Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 On 1/8/2017 at 4:34 PM, Punkape said: Reported for using the word "sand monkey" I would recommend a reprimand. Additionally most of your posting has been dreadful.Make more of an effort or fuck off. You sound utterly gay. lol lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted January 12, 2017 Report Share Posted January 12, 2017 8 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: You sound utterly gay. lol lol He is utterly gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted January 12, 2017 Report Share Posted January 12, 2017 On 8-1-2017 at 9:34 PM, Cap'n Cunt said: So a bunch of 'mostly Senegalese' chancers got on a boat in Libya to seek fame, fortune and benefits in Europe. 3 days later, they arrived in Italy, or so they thought. Strange, though, that everyone there spoke Libyan (or whatever system of grunts and gestures passes for language there). Surprise surprise, they're not in Italy at all, they've spent three days sailing 40 miles along the Libyan coast. And to top that: "several people had jumped from the boat but were unable to swim and drowned". These (can I say 'sandmonkeys' here, or will I get told off?) 'people' obviously have a different upbringing to be, cos my old mum always said 'If you can't swim, don't jump out of a boat", a lesson that has served me well throughout my ongoing existence. Maybe your old Mum should have taught you to swim, that would have served you even better when jumping out of boats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 12, 2017 Report Share Posted January 12, 2017 On 09/01/2017 at 6:50 PM, Cuntybaws said: Or Captain Bob, bob, bob... Glug, glug, glug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 12, 2017 Report Share Posted January 12, 2017 On 10/01/2017 at 10:42 AM, Jiggerycock said: There was this one kid at work, who was some kind of spatial dyslexic. So if giving direction from say, Watford to Milton Keynes, he would say, not 'You head north' but instead say 'You go up'. East and West were reduced to 'left and 'right' and he used to have to turn the atlas round when he was in the car, to reflect the direction he was travelling in. Punchline? Cunt only went off and became a navigator for the RAF. The the railway towards Cardiff used to change from up to down at Craven Arms ..train made hell of a jolt when it happened. I was glad when they made it all up to Cardiff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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