Wine tasting cunts

[Bubba C]

Before withers tells me that his grapes produce the best wine in the history of the world, and IKTC informs me I'm Welsh and his mansion backs on to a vineyard, I'm going to take a second out of my busy day to dish out a cunting to the stupid fucking poncey cunts who, when dining out and are offered to try the wine by a disinterested waiter who's just wanked into the risotto, pretend like they are a Master Sommelier, swill the vinegar around in their gob and then claim "mmmm, yes that's great", as if they've just sampled a drop of heavenly wine with a bouquet to die for. 

Never mind that the fucking wine is a screw top and one school of thought is that the tasting is done to determine whether it's been corked or not. 

Another is that it was customary for the master or host to drink first to display the wine is safe and poison free for his guests. 

What a load of fucking tosh. Fuck off to your pizza express, order your £12 bottle of piss and die, you stupid little cunts. 

I also hate Rioja.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Cannot beat a good 1970's vintage Party Seven.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

15 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Before withers tells me that his grapes produce the best wine in the history of the world, and IKTC informs me I'm Welsh and his mansion backs on to a vineyard, I'm going to take a second out of my busy day to dish out a cunting to the stupid fucking poncey cunts who, when dining out and are offered to try the wine by a disinterested waiter who's just wanked into the risotto, pretend like they are a Master Sommelier, swill the vinegar around in their gob and then claim "mmmm, yes that's great", as if they've just sampled a drop of heavenly wine with a bouquet to die for. 

Never mind that the fucking wine is a screw top and one school of thought is that the tasting is done to determine whether it's been corked or not. 

Another is that it was customary for the master or host to drink first to display the wine is safe and poison free for his guests. 

What a load of fucking tosh. Fuck off to your pizza express, order your £12 bottle of piss and die, you stupid little cunts. 

I also hate Rioja.

Bubba, you've gone and embarrassed yourself. The purpose of tasting a little is about temperature, whereas one sniffs the cork to determine if it's oxidised. Tsk. This is a bit awkward now. Stick to your 4l bumper bottles of White Lightning, paired with a sumptuous bowl of wotsits and ketchup.

[Wolfie]

20 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Before withers tells me that his grapes produce the best wine in the history of the world, and IKTC informs me I'm Welsh and his mansion backs on to a vineyard, I'm going to take a second out of my busy day to dish out a cunting to the stupid fucking poncey cunts who, when dining out and are offered to try the wine by a disinterested waiter who's just wanked into the risotto, pretend like they are a Master Sommelier, swill the vinegar around in their gob and then claim "mmmm, yes that's great", as if they've just sampled a drop of heavenly wine with a bouquet to die for. 

Never mind that the fucking wine is a screw top and one school of thought is that the tasting is done to determine whether it's been corked or not. 

Another is that it was customary for the master or host to drink first to display the wine is safe and poison free for his guests. 

What a load of fucking tosh. Fuck off to your pizza express, order your £12 bottle of piss and die, you stupid little cunts. 

I also hate Rioja.

Fuck off you primitive, unsophisticated, lager-swilling, Sports Direct-swathed Welsh hick.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

5 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Bubba, you've gone and embarrassed yourself. The purpose of tasting a little is about temperature, whereas one sniffs the cork to determine if it's oxidised. Tsk. This is a bit awkward now. Stick to your 4l bumper bottles of White Lightning.

You'll have to forgive Bubba for his on-going & repetitive ignorance. His use of corkscrew is for dislodging smeg from his jap-eye, hence his experiences of wine tasting are so rank. 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

Kill him Bubba.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

14 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Bubba, you've gone and embarrassed yourself. The purpose of tasting a little is about temperature, whereas one sniffs the cork to determine if it's oxidised. Tsk. This is a bit awkward now. Stick to your 4l bumper bottles of White Lightning, paired with a sumptuous bowl of wotsits and ketchup.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

Excellent nom.

[Bubba C]

11 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Bubba, you've gone and embarrassed yourself. The purpose of tasting a little is about temperature, whereas one sniffs the cork to determine if it's oxidised. Tsk. This is a bit awkward now. Stick to your 4l bumper bottles of White Lightning, paired with a sumptuous bowl of wotsits and ketchup.

You're exactly the sort of thicko this nom was aimed at. The sad little garish-tied cunt who takes his disappointing family for a weekend treat at Carluccio's and acts like a king. 

Riddle me this, quince, you illiterate dunce, how does one sniff the cork of a screw-top bottle? 

Idiot. 

[Bubba C]

4 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Kill him Bubba.

You crossed a line, qc, you're dead. 

[Decimus]

12 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Bubba, you've gone and embarrassed yourself. The purpose of tasting a little is about temperature, whereas one sniffs the cork to determine if it's oxidised. Tsk. This is a bit awkward now. Stick to your 4l bumper bottles of White Lightning, paired with a sumptuous bowl of wotsits and ketchup.

Personally I never thought it had anything to do with temperature. In the case of red wines at least, tasting along with smelling the cork, is to judge whether the wine could be improved by decanting it. This is perfectly acceptable behaviour at home, but I agree with the original sentiment, that in a restaurant environment it's a fucking pointless thing to do. I don't want to wait for an hour to get fucking pissed with my meal, just put it in my glass and fuck off.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Personally I never thought it had anything to do with temperature. In the case of red wines at least, tasting along with smelling the cork, is to judge whether the wine could be improved by decanting it. This is perfectly acceptable behaviour at home, but I agree with the original sentiment, that in a restaurant environment it's a fucking pointless thing to do. I don't want to wait for an hour to get fucking pissed with my meal, just put it in my glass and fuck off.

I think it's supposed to be about temperature, "they" say, but then it's all shite and fucking about. Especially these days, it's nearly impossible to get a shit bottle for over 8 quid or so, and they're never ever corked. I seriously doubt that nowadays one cunt in 100 could with any accuracy say what was a 8 quid bottle and what was a 30 quid bottle.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

13 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

You're exactly the sort of thicko this nom was aimed at. The sad little garish-tied cunt who takes his disappointing family for a weekend treat at Carluccio's and acts like a king. 

Riddle me this, quince, you illiterate dunce, how does one sniff the cork of a screw-top bottle? 

Idiot. 

I don't know, sniff the top or something if you're so desperate to be sniffing at shit, otherwise don't, simply down the bottle in 4 gulps burp in ones wife's face. 

I would never take this lot anywhere more polished or less noisy than pizza express or something, as they always fuck the place and everyone would fucking hate us.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Personally I never thought it had anything to do with temperature. In the case of red wines at least, tasting along with smelling the cork, is to judge whether the wine could be improved by decanting it. This is perfectly acceptable behaviour at home, but I agree with the original sentiment, that in a restaurant environment it's a fucking pointless thing to do. I don't want to wait for an hour to get fucking pissed with my meal, just put it in my glass and fuck off.

Decanting a (red) wine is to make it aeriated, which in turn brings out its full flavour. A good Port for example will benefit from this. Most of the crap on offer in most restaurants won't benefit at all, and the poncing about of the waiters has no point at all, save for making them look a cunt.

[Stubby Pecker]

46 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Before withers tells me that his grapes produce the best wine in the history of the world, and IKTC informs me I'm Welsh and his mansion backs on to a vineyard, I'm going to take a second out of my busy day to dish out a cunting to the stupid fucking poncey cunts who, when dining out and are offered to try the wine by a disinterested waiter who's just wanked into the risotto, pretend like they are a Master Sommelier, swill the vinegar around in their gob and then claim "mmmm, yes that's great", as if they've just sampled a drop of heavenly wine with a bouquet to die for. 

Never mind that the fucking wine is a screw top and one school of thought is that the tasting is done to determine whether it's been corked or not. 

Another is that it was customary for the master or host to drink first to display the wine is safe and poison free for his guests. 

What a load of fucking tosh. Fuck off to your pizza express, order your £12 bottle of piss and die, you stupid little cunts. 

I also hate Rioja.

This nom is wasted on these cunts bubba. Don't believe the bollocks about quaffing the right wine when they dine out when it's really a pint of piss weak carling at the hungry horse, or more likely B&Q paint stripper while they scavenge in the bins behind asda.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

12 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

I think it's supposed to be about temperature, "they" say, but then it's all shite and fucking about. Especially these days, it's nearly impossible to get a shit bottle for over 8 quid or so, and they're never ever corked. I seriously doubt that nowadays one cunt in 100 could with any accuracy say what was a 8 quid bottle and what was a 30 quid bottle.

I have had wine which is corked, and it's fucking rank. Like drinking Sarson's. Price is not the issue, an expensive bottle can be corked, just like the cheaper stuff. Restaurant's are so fucking tight that they ensure that punters don't complain once they've swallowed half the bottle, and so by offering you a sip, as long as you accept the stuff then you cannot complain. Well, not unless you cause havoc and cave the cunts head in with your Blue Nun.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

6 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

This nom is wasted on these cunts bubba. Don't believe the bollocks about quaffing the right wine when they dine out when it's really a pint of piss weak carling at the hungry horse, or more likely B&Q paint stripper while they scavenge in the bins behind asda.

Brewing your own at home, rids any need of a cork. Stamp some grapes in a bucket (boots on or off) sieve it through your net curtains, add a bottle of vodka, and drink.

[Witheredscrote]

Hmmm...' Wine Tasting Cunts '.  Nominated by the Corners biggest whining cunt. Very good.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

51 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

You're exactly the sort of thicko this nom was aimed at. The sad little garish-tied cunt who takes his disappointing family for a weekend treat at Carluccio's and acts like a king. 

Riddle me this, quince, you illiterate dunce, how does one sniff the cork of a screw-top bottle? 

Idiot. 

Not sure that Quince is actually alive.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

According to Homer:

Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the Sage frolic, and the serious smile. 

 

 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

41 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

I have had wine which is corked, and it's fucking rank. Like drinking Sarson's. Price is not the issue, an expensive bottle can be corked, just like the cheaper stuff. Restaurant's are so fucking tight that they ensure that punters don't complain once they've swallowed half the bottle, and so by offering you a sip, as long as you accept the stuff then you cannot complain. Well, not unless you cause havoc and cave the cunts head in with your Blue Nun.

More expensive i.e. older wines prob have a massive higher chance of corked, modern techniques of last 10 years mean fuck all is anymore 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

11 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

According to Homer:

Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the Sage frolic, and the serious smile. 

 

 

From nun to slag.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

26 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Hmmm...' Wine Tasting Cunts '.  Nominated by the Corners biggest whining cunt. Very good.

Kill him Bubs .

[Eddie]

1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

You're exactly the sort of thicko this nom was aimed at. The sad little garish-tied cunt who takes his disappointing family for a weekend treat at Carluccio's and acts like a king. 

Riddle me this, quince, you illiterate dunce, how does one sniff the cork of a screw-top bottle? 

Idiot. 

Can you imagine Quince racing off to france each November for Beaujolais Nouveau Day?, simply must be drank as quickly as possible after bottling as the wine spoils, then in the next breath holding court on how wine improves with age. Fuck that old bollocks, valium are 10 pence each here, beautiful when washed down with a K cider.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

4 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Can you imagine Quince racing off to france each November for Beaujolais Nouveau Day?, simply must be drank as quickly as possible after bottling as the wine spoils, then in the next breath holding court on how wine improves with age. Fuck that old bollocks, valium are 10 pence each here, beautiful when washed down with a K cider.

K Cider? I think of you as being more accustomed to the qualities of a fine Côte de Beaune, washed down with your Doner Kebab, and as for Valium, well, Steredent seems to work on the Mrs.