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Security Guards


Bubba C

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Security Guards are a fucking joke. If I ever felt the inclination to shoplift, I doubt any one of these badge-wearing mongs would have the brain power and necessary motor functions to get within 500 yards of me as I casually strolled down the high street with a 60" TV under my arm.

These cunts are no doubt the thick fatties who failed their Police-force entry exam, or the soppy, gangly cunts who were bullied in school, and now find retribution by patrolling their local supermarket, hoping to catch a smackhead pocketing a pack of Gillette razor blades, or a chav mother filling her babies' pushchair with Vodka. 

These dopey twats would struggle to secure a job as a PCSO, and probably have an unhealthy obsession with knives, air rifles; and own a hefty amount of camping gear and a book on survival techniques.

They are also the sort of stupid cunt who regale their mates with pathetic 'war' stories (stopping a small child nicking a Pepsi), whilst supping on pints of cider in their local Wetherspoons pub. 

Fuck off. 

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I worked as security at a shopping mall for a few months in the early '90's. A better job you could not wish for.  I only saw about 2 shoplifters in that time but I saw 100's of falls on the escalators and a huge weight of tittage bouncing down the stairs. Stuff your plastic director bullshit, life doesn't get better than watching tittage  for treasure.

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1 minute ago, Manky said:

I worked as security at a shopping mall for a few months in the early '90's. A better job you could not wish for.  I only saw about 2 shoplifters in that time but I saw 100's of falls on the escalators and a huge weight of tittage bouncing down the stairs. Stuff your plastic director bullshit, life doesn't get better than watching tittage  for treasure.

With your sterling military record in the catering corps, I cant say I'm suprised at your employment history.

Did you get flash backs to the potato peelers tent in 'Nam whenever you walked past Spudulike?

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13 minutes ago, Manky said:

I worked as security at a shopping mall for a few months in the early '90's. A better job you could not wish for.  I only saw about 2 shoplifters in that time but I saw 100's of falls on the escalators and a huge weight of tittage bouncing down the stairs. Stuff your plastic director bullshit, life doesn't get better than watching tittage  for treasure.

Did you pack your bags for that there London, off to make your fortune and ended up guarding the pick and mix in woolworths Oxford street, northern cunt.

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29 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Security Guards are a fucking joke. If I ever felt the inclination to shoplift, I doubt any one of these badge-wearing mongs would have the brain power and necessary motor functions to get within 500 yards of me as I casually strolled down the high street with a 60" TV under my arm.

These cunts are no doubt the thick fatties who failed their Police-force entry exam, or the soppy, gangly cunts who were bullied in school, and now find retribution by patrolling their local supermarket, hoping to catch a smackhead pocketing a pack of Gillette razor blades, or a chav mother filling her babies' pushchair with Vodka. 

These dopey twats would struggle to secure a job as a PCSO, and probably have an unhealthy obsession with knives, air rifles; and own a hefty amount of camping gear and a book on survival techniques.

They are also the sort of stupid cunt who regale their mates with pathetic 'war' stories (stopping a small child nicking a Pepsi), whilst supping on pints of cider in their local Wetherspoons pub. 

Fuck off. 

Sounds like you've just finished your shift at the  £ shop.

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23 minutes ago, Decimus said:

With your sterling military record in the catering corps, I cant say I'm suprised at your employment history.

Did you get flash backs to the potato peelers tent in 'Nam whenever you walked past Spudulike?

Due to a 6 year spell of temporary, short term and agency jobs, (for very good reason,) I ended up as a mall ninja. Never once did I work in the catering trade except for QC in a bakery. That is you fucked off.

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4 minutes ago, Manky said:

Due to a 6 year spell of temporary, short term and agency jobs, (for very good reason,) I ended up as a mall ninja. Never once did I work in the catering trade except for QC in a bakery. That is you fucked off.

You're so working class.

It's a pity you weren't working a shift as a security guard in the Arndale centre when the IRA blew it up......

lol.

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12 minutes ago, Punkape said:

You're so working class.

It's a pity you weren't working a shift as a security guard in the Arndale centre when the IRA blew it up......

lol.

We must serve our betters and masters. How would golfers get the service  they deserve? At the time of the Arndale bomb, I was burning foreskins and dead cats in an incinerator at a hospital.

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8 minutes ago, Manky said:

We must serve our betters and masters. How would golfers get the service  they deserve? At the time of the Arndale bomb, I was burning foreskins and dead cats in an incinerator at a hospital.

Just the mention of foreskins and old Punkers gives out a like,have you popped back in your closet or are you going to hit me with an amazing piece of repartee?.I suspect foreskins have been a large part of your life thus far you cock smoking fucking faggot poof

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Well known fact that security guards are mostly rapists who get off on the power trip of bullying northern skag heads into sucking them off when caught stealing from primark. 

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8 minutes ago, Neil said:

Just the mention of foreskins and old Punkers gives out a like,have you popped back in your closet or are you going to hit me with an amazing piece of repartee?.I suspect foreskins have been a large part of your life thus far you cock smoking fucking faggot poof

Whilst escalator watching, I saw this massive pair of tits. I didn't recognise one of them but the other one could have been you.

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5 minutes ago, Gurt said:

Well known fact that security guards are mostly rapists who get off on the power trip of bullying northern skag heads into sucking them off when caught stealing from primark. 

Primark wasn't in my TAOR.

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1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

They caught you then, Bubs? If you want my advice, next time I'd wait until you get the blow-up doll home first before you inflate it.

I don't know why, but I expected it to be Withers or IKTC to be the first boring, obvious cunt to post something like this. Are you ill? 

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On 1/19/2017 at 6:16 PM, Manky said:

Due to a 6 year spell of temporary, short term and agency jobs, (for very good reason,) I ended up as a mall ninja. Never once did I work in the catering trade except for QC in a bakery. That is you fucked off.

Being a thick, northern cunt who can't drive have anything to do with it? 

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11 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

I don't know why, but I expected it to be Withers or IKTC to be the first boring, obvious cunt to post something like this. Are you ill? 

Fucking hell, Withers will be along shortly I suppose. I wonder what delights he'll be dangling before us this evening from his narrow lexicon?

"Lol", "Welsh cunt", "vivre"?

The possibilities are endless with such a wild card, unpredictable wordsmith in the equation.

Fuck off Withers, you washed up old cunt.

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