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Amazon - Taking The Piss


Ape™️

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Generally I find Amazon very convenient and reasonably priced. However, when you start digging in to what's available, there are some sellers that are clearly taking the piss. Example: I have recently installed Hive Active Heating in our house, and the thermostats can been mounted in a variety of coloured housings, to match the decor of the room they're fitted in. Anyway, these housings are generally about £20, which I feel is a fucking ripoff, so ours will be remaining boring old white. But while looking on Amazon, more out of interest, there are cunts selling the exact same £20 piece of plastic for £55! There is clearly no proper price regulation going on, and so for this reason I offer Amazon as cunts to you, errr, cunts. Fuck off.

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23 minutes ago, Ape said:

Generally I find Amazon very convenient and reasonably priced. However, when you start digging in to what's available, there are some sellers that are clearly taking the piss. Example: I have recently installed Hive Active Heating in our house, and the thermostats can been mounted in a variety of coloured housings, to match the decor of the room they're fitted in. Anyway, these housings are generally about £20, which I feel is a fucking ripoff, so ours will be remaining boring old white. But while looking on Amazon, more out of interest, there are cunts selling the exact same £20 piece of plastic for £55! There is clearly no proper price regulation going on, and so for this reason I offer Amazon as cunts to you, errr, cunts. Fuck off.

Never mind this bollocks, get back to the flid game and put me out of my misery by telling me what a flids favourite mild expletive is, and ask that rotten cunt Alfie to do the same with his 'pub chain dessert question.

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W

23 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Never mind this bollocks, get back to the flid game and put me out of my misery by telling me what a flids favourite mild expletive is, and ask that rotten cunt Alfie to do the same with his 'pub chain dessert question.

Why Eric, surely it's obvious? Oh, fliddlesticks!

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6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I've bought a couple of really nice 1940s tea dresses from amazon on Thursday.  Arrived today. 

I bought a set of car mats online from amazon on Friday afternoon. They had not arrive by Saturday lunchtime, I was fucking fuming.  Those lazy cunts at amazon need to get a move on if they expect us customers to stay loyal to the online shopping experience.  They are taking fucking liberties.

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24 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

I bought a set of car mats online from amazon on Friday afternoon. They had not arrive by Saturday lunchtime, I was fucking fuming.  Those lazy cunts at amazon need to get a move on if they expect us customers to stay loyal to the online shopping experience.  They are taking fucking liberties.

Should've ordered a couple of 1940s tea dresses. You'd have been sitting there typing this shite wearing one of them. 

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Guest deebom
7 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

I bought a set of car mats online from amazon on Friday afternoon. They had not arrive by Saturday lunchtime, I was fucking fuming.  Those lazy cunts at amazon need to get a move on if they expect us customers to stay loyal to the online shopping experience.  They are taking fucking liberties.

Pay for Amazon Prime you tight cunt. Free next day delivery on everything.

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11 hours ago, Ape said:

Generally I find Amazon very convenient and reasonably priced. However, when you start digging in to what's available, there are some sellers that are clearly taking the piss. Example: I have recently installed Hive Active Heating in our house, and the thermostats can been mounted in a variety of coloured housings, to match the decor of the room they're fitted in. Anyway, these housings are generally about £20, which I feel is a fucking ripoff, so ours will be remaining boring old white. But while looking on Amazon, more out of interest, there are cunts selling the exact same £20 piece of plastic for £55! There is clearly no proper price regulation going on, and so for this reason I offer Amazon as cunts to you, errr, cunts. Fuck off.

The problem with "proper price regulation" is that Amazon can't operate a market portal and insist the resellers follow set pricing structures as this breaks all the cartel and fair competition rules in most western countries. Its also worth pointing out that the "internet of things" is still new territory and agreed compatibility protocols have yet to be established. At present different hubs have different systems. The Hive Hub in particular is a closed system and as such limits the availability of third party devices. Privacy and security concerns have yet to be addressed satisfactorily as well. Personally I would wait till smart hubs and devices are more smart, more compatible and more secure before handing control of your home over to the machines.

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11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Never mind this bollocks, get back to the flid game and put me out of my misery by telling me what a flids favourite mild expletive is, and ask that rotten cunt Alfie to do the same with his 'pub chain dessert question.

What's a flids favourite stuffing mix? Don't know about Alfie's question - it's tricky.

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4 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

The problem with "proper price regulation" is that Amazon can't operate a market portal and insist the resellers follow set pricing structures as this breaks all the cartel and fair competition rules in most western countries. Its also worth pointing out that the "internet of things" is still new territory and agreed compatibility protocols have yet to be established. At present different hubs have different systems. The Hive Hub in particular is a closed system and as such limits the availability of third party devices. Privacy and security concerns have yet to be addressed satisfactorily as well. Personally I would wait till smart hubs and devices are more smart, more compatible and more secure before handing control of your home over to the machines.

Holy shit! Thanks for the lecture, professor Roops.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Of course! Now it's become clear, I made the schoolboy error of not referencing the 'Enid Blyton' section of my brain. I feel a total cunt now. (Any ideas as to Alfies' pub dessert?)

Profflidderoles.

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It's lucky you resisted the temptation, because any cunt who's stupid enough to pay £55 for a bit of plastic to "colour coordinate" part of the internet of things is automatically flagged on the hit list of every hacker collective in Russia and China. You might have woken up this morning to find your fridge defrosted and your hoover shagging your dog.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
7 minutes ago, Ape said:

I think Alfie may have over-stretched this one a little. It doesn't flow as it should. Spaxo, on the other hand, is fucking magnificent.

Where do flids get their animals stuffed?

Spacksidermist.

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I was going to say that, I was.

No you weren't Authoritah. Like me, you were going to say "A taxidermist specialising in the preservation of animals belonging to people in their late 50s with limb malformations. These pet owning phocomeliacs were primarily the progeny of women who took the drug thalidomide." It has a certain ring to it don't you think? 

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16 hours ago, Ape said:

Generally I find Amazon very convenient and reasonably priced. However, when you start digging in to what's available, there are some sellers that are clearly taking the piss. Example: I have recently installed Hive Active Heating in our house, and the thermostats can been mounted in a variety of coloured housings, to match the decor of the room they're fitted in. Anyway, these housings are generally about £20, which I feel is a fucking ripoff, so ours will be remaining boring old white. But while looking on Amazon, more out of interest, there are cunts selling the exact same £20 piece of plastic for £55! There is clearly no proper price regulation going on, and so for this reason I offer Amazon as cunts to you, errr, cunts. Fuck off.

Hive active heating? You plantain munching mongoose faggot

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1 minute ago, ratcum said:

No you weren't Authoritah. Like me, you were going to say "A taxidermist specialising in the preservation of animals belonging to people in their late 50s with limb malformations. These pet owning phocomeliacs were primarily the progeny of women who took the drug thalidomide." It has a certain ring to it don't you think? 

You're right, I was going to say exactly that. I was being lazy. And taxidermists are getting lazy too, no more hours of Kapok stuffing and stitching, it's all polystyrene moulds and superglue now Ratty.

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6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You're right, I was going to say exactly that. I was being lazy. And taxidermists are getting lazy too, no more hours of Kapok stuffing and stitching, it's all polystyrene moulds and superglue now Ratty.

Yeah they're such cunts. I'd laugh if they started to lose business to enterprising taxi drivers. I arranged a load of bananas in a circle the other day and wittily said to Frau rat I'd created a Bananarama. The cheeky cunt said "are you going to have a wank over this lot as well then Ratto?"

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14 minutes ago, ratcum said:

 I arranged a load of bananas in a circle the other day and wittily said to Frau rat I'd created a Bananarama. 

After a night on the vindaloo I once shat out an almost perfect scale replica of the River Ganges, but Mrs Baws refused to display it as a diorama.

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Guest DingTheRioja
17 hours ago, Ape said:

Generally I find Amazon very convenient and reasonably priced. However, when you start digging in to what's available, there are some sellers that are clearly taking the piss. Example: I have recently installed Hive Active Heating in our house, and the thermostats can been mounted in a variety of coloured housings, to match the decor of the room they're fitted in. Anyway, these housings are generally about £20, which I feel is a fucking ripoff, so ours will be remaining boring old white. But while looking on Amazon, more out of interest, there are cunts selling the exact same £20 piece of plastic for £55! There is clearly no proper price regulation going on, and so for this reason I offer Amazon as cunts to you, errr, cunts. Fuck off.

Make sure when you pair your phone to it, that you lock and password it so when you're out and the family are in, you're not wasting heating the house up for them.

 

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58 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Yeah they're such cunts. I'd laugh if they started to lose business to enterprising taxi drivers. I arranged a load of bananas in a circle the other day and wittily said to Frau rat I'd created a Bananarama. The cheeky cunt said "are you going to have a wank over this lot as well then Ratto?"

I hope you told her you were only going to wank over the tall blonde banana named Sarah. 

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