Weetabix

[Guest Stonk]

Weetabix packaging is a cunt.

The cunt who invented Weetabix packaging is a cunt.

The cunts who, faced with an obvious need for re-invention, have failed to re-invent Weetabix packaging, are sociopathic cunts.

And, for good measure, Weetabix is a bit of a cunt too.

[Roadkill]

People who make profiles on websites belonging to the elite of the internet just to bitch and moan about cereal in list form are pretty cunty, too. Weetabix give me the shits.

[Neil]

If you cut the curved ends off it makes great toy hay bales for lego figures

[Wolfie]

6 minutes ago, Stonk said:

Weetabix packaging is a cunt.

The cunt who invented Weetabix packaging is a cunt.

The cunts who, faced with an obvious need for re-invention, have failed to re-invent Weetabix packaging, are sociopathic cunts.

And, for good measure, Weetabix is a bit of a cunt too.

You've used 'cunt' quite a lot here, Stonk. You'll have anyone believe you're a cereal user of the word.

[Guest Stonk]

1 minute ago, Neil said:

If you cut the curved ends off it makes great toy hay bales for lego figures

No it doesn't.  You just get a big pile of fucking monatomic Weetabix.

[Guest Stonk]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

People who make profiles on websites belonging to the elite of the internet just to bitch and moan about cereal in list form are pretty cunty, too. Weetabix give me the shits.

Oh believe me, there are plenty more cunts in the pipeline.  I just start with what's in front of me: a right mess on the kitchen floor.  Gravity is a cunt.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Stonk said:

No it doesn't.  You just get a big pile of fucking monatomic Weetabix.

You will now and forever after be known as the Weetabix Master. Long may you reign in crumbly, bland, cement-like consistency when dry, infamy.

[Cuntybaws]

3 minutes ago, Stonk said:

No it doesn't.  You just get a big pile of fucking monatomic Weetabix.

I'm pretty sure Weetabix is a molecule.

Jacob's Cream Crackers are cunts.

[Eric Cuntman]

7 minutes ago, Neil said:

If you cut the curved ends off it makes great toy hay bales for lego figures

Fake weetabix has square corners. I call it cheatabix.

[Witheredscrote]

3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

 

Jacob's Cream Crackers are cunts.

So are Tesco's  grAPE Nuts.

[Neil]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fake weetabix has square corners. I call it cheatabix.

Cheerio

[Neil]

Shall I?

[Neil]

Mmmmm?

[Neil]

Oh fuck it,here goes......

[Roadkill]

2 minutes ago, Stonk said:

Oh believe me, there are plenty more cunts in the pipeline.  I just start with what's in front of me: a right mess on the kitchen floor.  Gravity is a cunt.

Mental picture: Male, mid 30's, greying hair with receding hairline standing in bare kitchen of rented house in a beige dressing gown. He's furiously tapping away at his phone with bitter tears in his eyes, a pile of Weetabix crumbs at his feat, the box hurled furiously into the corner in blind rage. He know he's hit rock bottom, the cereal was just the spark he needed to finally ignite the flame. He posts about the experience online, desperately searching for some form of sympathy among strangers. There is none. Only hate. Just like real life.

Later that night he swallows the last of his wife's sleeping pills - she left him for a younger man a few months back, he still hasn't signed the divorce papers - and shuffles off to his bedroom. It isn't a peaceful death like he wanted. His body reacts violently to the pills, sending him into painful convulsions before he finally gasps his last breath, bitter with the words "I should have just got... CoCo... Pops... instea- blergh".

[Stubby Pecker]

24 minutes ago, Stonk said:

Weetabix packaging is a cunt.

The cunt who invented Weetabix packaging is a cunt.

The cunts who, faced with an obvious need for re-invention, have failed to re-invent Weetabix packaging, are sociopathic cunts.

And, for good measure, Weetabix is a bit of a cunt too.

Yes the packaging is utter shit. Why not a perforated paper inner wrapping rather than the brittle film stuff that seems to fall to pieces at random. 

There is no stonk, for now on you are weetabollocks 

[Guest Stonk]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Mental picture: Male, mid 30's, greying hair with receding hairline standing in bare kitchen of rented house in a beige dressing gown. He's furiously tapping away at his phone with bitter tears in his eyes, a pile of Weetabix crumbs at his feat, the box hurled furiously into the corner in blind rage. He know he's hit rock bottom, the cereal was just the spark he needed to finally ignite the flame. He posts about the experience online, desperately searching for some form of sympathy among strangers. There is none. Only hate. Just like real life.

Later that night he swallows the last of his wife's sleeping pills - she left him for a younger man a few months back, he still hasn't signed the divorce papers - and shuffles off to his bedroom. It isn't a peaceful death like he wanted. His body reacts violently to the pills, sending him into painful convulsions before he finally gasps his last breath, bitter with the words "I should have just got... CoCo... Pops... instea- blergh".

Male.  Receding hairline.  Dressing gown.  Kitchen.  Weetabix crumbs at feet.  Check.

Violent death?  I don't think so.  Do I sound unhinged?

Mmm. I have a microwave frozen curry lined up for lunch.  That should be easy.  I can't wait.

[Neil]

Special KKK

[Roadkill]

Just now, Neil said:

Special KKK

Neegrios.

[Neil]

Just Far Right

[Stubby Pecker]

The way this is going Roops et al will be sent into meltdown when they get up in a few hours time 

[Roadkill]

4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

The way this is going Roops et al will be sent into meltdown when they get up in a few hours time 

I don't like the way Roops has been acting lately. It's all mad cackling and flashing lights from the cooler these days... What is she doing with the bodies of Decs, Frank and Quincy? Punkape is his usual self but Bubba has been extremely silent, almost like he's traumatized. What on earth went on in there... Do we even want to know?

[Guest 'eavensabove]

My gran's ashes are better than Readybrek.

[Stubby Pecker]

2 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

I don't like the way Roops has been acting lately. It's all mad cackling and flashing lights from the cooler these days... What is she doing with the bodies of Decs, Frank and Quincy? Punkape is his usual self but Bubba has been extremely silent, almost like he's traumatized. What on earth went on in there... Do we even want to know?

Quince, decs and bubba must have had some special "treatment" one flew over the cuckoos nest style. Roops ratchet anyone?

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Quince, decs and bubba must have had some special "treatment" one flew over the cuckoos nest style. Roops ratchet anyone?

... I for one, kind of miss the likes of Decs & Bubbs. Sure, we never quite see eye to eye, but they are just like the rest of you, and somewhat disillusioned that's all. Oh well, at least they're both doing OK as Mods. Promotion works in mysterious ways at the worst of times.